This weekend I drove 16 hours round trip to spend 10 hours with the soldier (we’re married now) during which time we had to sleep. I admit this is weird but it suits me and I was especially aware of this driving home.
I like to move. I like going places. I like to be alone too, for that matter and driving to meet him affords this. Guess what? You can’t bother me I’m in the car! I think I’m a knife. I think I am Snoopy on his doghouse having an adventure and I don’t have a complaint in the world.
And as I was mulling my happy feelings and aware of how refreshed and recharged I was from something another person would not even consider doing it occurred to me I was fortunate to have the awareness that a situation someone else might find untenable was actually custom-made for me. And I wondered how many people have the same freedom or permission and I think the number is low.
Unfortunately most people are out looking for what is supposed to make them happy when in actuality if they ever get it, they will be anything but. I decided I ought to post this because I am not the only one with Venus tied up with the outer planets, am I?
I think it would be criminal to take a person like me and tell them they ought to seek a traditional relationship with a normal(ish) person. I am fortunate that no one ever did. No one ever told me I could or would or should be conventional and I just want to post this for my brothers and sisters out there that keep trying to jam their foot into a shoe that doesn’t fit. We’re all supposed to marry a doctor and what? Wither and die?
What’s your 7th house look like? How about Venus?
Becca – sorry, I added that. Thought of it but spaced… in the wrong direction! 😀
I like a little bit of everything. My seventh house is Gemini and venus is in 12th house sadge, I need variety and change or I get bored bored bored. And they get dumped dumped dumped. All the same I have a lot of earth and when it comes to a relationship, I need some stability.
I said mix. Venus is in very conventional Virgo, but she’s conjunct Uranus and Pluto, and Jupiter (stretching boundaries) is exactly on the 7th house cusp.
I need to be with someone, but I like to have my space when I’m with someone. Just having the bond is enough for me, whether the person is physically present or not.
I don’t know about my Venus- that’s VERY conventional (Taurus/7th/square Saturn), but my Uranus and Sag moon in the first house really aren’t into conventional ANYTHING. (Other than commitment…but if a guy expects a Cancer type with me, he’ll be sorely mistaken.)
I said mix, and I’m trying to read my free chart on astrolabe to figure out the rest…looks like Venus in Sag (freeeeedom baby) and Uranus and Pluto in 7th house (more freeeedom baby)…but also a double cappy (not so much freedom, eeek!). If I’m off here, let me know, I’m winging this. LOL
It’s probably not surprising that i’m not in a relationship, actually.
Venus on anaretic degree opp jupiter on anaretic degree…squaring pluto. I am not nutters…just love love…lucky for me there is air in there.
I said mix too.
“looks like Venus in Sag (freeeeedom baby) and Uranus and Pluto in 7th house (more freeeedom baby)…but also a double cappy (not so much freedom, eeek!).”
ha ha Carielle!
7th house? moon conjunct mars in scorpio trine the sun. venus on the 0 degree of Pisces conjunct the N.N. Sun in Pisces which tends to not be conventional at the best of times.
i just can’t do conventional. every single attempt has been disastrous, one way or another.
trying to get a sense of what kind of unusual i can flow with, but i’m not as pessimistic about the possibility as i used to.
mars in the seventh in pisces square neptune.
venus is doing her aries dance in the 8th w/neptune, pluto, and saturn.
lots of mystic/authenticity/challenge/evolution required. a hard balance to juggle soemtimes.
and i have to keep watching myself for delusion……
Wyrdling, I know what you mean. I have Mars (and Venus) squaring Neptune and always have to watch out for delusion too. I used to think it was better to live in the “perfect” world I created…but that only works for the first 3 dozen heartbreaks.
I have Saturn in my 7th (though it’s close to 8th house cusp). After my most recent sucky disillusionment with yet another guy who was the most “perfect” yet, my romantic mindset was just shredded. I think I’m making a big shift toward being more realistic. (And thanks, Elsa, for the great advice about channeling Venus/Neptune in other creative or compassionate activities and not just in romantic fantasies. Knowing where to direct your energy is most of the battle!)
