Scorpio Moon In Your Midst

“Yeah, it was an exercise, Americans against Americans, they dropped me behind enemy lines,” my husband said. “I was to scout out their positions. I walked right up and knocked on the door of their headquarters. I’m lost, I said.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, they said come on in here. We’ll get you un-lost. Mighty grateful for that, sir, I said. I can’t find my way around here, I’m just a hayseed.”

I roared.

“Yeah, they gave me a cup of coffee… told all their positions. I had all their positions in about four hours. Usually you’ve got to go behind enemy lines and scout all that shit. Takes forever but here they were telling me their whole set up. Artillery is over here… we got this over here and that is set up over there. They had the map out… well I am much obliged, I said. Much obliged.”

“They find out about this?”

“Well yeah. They found out in the debriefing… what went wrong, what happened. Hell yeah they found out. They got taken in by Southern hayseed that’s what. They were writing it all down for me, ’cause I’m so stupid…”

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Scorpio Moon In Your Midst — 12 Comments

  1. yeah, he goes up to them, “What is it we’re doing again? We’re going to attack them how? Oh. Oh, okay. Okay, I think I get it now, thank you. Thank you sir, thanks so much. I don’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t helped me. Had my ass in a sling for sure…”

  2. Yeah, the “Gomer Pyle” strategy works wonders sometimes. Thanks for making my coffee come out through my nose. Is he going to write his memoirs one day? Or have you ghost-write them? This stuff is precious.

  3. Too fucking bad. I think America (well, the world) could benefit greatly from his perspective – he’s a real guy, one of us, who has seen everything and knows everything and has been through everything and can convey it in a humorous and WISE, people-friendly framework. That’s rare and we’re going to need people like him (and you) in the coming age.

  4. Del thank you and we are here, just in this form. I am his scribe and before me…nothing. He talks to me and it gets broadcast. This is the way it is with me… in fact my sister caught on to this when we were kids and boy was she pissed.

    “If I want to say anything, I have to say it through you,” she said.

    “Why is that?”

    “Because you’re the one with the fuckin’ megaphone strapped to your face…”

    I found it hard to argue and as you can see the soldier is in the same boat except he has no desire to talk to anyone anyway. In fact, he told recently me if not for me he would and could go months on end without seeing a human face and it would not bother him in the least.

    I can tell you for sure he’s not kidding. But I am here and I do exist so his voice does go out and this will continue (even if people complain :))

  5. Well, I for one am thankful for your megaphone. That was too funny…did they give him a ride back to his pick up point too?

  6. “Well, I best be getting back to work. Thanks for the coffee, sir. I’m much obliged. You have yourself a great day now, ya hear? Thank you, sir, thank you,” as he backs out of their headquarters with his head tilted down, humbly.

  7. ROFL. That made my day! This story reminds me of a girlfriend of mine that became a police officer and then ended up having to leave the force because she never did the aggressive pat down or hassle and the bosses didn’t like it one bit. She sweet talked everyone. People would tell her whatever she asked. She was like that LONG before she became an officer. She was non-threatening and everyone around her would just SPILL.

    I was always amazed at her ability.

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