What Do You Do When You’re Deeply Hurt?

zodiac elkesHow do you respond when you’re very deeply hurt?

Do you attack or retaliate or extract revenge? If yes, are you quick about it or do you lie in wait?

Or do you retreat and lick your wounds?

Do you turn around and hurt someone else?  Take it out on an innocent?

Do you amputate?

Or do you do something I’ve not listed or combine more than one technique or reaction?

Has your response changed over the years?

What’s the astrology?

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Comments

What Do You Do When You’re Deeply Hurt? — 21 Comments

  1. It really depends. If I have been hurt by circumstances or by someone I know casually, I try to figure out why. For instance, at work once, my Boss removed me from a position I was promoted to, to insert a family member. When I asked around if they knew I was being replaced, they were shocked and had no idea. I felt betrayed. I couldn’t bring myself to like the new person but was civil while licking my wounds.
    If my S.O. snaps at me, I snap back and then regret it as end up arguing.
    I can get heated very fast but also let go equally fast.
    IDN. I guess I am passive unless really provoked. I have Mars/Neptune conj. in the 11th House. They are Sextile Pluto in Virgo in my 10th. I do try to reason it out.

  2. I tend to go far, far, away. So far away, I can no longer be reached.
    And I stay there.

    However, I don’t hit this point without severe, egregious offense. But once it happens… well, you can’t wake the dead and I am for all intents and purposes, dead, in this circumstances.

    I’m talking about falling… or even jumping from a cliff that’s so high, it’d be impossible to get back up.

    • Great question! Family and close friends I let them hurt me a few times to be sure. When I was younger in work situations I would leave abruptly at the most inopportune time to stick it to them. Now at 65 – I am trying to bless people who hurt me and work on my own self. However, I keep my distance. Taurus Mars opposite Scorpio Neptune. Aquarius Sun Chiron conjuction 1st house. Aquarius moon.

  3. Mars in Scorpio but a Sagittarius Sun.
    You would think I would plot, but I actually attack pretty quick.
    My Mars hangs onto the hurt and I don’t forget.
    I tend to amputate too.
    Moon in Aquarius.
    I don’t do revenge, I believe what goes around comes back around.
    And I’ve witnessed it happen, I allow myself a smile when karma goes my way.

  4. The first thing I do is retreat, far away (Pisces Moon). After I’ve had a good licking of my wounds, I weigh up how I feel about the situation. Nine times out of ten, I amputate (Scorpio stellium, plus Sun conjunct Pluto). This hurts my Libra because I would hate to seem rude, but really, amputation is the kindest response all round.

  5. I used to be vicious and vindictive towards the person(s) I felt were the cause of my hurt. I no longer retaliate, I figure it is in God’s hands now. Mercury opposite Mars, Moon opposite Venus square Pluto.Venus square Uranus, Scorpio Rising.

  6. HA! I laughed out loud when I read the headline question – it was so fitting. Well, I amputate. I do fantasize about indulging in revenge, but I don’t. Not because I’m a noble person, but because I know that revenge will bind me – not release me.

    People may offend or annoy me, but very few people are important enough to hurt me. My mother hurt me in ways that I never think about. But her death came as a blessing.

    My younger brother hurt me deeper because I trusted him. Is he the only person I have trusted completely, nothing held back? I adored him when we were children, and protected him. As adults I kept looking after him in a myriad of ways; and I made my partner give him money when he got divorced. I did this gladly. With joy! Then he betrayed me out of an inheritance. I keep thinking I’m over it. And then I see him and I – reel. It is so difficult to watch him make his grown children feel sorry for him, poor helpless daddy, so befuddled. They are not aware of what happened between us.

    Apart from being very greedy, I do understand why he needed to act in a way that would break the connection between us. The dynamics between us were too out of balance. And I do understand that my anguish is not just about him, but also about letting go of the hope that I could be of value in that family. Hope really is the cruelest thing.