I used to think Saturn in the 7th meant lack of relationships, or loveless ones with crotchey old men :). And I have had verrrry long dry spells–a lot more dry spells than juicy ones. But now I’m starting to hope. Could it be that, with time and persistence (Saturn), I can learn to be clear-eyed, practical, and have a long-term love that really works? Any other 7th-house Saturns out there who can tell how this has played out for you?
i couldn’t do a conventional relationship. i’ve tried doing the normal thing. it’s … just, no. ew.
empty 7th house ruled by mars in libra in 12th. venus in taurus in 8th. the closest aspect in my chart is venus quincunx mars…
Sorry if my previous post was a little off-topic. We were talking unconventional relationships. I can say that, yes, with my 7th house Saturn, I want Mr. Solid and Dependable coming through that door every night. But that has never happened, so I can’t say if it would bore me once I got it. I do have Uranus conjoining my IC, with Neptune in my 5th house. My only marriage was quite unconventional–he needed a green card, we got married secretly (were going to have a big wedding later), then I found out he was philandering, so we got divorced before anyone else ever knew we were married. Neptune!
My 7th is at 0:09 Scorpio with Jupiter in Scorpio. I said mix, because I’ve taken more of a hands off approach, which is sad. Being that my 7th is Scorpio I can get reasonably jealous but expect them to take it in stride if I am dating other people of which they are one of…
Now though I’m starting to settle and am hoping that Scorpio energy isn’t going to be hyper-laser-focused in a bad way….
valkyrie- instead of looking for saturn in the “coming home at the same time every night” how about looking for “will persistently love you for who you authentically are”?
different saturn approaches.
reliability of feeling vs. reliability of behaviour. i know which one i’d want 😉
phel, hahah, OMG, my Leo Venus in the 8th house (sort of a mixture of Leo with substantial Scorpio colors) just passed out of shock – the mere idea of “dating other people of which they are one of”… Unfathomable! I try to imagine myself facing a situation like that – oh, the conflicting impulses between Leo’s “Off with his head!” and Scorpio’s “Off with his other thing”… I hope you don’t get involved with too many Leo-Scorpio/8th house/Pluto types, it might get painful.
7th house Gemini sun, Mercury, Jupiter and North Node. 8th house Cancer Venus. I need intense emotional and sexual connection with lots of interesting people. 🙂
Fortunately for me I found a quirky Aquarius musician from Ireland who when we met feared that his desire for an unconventional relationship might be the “catch” that would keep us apart.
7th house in Taurus. It’s empty but my descendent is conjunct 6th house Taurus Mars. Also Aries Venus-Saturn conjunction square Cappy Moon. I said traditional. Security and stability are paramount. I like nice boys with good careers.
reliability of feeling vs. reliability of behaviour — how about both?
lol…debby that is funny indeed 😉
i said mix. i like security and stability with independant and exciting people – a paradox. i like to switch gears a lot and like people who enjoy the same, it makes things more intense and interesting. steph, i like the nice guy with the good career too, provided he’s independant and not a mama’s boy! 7th house cappy moon, 11th house aries venus/sun/mars, 5th house libra saturn and pluto all in t-square
A mix. Jupiter in Taurus in the 7th — I want some serious reliability. But, oh, then Venus in Aquarius square Uranus in Scorp. — they’d better be really unusual and not too clingy. I like being in somewhat traditional relationships with odd people.
Lupa, that’s somewhat close to my constellation with some major differences – 7th house in Gemini, Cancer Moon in the 7th and all relationship+men related planets, including the 7th house ruler, Mercury, either in Leo or Cancer, in the dominant 8th house (Cancer cusp) or the 7th. I’ll be satisfied with intense and DEEP emotional, sexual and intellectual connection with ONE interesting person :-D. I’m still to find that one person with which I could develop something that is both interesting and emotionally secure… For both of us. A common problem. Takes magic to solve.
BTW, isn’t it interesting that both the 7th and the 8th house (at least in modern astrology) are related to relationships in some way? I mean the 8th house will usually be in the next sign, which forms a semi-sextile (even if there is no aspect), that is the 7th house and the 8th house are usually in signs that “don’t get” each other, that don’t speak the same language and have different needs and you need to find some common ground. Say someone has the 7th house in Capricorn and the 8th house in Aquarius – that could get pretty tricky.
