Voice Of The Sucker, Elsa P: Dating Scorpio Redux

Regarding, Dating Scorpio and my statement that I stay out of an ex-boyfriend’s secret haunts after a break up, XenoVega writes:

“I pity the sucker who lets other people dictate their freedom of movement.”

That’s one way of looking at it but to me it’s like having someone confide in you. Your obligation to keep their confidence extends beyond the end of the relationship. Basically I prefer people don’t regret having known me.

I also think the choices I make in this regard impact my future relationships so in sparing them I am actually acting in my own best interest.

I really like being able to say, “I am not lousy” and know that it is true.

Does It Matter How You Break Up With Someone?


Voice Of The Sucker, Elsa P: Dating Scorpio Redux — 6 Comments

  1. I agree, but I have been with my husband for so long, I had to remember how my past “break-ups” went. I think this is where my Venus conjunct Uranus came in, because mostly, they just suddenly imploded. I do remember sudden cut-offs, breaks, and they were not really me or the other person taking action, just kind of sudden realizations, like okay, this is done now.

  2. I agree, I think it’s just respectful. I mean, if your Scorpio ex’s secret haunt was actually one of your old favorite places, well then maybe you should have a custody negotiation ;), but it is simply kind to let people carry on with full quarter after a breakup. I picture Grant and Lee being very courteous to each other at Appommattox.

    Let Scorpios keep their secret haunts, let Cancers keep their old pictures and their neighborhoods, etc. There is other turf in the world!

  3. Having been “silent dumped” a LOT LOT LOT, I just want them to tell me in any way they can manage that they are dumping me. I just want to KNOW, even if you do it as “I hate U” on a text message. I don’t care if you do it via phone or e-mail (my ex-fiance did that one), I don’t care what the method is, I just want to be told. I am tired of having to “figure it out for myself” when I call/e-mail someone and then they refuse to ever talk to me again, or run into them and they pretend they didn’t see me. That is the most insulting behavior to me.

    As for the many people who silent dumped me, they either ignore me in public or they greet me all friendly like nothing happened and THEN ignore me. I don’t think they give a crap though.

  4. omg 😀

    Ok, respect after the relationship, if it’s mutual.
    Though, what if you’ve accustomed yourself to “their haunt”? Made friends there? Became a part of the place just like anyone else? Perhaps even some Scorpios need to grow up.

    Love the title 🙂

  5. “Your obligation to keep their confidence extends beyond the end of the relationship. Basically I prefer people don’t regret having known me.”

    “You’re going to be a decent person, when?”

    When, indeed. When it’s easy? When others make you as secure (as possible) about your vulnerability in being decent? Coming from a Libra/Saturn: sometimes being a decent person means you lose something in the process. Otherwise it’s a meaningless facade. Elsa, this post (and a couple of related ones) are just what I needed to hear today.

    Xeno–sometimes the scorpio needs to grow up, and sometimes their guest needs to grow up. It all has to do with why the amputee became the amputee. This isn’t meant as an attack, here: if I didn’t have a life before meeting the scorpio, I would feel quite lame intruding in their life like that. And if I did have a life beforehand… then why am I there? To prove that they have to grow up when *I* want them to?

    In all fairness, this Scorpio has had to grow up a lot–in terms of repeatedly molting my constricting shell environment, as well as knowing when to amputate and why.

  6. Dorothy, you have a Venus/Uranus conjunction and you’ve been married a long time? Please tell me how that went differently! I have Venus square Uranus and am all too familiar with the sudden, “oh, we seem to be done, right now” break-up. Which is true, it always has seem to have run its course, but I’d really like that to go differently at some point.

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