    These days, he is suggesting to me he’d like for us to go back to how we were. (If I don’t rock the boat) If it weren’t for his children, I would never see him again.

    Scorpio moon, Pluto square moon, Scorpio stellium.

  7. Very deeply hurt? It depends on the situation. I am not sure what causes this in my chart (thinking Mars 8th +Mars/Pluto exact parallel), but I burn, intensely. I seethe with pressurized rage. It’s not something I would openly talk about with just anyone. I don’t attack in the physical. I used to want to exact revenge, but being a believer in the metaphysical, I always knew that I didn’t have to. I have been getting better at letting go of things. I am becoming more balanced and centered within myself and no longer get as deeply hurt, therefore, I no longer seethe, or if I start to, I can let it go before it reaches a point of no return

  8. I try so hard to pretend it doesn’t bother me that I usually make an ass of myself.

    Moon in Scorpio, Sun in Aquarius

  9. My reactions have changed over the years. For the better is my belief. I now cut off, block/remove then withdraw myself away from those who do the hurt & never go anywhere near them again. What’s done is done, so I leave it alone.

    I was very deeply hurt by my own mother my entire life until her death – I didn’t have any feelings when she passed, but I think there has to be love to feel something at all & with her, there was nothing left from me. She always punished me for decisions she made. I got it from my early childhood & it never let up. She never took any responsibility, ever. I cut her out of my life completely when she interfered in my marriage breakdown/divorce by taking sides against me. This was the second time she had done it & that was it for me – never again.

    My own brother, who could do no wrong, but for some strange reason I always went out of my way to assist, also turned & sided with mother, then he took the entire inheritance on her passing. My kids were more upset about it than I was. I viewed it as poison & did not want any of it. I also understand that he will simply squander it trying to bignote himself.

    My former husband had a midlife crisis, but I am the one who wore it; his entire debts in my name when he walked out abruptly & then bankrupted me. I did the 3 years penance, while he kept all the money. He took my new car & left me with his unregistered one. His entire side of the family blamed me completely – for his midlife crisis! Then, the sick sod had the audacity to send me a text message saying, “he tried to make the marriage work”. What I found strange was that he could talk to the kids, talk to both sides of the family, talk to our friends, but he could not or would not talk to me, his wife! No wonder I was blindsided. Needless to say, I deleted his text & blocked his number in my phone & refuse point blank to speak to him. I cut him out of my life in 2011.

    My daughter got married in January 2022 & it was a lovely, backyard wedding in their new house with 45 people. I did not speak to my ex-husband at all. There are photos of him standing behind me or not far away from me, but I simply forget he even exists. I have happy memories of her day & so does she. Her father gave her away, but beyond that, he had no impact at all. What I found kinda funny is that my kids were more worried about how I would react than I was – I have conditioned my mind over the past decade to completely forget about him. Apparently, they met with him before her wedding & he was warned, “if you even so much as chirrup at mum, you will be forcibly removed”. I laughed my head off when I was eventually told that.

    Mars conj Pluto in house 10 sextile Mercury & square Venus. I’ve learnt to use Venus better as I’ve matured.

    • I retreate, lick my wounds, amputate, and hope to get the chance to have a final honest conversation with a person, but if not, lettting them have the last word is priceless. It teaches them where they rank in your life, that their opinion only hurts if you cared, and not responding shows you’re moving on, and it just doesn’t matter, because they don’t, nor does their opinion/s

  10. Deep hurt causes me deep confusion. It’s not a matter of considering revenge, a need to consider meaning and purpose calls, like I am witnessing deep programming.

    I connect natal Mars Scorpio in 5th house of creativity to Saturn in Aquarius 8th house need for transformation work.

  11. If I am deeply hurt, that most likely means I am I am not in ‘soul mode’ – in soul mode I can never be hurt. So if I *am* hurt, it is my personality or ego that is hurt. My mind knows immediately 1) this REALLY hurts and 2) it is an ego hurt, and thus 3) not real.