I voted for ‘never happy’ although I am with a person I love intensely and have been for 6 years. It’s just with my 7th House Saturn (8th in the Koch system) trined Neptune in the 12th and Venus in the 3rd, well they are a constant, constant challenge because I always want to be FREE (Sag ASC).
I like a lot, a lot, a lot of freedom. But… I am happy if it is a long bath with the door closed and a good book, as equally happy as taking a trip by myself. I hate domesticity. I don’t know why. I have zero pressure to be a traditional female spouse (my SO does most of the cooking and cleaning, for a sad example).
Valykrie: the trick of 7th House Saturn is to plant an intention in the Universe that you require a partner/friend/lover/whatever with the same. I’m pretty sure that the fact my SO and I have this aspect in common is a big help. (Unlike my ‘advice’ LOL!)
Valkyrie,
I have saturn in aquarius, south node capricorn and mercury capricorn in the 7th house.I am Cancer rising,capricorn sun (6th house),saggi moon in the 5th house. I also have venus and neptune (both scorpio) conjunct in the 4th house. Venus is square my leo mars in the 2nd house. I am very new to astrology so I don’t know what it all really “means “( help anyone), but I thought I was independent and “grown up” when I married at nineteen (looking back now… the need for secuity…cancer)…I have been married for 25years most of which I have not been truly happy..nice man..reliable, well educated, great job….but I crave the “zing” that we never have had. He has always travelled with his career and even though I have resented this in the past ( as I have felt like a single mother raising two children for most of the time)I have realised now it gave me freedom and some independence during this time that I craved.I have been dutiful but unhappy (capricorn) and lost myself big time along the way. The children are older teenagers now and don’t rely on me as much so I have started to acknowledge this restlessness. Saggi moon,scorpio venus, leo mars is crying out big time…at least I think that’s what it is..so yeah 7th house saturn (for me )means lots of hard work with Mr. Solid and Dependable = loveless and lonely for too long.
oh yeah….i voted mix.
It has to be a mix because my Venus conj. Saturn and Pluto in the 7th doesn’t deal well with all the Saggitarian-ness of me and my Moon trine Uranus.
Right now, I’m not unhappy having no relationship at all, so…
I voted mix. I’ve had many unconventional relationships, but only sexual, (mars in aquarius square uranus) no real love there. Love relationships are very scarse. (venus in capricorn, saturn in the 7th) So, I found a mix now, and have been happily commited for a month.
I just wanted to comment I’d love to marry a doctor, it’s a humanitarian profession and a liberal one at that, so I don’t see it as conventional. I’d love either that or an artist with true talent. I got the artist so I’m happy.
He’s a cancer. I’m having a transit of saturn through the 7th and I’ve noticed I’ve become a saturn figure in my relationships, I was expecting the opposite, but it’s been ok.
Venus in Sag exactly conjunct Uranus in the 12th house and squaring my Pisces Moon in the 3rd house. 7th house is empty with the cusp in Gemini with the rest of the house in Cancer. So I have unconventional fantasies in my head, and sometimes my need for freedom conflicts with my desire for stability and communication, but at the end of the day I really just want comfort with my loved one and a few off the wall hippy friends who we adore and they adore us back. I sorta have that right now.
I voted “mix”, 7th house Aquarius moon, 8th house south node. I have been married and divorced 3 times, miserable all 3 times. I give up on that. My relationships now are with kids and cats.
i imagine things may change with time, but i’ve had too many experiences of people trying to control me to feel comfortable in traditional realtionships- there’s too many hazards and weird cultural assumptions.
As long as everything works content wise and boundaries/expectations etc are clear, does it matter whether a relationship is conventional or not? I suppose I don’t pay too much attention to the form a relationship takes… Although I prefer to have a man to come home to plus two more on the side for good measure.
Empty 7th house, Sag Venus conj Neptune, sextile Pluto might explain that.
I voted ‘mixed.’
The Venus in Libra in me likes the classic, conventional, old-fashioned kind of relationship. The 7th-house-Uranus in me does not. :g:
Yes. I like to have a partner but I need more space than most. Virgo/sag I guess
Mixed here. I am most comfortable in unconventional relationships with the trappings and touchstones of tradition.
