I was just writing about my disinterest in popularity, however status of other types does appeal. This conversation took place before my husband, then fiance, moved to Colorado to be with me…
“P, you know that when we finally get together there will be no stopping us,” he said.
“No, I don’t know that.”
“Well I know that. Are you kidding me? I’ve never worked with someone so well in my life. I have never had a partner as good as you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you are the best partner I have ever had. I am talking about my whole life. Special Forces included.”
“No, I am not kidding. I have never had a partner as good as you and I have worked with some really good people. I have worked with excellent people but as well as I was matched with some of them, it was still nothing like it is for me to work with you.”
I was quiet for a minute just to make sure he meant it even though I knew he did. “You mean…”
“I mean there is no stopping us. There is no stopping me and there is also no stopping you so what do you think happens when you put us together?”
“P, let’s just say Id pick you as a partner over anyone else I have ever met in this world and I mean dead or alive.”
“For what? Partner for what?”
“For anything. For anything I wanted to do. I mean whatever I was doing I would want to do it with you, I don’t care what it is. Aw, P, don’t worry.”
“I am not worried,” I said with my brow furrowed on my side of the phone. I was sitting in the parking lot of the court at the time, waiting to go in. “I just wish you’d tell some of these fucks some of this stuff.”
I was on high alert with court looming. I damned near had the hair standing up on my arms and he laughed.
“I’m serious. I get tired of being mistaken as… I am just sick of being mistaken, let’s put it that way. The list of things people think I am or may be is too long to go into but I sure wish you would tell someone besides me how you feel about this. Jeez man, they might get my name right if you did.”
He laughed again. “Oh, P.”
Sitting in my car, I raised my eyebrows and smirked to the no one who was there and I tried to focus on what he was saying.
“Well I am just saying, here you are some SF guy extraordinaire and you pick me for a partner. You want to do your exploits with me. Jeez, I think that may mean something, I don’t know.”
“Hell yes it means something,” he said. “I rarely want to partner with anyone, I’d rather go alone so yes it means something.
“Yeah, I know what it means. I know why you’d pick me too. It’s because I am one hell of a dummy. It’s because of my stupidity but look. I am going in this court now where I am sure to be underestimated and condescended to, do you think it matters? Do you think what happens in there matters?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I do wish some of these people knew about this other though. I am sure it would change the way they treat me. I wish you’d tell them and on the other hand there is probably no use because you’d never be believed anyway.”
I hung up the phone and went into court to do my invisible act.
Apparently I would like recognition for my prowess. Is there some kind of status important to you? What is it and how does it show in your chart?
For being more together than I let on. Pisces asc with leo sun, merc, mars. I come across young and much like a free spirited softie. I need to do more work on myself in this realm of being, but I don’t want to change too much either. The conundrum is how to be taken seriously and be perceived that way on my own terms.
I know some who like to be recognized for there sexual prowess. Had a Arie/Taurus cusp boyfriend who mentioned this was somthing he was proud of.
I guess for me it is more or less that I just want recognition when I do somthing to earn it. It sucks when people forget, like your birthday, or graduation, or something thats important to you. I especially dislike when I have a secret that somhow gets around, and then I am accused of wanting attention. Sorry to sound negative cap. in first house perhap. I don’t think I want regognition at all, but maybe I do because it really jerks me when those who conive and are decietful end up in possitions of recognition, power. Think of all the people who were stompped on to get there or better yet did most of the hard work along the way.
After much introspection and observation I’ve come to the conclusion that hardly anyone around me has a clear view of anything even approxiamating the true me. I’m also sick of trying only to be mistaken again and again and again. Fans, maaaan. *pfft*
But, yes, I’d like recognition. I’m a Leo, fer chrissakes, of course I want recognition! I’m resigned to the fact that it will probably never happen, though, and if I am recognized it will be for the wrong things. (Whatever they are that day.)
I have four planets in my 10th house so even though I may not like it all the time I am always on the public stage for one reason or another. It seems to me to be like a predestined calling…’ready or not here you go’ kind of thing. I crave status and respect more than most I think. It has been difficult admitting that. Who really wants to admit that they really want to rule the world? But I do. I really do. Plus given the opportunity I will seek out the most powerful man in the room to soak up his energy. Loss of respect, big rejection or mundane things in my life makes me so frustrated I could die.
Sun, Mercury, Uranus and Pluto in 10th.
I relate strongly to what you were saying about not wanting to be in the lime lite or recognized in public in the”How Do You Feel About Being Popular? Good? Bad? Indifferent?” blog. I don’t like it, it makes me nervous, when people I don’t know come up to me like they know me…. My mercury, mars and Uranus are in the 8th house, most of my planets in my chart are above the horizon, keeping each other warm in the sign of Scorpio.
Validation is important for me, knowing that what I am doing has value is important to me….. Respect is also important to me. I am not at all fond of public recognition and praise makes me blush and embarrassed… I can do without praise… I don’t know exacly were that fits my chart.
“I can do without praise”
I feel the same way. Appreciation is imperative but praise makes me feel nervous and I don’t internalize it at all.
Some people have told me this is a problem but I don’t agree, LOL.
I just don’t want to be insulted. I hate being mistaken for stupid.
I”M FUCKING AWESOME, dammit!!!
Yes, Kashmiri, you are! 😀
I AM FUCKING SOMEONE IMEAN AWSOME TOO!
I wish people would see who I am. I guess by that I mean that they wouldn’t dismiss me. I think I am actually formidable, but they don’t see it.
Satori, that makes me very sad. I’m sorry you feel dismissed, it’s very frustrating.
You get my warm fuzzies today. A’ight?
Hope court went well Elsa
Kingsley – thanks,, This conversation is old – 5 mos or so and I was stressed out of my mind. It did go ok that day and better each time. Next court is May and I am relaxed about it at this point.
competence. i don’t need to be liked or popular, but when i do decide to say something i’d really appreciate if people paid attention.
i’m still used to being ignored. at least in my personal life. working on that.
ha ha ha :::phew::: I think I needed that
Hm, I’m weird about it. I want status and appreciation and get weirded out if anyone actually says anything to me. What the heck does that mean?
Yeah, I’m weird about it too. I know and am friendly with a lot of people in my school, have never felt this “popular,” and am starting to lose my footing. I think it’s important to me to be truly liked and thought of as a unique “personality,” even (Gemini Sun, Aquarius Rising, all the Uranus I have). Like people tell me all the time, I just want them to mean it and not be imagining things. I feel like the curtain is falling away and my widespread being liked doesn’t even exist, even if it sounds superficial. Suddenly I don’t have a hold on the school or haven’t “put down roots” in the social scene. And vaguely nasty people who I don’t even like are taking over. My friends who don’t care about “social politics” don’t understand why I’m upset or confused by this.
Recognition is a weird word, at first I thought, no I don’t really care about it. But I do want people to think all sorts of things about me, especially that I’m smart.