    So then generally what happens is I oscillate back and forth between soul perspective (it’s no big deal) and personality perspective (it is a GIANT deal). This is a miserable state to be in. Since I have moon conjunct Pluto in Leo in the 8th house, all this dramatic self-torture and suffering goes on in private. Nobody knows, but they are missing a hell of a drama!

  12. The only person I’m ever able to lash out at is myself (mars in 12th maybe? Idk) So when hurt I throw myself a pity party that lasts for months (cancer moon?) At some point, eventually, in time… I have enough of being wimpy and cut ties completely. Because taurus sun forgets (and forgives) none.

  13. I used to strike back viciously when I was younger. No longer.

    I have Mars in Leo conjunct the Sun, and I don’t tolerate people’s nonsense very well.

    These days I usually amputate.

  14. Amputate, that seems to be my reoccurring action. Sun in 8th house? capricorn mercury in 8th house trine pluto in 4th house? I have an aries moon so I’m trigger happy to begin, but natal saturn conjunct this moon usually allows me to roleplay the revenge in my mind along with all the ‘killer’ instincts and intentions but I then retreat. And during the chewing over of the facts if I realize that the likelihood of the cause of this hurt is unreconcilable (and it is usually is the case, trust is hard won again and I’m terribly unforgiving if I’m honest)then I cut, amputate and move on. Sometimes I’m forced by circumstance to meet this person again but it’s never the same and any contact is minimal and I find myself furiously searching for the exit point, trying hard to keep my hidden revulsion under wraps. Oh dear, sad but true.

  15. Retreat, amputate, cry to myself out of anger or sadness, block and if that’s not possible- meaning the person is hard to avoid they will get nothing out of me except ambiental politeness. I will be so gone, they can be sitting next to me but I am not there, it’s like levitating in space- see my eyes but no one’s home. Icing out is surely my capricorn moon & rising, uranus 1st, saturn aquarius in 1st, saturn square ic- Cold at the core. None of that mush that are some other things in my chart. Haven’t gone after anyone because karma works. It’s instant for me and slower for others but when it hits it’s something else. To the point it even makes me feel somewhat sorry about the person because it’s like witnessing a hurricane. Maybe it’s not wise to mess with elemental saturnine people. Karma has rays.

  16. Ok, have just been sacked, and barred, from the pub/restaurant I’ve worked at for the last 8 years. This was on Friday, for the sin of asking the landlord to turn the jukebox back up as I had just put a load of (very good) songs on. This was only the 3rd time in all the time I’ve worked there that I was having a night out in the pub (finances so tight). I was excited to be out. Landlord said closing now, no warning, no last orders. People had full pints so were going to be there for the time it would have taken for them to play. He said I don’t give a fxxx and wouldn’t so I asked him again, quite reasonably. I live in a village miles from anywhere with no public transport therefore barring me as well means the only place I can go out to socialise is now prohibited to me. He’s a Scorpio, I’m a Pisces with Aries Moon and Saturn in Aquarius. I’ve always put myself out for them so there was sufficient cover at work. I’m horrified, though the first two days felt very in control. Woke up this morning though feeling so upset and angry. I’m on my own and will be so isolated. How should I respond? Have been practising self-love this year in a big way and ha ha, really thought I’d been making significant headway in my life. Now feel back at zero.

  17. Welcome, Meonvalleygirl. I’m sorry this happened to you! Under the circumstances, I would try to mend fences just because the place is critical to you. It’s not because I think this is your fault. Damn bosses always have the upper hand.

    In this case, if you can swallow your pride, he may very well regret what he did. Everything can go back the way it was?

    I know this is not a fun thing! I just think the consequences are severe. If you get back in there, in any capacity, you can lay low and take your time plotting your escape.

    Good luck!

    Oh! And 8 years? This is insane! But I would still go apologize… for your benefit, not his.

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