Strong believer in “You have to understand the rules before you can wisely break them”
Sag Mars early in 7th/Virgo Venus in 3rd.
Mix. Sag Venus/Neptune square Virgo Saturn/Moon + 5th house Cap Sun/Mars + Aquarius on the dsc.
I want to love an exciting oddball. Boredom is a cardinal sin. Everything that CP said also applies to what I want.
venus trine uranus AND venus trine saturn.
freedom AND stability.
unconventional AND loyal.
who am iiiiiii.
Venus/Cancer and Neptune/Scorpio form a trine to my 7th house Chiron/Pisces; and I have Uranuns/Pluto conjunct on my ascendant — which opposes Chiron/Pisces. I was married for 19 years, which would have suited me just fine; if the other party had showed up with equal effort and intensity to my own. Whether a relationship works or not, really just boils down to both people having similar needs and goals, yes ?
Haha I’m very much a mix…Venus is in a multiple conjunction with Neptune and Uranus and then Saturn on the opposite side…and all in cap so I like commitment but there needs to be lots of freedom as well. I tend to end up in long distance relationships or in situations where it ends up heading that way.
I remember those Snoopy days, I always thought it sounded pretty fun (Sag idealism, ha).
I’m really happy in the relationship I’m in. It’s fairly conventional. It’s strange, he is the first man I’ve been with who is adamantly, vocally concerned with being a provider. I think that’s his stellium in Leo/10th. Leo is generous and 10th brings a strong sense of responsibility. He also has Cancer Mars square Saturn. It doesn’t matter if I remind him we are a 2-adult household. He feels like he should contribute more.
I guess that’s conventional. It’s taking some getting used to because even in previous relationships I was entirely self-sufficient financially and unused to having anyone so much as give me even the smallest of gifts.
I am not complaining. Leos really are something else. With my Leo in Saturn I obviously stand to learn something about myself, here.
I like a mix.
Unconventional, please!
Uranus in Libra in the 5th
Moon in Sagittarius in the 7th
As long as Mars/Venus in Cancer aren’t neglected (Venus won’t stand for it; Mars will get bored and wander off to find other mischief) then unconventional rocks my world.
I have 1st house Venus in Cap. I need a mix.
I voted traditional because that’s what I want. But – hah! I have Uranus 7th, Aquarius ASC, Venus in Aquarius 12th.
I give up – I’m throwing my chart up on the board.
I have Venus/Pluto conjunct. Yeah, unconventional…
Thanks for this, it’s very reassuring.
With having Aquarius rising, I always believed I was well suited for unconventional relationships, but I find that more with people that have Venus in the 11th house…??? Although, I’ve always compared my relationships to that movie “who’s that girl”…ya know, the rebel girl meets the the uptight, conventional business man.
LOL…
…hmmm…I have Venus Trine Pluto…maybe someone dark and mysterious, with a strong sexual drive.
LOL
Aquarius sun in the 4th opposing Uranus. Check unconventional. Pisces Venus in grand square with Mars and Jupiter and opposite Pluto. Check unconventional. Mars, ruler of the 7th in the 7th tying the bow on the unconventional box. My husband has just as independent aspects and we have two homes in two different states and are together about half the time. Perfect!
I have Sun, Mars and Mercury in my 7th house, Mars directly opposite my sag asc. Relationships are very important to me, but they always end up as a fight Mars opp ASC),and a surprising power struggle (Pluto conjunct Uranus both square Sun).
Guess it will always be that way, don’t see how to get around it right now.
Having such a strong 7th house signature I do believe that codependancy is normal. Can’t imagine having a relationship where both are independent. That makes it a kind of a non-relationship doesn’t it? I mean, if the sum of the whole is not greater than the two parts, then what’s the point?
saturn oppose venus, jupiter square venus, venus in the eighth house, in Virgo, seventh house Cancer, moon in the the tenth conjunct neptune square mars.
Three dreadful marriages later…hm, maybe I shouldn’t ever try that again….
mars in the seventh. aspecting neptune.
er. venus has an outer planets aspect explosion 😛