We got into this stuff in the comments on Elsa’s Poker Face Revealed To Elsa so I’m back on the topic. Also, with Mercury in Scorpio conjunct my Midheaven (and natal Neptune) I can’t imagine there will ever be a better time to try to ‘splain this…
I was talking to my sister, I was about 30 years old. She’s a Pisces with Moon Jupiter conjunct in Sagittarius…
“Well they think that because you’re Italian,” she said.
â€˜What? No they don’t. They don’t know I’m Italian.”
“Yes they do.”
“No they don’t. I never said I was Italian.”
“Well you look Italian, Elsa. You don’t have to tell people you’re Italian, they can see it when they look at you.”
We were on the phone and I stopped to think about what she was telling me because it seemed both surreal and important. I was having a Neptune transit by the way. Neptune was conjunct my ascendant, setting off the natal aspect so I was super-confused.
“Okay, so what are you telling me? You’re saying people know I’m Italian whether I tell them or not and they assume things because of this?”
“Yeah. You look Italian, Elsa. You’d be hard pressed to find someone who looks more Italian than you.”
“Hmm. Well when did this start? When did I start looking Italian?” I asked.
She laughed. “You’ve always looked Italian. Since you were a kid. We were Italian kids in the desert.”
I had no comment for awhile because I was sort of flabbergasted. I also thought she might be tricking me because she does that. “So people knew we were Italian when we were kids. This is what they thought?”
“Hell yes. People couldn’t help but notice us, we were the only Italians around.”
“We were? People knew this?”
“Elsa, think about it. There was our family. Think of the pictures. Our family pictures. We are a bunch of Italian kids, right?”
“Well when have you ever seen any other Italian kids that were not us, in your life?”
I was stupefied.
“Right. We were the only Italian kids around. We were probably the only Italian kids in the entire city, so yeah. People looked at us. They stared at us even because we were the only Italians they’d ever seen and I can’t believe you didn’t notice this. And I’ll tell you something else,” she said. “Men have been going out with you and not going out with you all your life because you’re Italian.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
She laughed. “Apparently not, but it’s true.”
Later I called a friend to check this out…
Briinnng Briinnng. I called Sonia.
“When you met me, did you think I was Italian?”
“I’ll be damned.”
Later I caught up with my sister.
“I believe you now. I believe I look Italian and I always have.”
“Yeah, well I don’t know how you couldn’t know this. Yes, I do. And what did you think you looked like? If you didn’t think you looked Italian, then what did you think you looked like?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I thought I looked like myself. I thought I looked like a human being, Elsa, just a plain person, not a certain kind of person. To tell you the truth, I’m taking your word for this and the word of other people but it makes no sense to me at all. It’s unnerving to say the least. People want to date me because I am Italian? Or not date me? That is just too much. I can’t say that I like finding this out.”
“Nobody would believe you didn’t know you looked Italian,” she said.
“Yeah? Well, whatever. I said I will accept it, let’s talk about something else. Something less disturbing if that’s possible. When does this transit end again?”
Oh, Elsa. I too have Venus/Neptune and have been disturbed by having it revealed to me what ‘I really look like.’
When I was 12 I was first called ‘big nose’ and I remember saying to the kid ‘No I don’t have a big nose!’
I was shocked that someone would see something I could not. I was about 20 years old when I started accepting it. Now I like it.
As for me, every time I watch a video of you I am mesmerized by that lovely head of hair of yours! LOL
BTW that picture is hilarious…is it you or Mosta?!
kashmiri – that’s my daughter a few years back. 🙂
Elsa, you crack me up! I thought you meant people say you look Italian but you aren’t Italian at all! 😀
I have my moon, mercury and venus all in the 12th house, so I really have very little idea what I look like, or how I appear to other people. I have to put a lot of mental effort into maintaining even the slightest grasp on my appearance. Like, I’ll do a self-portrait, set it aside for a few days and then look at it in total shock like “wow, is that really what I look like? No way!”
But yeah, even if I hadn’t been reading here forever and already known you were Italian, the videos are a dead give-away.
Yep, I just sort of “understood” you were of Italian descendant. I don’t ever remembered being told such a fact or reading you are an Italian American… nor did it matter to me. It is just part of who you are “somehow” and in a GOOD way. I think you’re strikingly beautiful with your dark hair and peppy expressions. By the by, love the posted photo of you — the expression is just too rich! (LOL)
Well actually, hitchhiker72, that’s another angle. There are a slew of people out there who tell me I am not Italian (no a REEEEEAL Italian) because I was not born in Italy and I do not speak the language. I can’t imagine why I’m confused. 😛
But really, as important as all of this is, (and it is important… my life has been profoundly affected), it also makes no matter at all because let’s face it. People think weird things all the time! Especially about people with Neptune conjunct their midheaven!
I am half Italian and half Scot (taking after the Scots w/blonde and blue) Growing up in an Italian neighborhood,I was hyper-aware of how I looked to others. There was even a (no relation) mobster complete with nickname “Fat Tony” sharing my last name. My whole childhood, people said your a S*****? You’re Italian?
That’s funny, Jana, because a lot of ~northern~ Italians are blond! *lol* It’s that Gallic (celtic) influence.
Actually, there are blond Southern Italians as well.
I personally know a couple of blond Neapoletans and almost married an Apulian whose father’s family is predominantly blond and blue eyed… That said, most of the time it’s not that difficult to tell not only if a person is of an Italian heritage, but also whether if the heritage is Sicilian, Neapoletan ecc.
True, my ex’s family were from Naples, all blond hair and blue eyes.
I believe that is the ‘original’ colouring, that the black hair and dark eyes comes from the moorish invaders. Or so they say.
You’re not ethnically Italian, are you, Candela? Or are you ethnically Finnish? (I don’t remember). I remember you mentioning you lived there for a while or something, right?
I don’t know that anyone’s ever assumed anything from me because I look Italian (and – oh boy – I do).
In fact, I’ve had people ask me if I was Spanish, before. 😛
I can see the up side of your non-realisation about people’s assumptions regarding your looks when you were growing-up Elsa, the huge up-side. It also probably means, you never assumed things about people superficially either.