One pattern I see constellate over and over in consultations has to do with pressure.
Invariably, one person will want something from the other, whether it be more sex, affection, conversation, whatever. And in order to get that, they push. They ask. They wheedle. They whine. They make it a constant campaign that permeates every inch of the relationship. And the other person shrinks away and withdraws.
So then they to look for little ways to get what they want anyway. If they want more sex, maybe they start cuddling or kissing more, setting up date nights or scheduling “couple time.” But the partner knows all that is just code for “more sex” and withdraws even more. Not to mention, now the cuddles and kisses have become tainted with expectation, which people can smell from a mile away.
When this comes up, there is inevitably a nasty Saturn or Pluto aspect in synastry. One partner trying to control the other. But here’s the thing – that kind of pressure never works. Further, there are better ways to use that energy. Saturn can support and Pluto can feed.
So if you want more from your partner, remove the pressure! Instead, support them and help feed their energy with yours, and watch them come around like magic. And if all else fails, support and feed yourself! Give them space to navigate whatever it is they’re going through and stop setting them up to fail. Let them come to you!
Have you seen this cycle play out? How did it end?
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