I’ve been in a relationship for 12 years. I am 35 years old and have 3 children. I left my husband last year because he had been cheating on me for the past years, which I got tired of. He has children with other women.
A couple of months ago I met this guy who I’ve been seeing, but he is married. I love everything he does for me and for the kids, He says he loves me but I know it’s not true. He is very jealous and calls me ten times a day to see what I’m doing. He’s been with his wife for 15 years and we see each other everyday and spend time together on the weekends all day.
We tried to separate on a few occasions, which failed. I love him because he makes me feel loved. I wish I could have him but he’s taken. I need some advice how to stop this relationship, because at the end run, someone will get hurt and I do not want to be the cause (or get hurt myself).
To be very candid, you seem to have a penchant for forming triangles in relationships, have you noticed? And you sound detached, even nonchalant about it… so I am not sure what your problem is. You love the guy, because he makes you feel loved, though you know he doesn’t love you? Come again?
Look. You’re making very little sense. And for a Virgo, with four planets in the sign, this is pretty scary. You don’t want to cause hurt, but you’re screwing someone else’s husband when you have firsthand knowledge of how it feels to be on the other end of that. Huh?
Not that I think his wife is all that upset. The way it sounds, she is glad to be rid of him and I can’t say I blame her. Who wants some bastard calling them 10 times a day, anyway? You field those calls and she is free to live.
So this is all very curious to me. But this is an advice column and you wrote for advice on how to end the relationship and that much is simple. Call the guy up and tell him you changed your mind. Like this: “Don’t come around anymore, because I’m no longer interested.” Because what do you mean, you “tried to separate on a few occasions, which failed”? How is that possible?
Sorry, but I have to quote Yoda: “Do or do not do. There is no try.”