I was talking to my lifelong friend, Ben. This was right before I was going to surgery. I told him at one point, “This is our conversation in case die.” He’s a Scorpio matched with my 8th house.
He told me about a challenge in his life. He seemed stuck for no reason. “This is your Fixed nature but it doesn’t have to be. You can change this. It’s like you’re telling me your underwear is stuck in your butt. Pull it out!” I said.
He laughed at that and paid me for it later, by sharing his this insight…
“How did I turn out?” I asked. We’ve known each other 35 years or so. “As compared to who and how I was?”
Ben thought this was a good question. He said he would have to think about it but…
“Off the top of my head? You had a lot of anger and frustration when you were younger.”
I didn’t recall this but I know, Ben, so I listened. “But the anger was a catalyst for you. When you got mad and frustrated you did good work. You did very good work.”
“Hmm.” At this point, I could relate.
“Yeah, you were mad and it make you take things into you own hands. Once you did that you did really well. Exceptionally well. Anger was like a catalyst for you. You feed on anger and frustration. Anger doesn’t disable you like it does some people. They get lost in their anger. But these things are your stock in trade.”
“Yeah, you’re not looking for love, Elsa. A lot of people are, but not you. You’re looking for a catalyst. I have to think about this some more…”
“Okay! Well thanks for telling me that. If you think about it and then come back and fill in, I’ll think about forgiving you for not talking to me very much for almost two years.”
“Yeah. I read, Elsa’s newsletter so that’s all there is. I’m caught up! This doesn’t cut it, if you’re Elsa,” I explained. “We need to converse.”
What are you looking for in life?