Jupiter in Sagittarius: My Sister’s Big Mouth And Opinions

My sister continues to predict doom as I prepare to go “east” and meet my prospective in laws.

She’s got Capricorn (doom, realist) combined with Moon Jupiter in Sadge (blunt) and the family Mars Mercury signature, hence the swearing below the break.

XXXXX is her husband at the time. I never liked him so always blotted out his name in my writing. Massive evidence of the condition of my 7th house here, never mind a Neptune transit to same.

“I doubt it will be that bad,” I said.

“I don’t. I hope it’s not worse and it’s up to him. He better not fuck up. If he fucks up with you he’s over. You’re the end of the road. I think he’s smart enough to know this and that’s a good sign. That is why we’re even paying attention to this. XXXXX and I think there’s a chance  this is the real guy for you.”

I didn’t answer. I thought she was jaded but also knew better than to dismiss her, I was aware of her track record.

“Look. I know you love him, that’s obvious. I want this to work out but I know how you are. I’ve watched you my whole life, and he better not fuck up.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that if he fucks up, he’s over.”

“How?”

“Well, Elsa, how old is he? Almost 40, right?”

“He’s 37.”

“37, never been married, no kids and now he has a chance. How many chances do you think he gets?”

“I don’t know.”

“I do. None. His chance is you and he knows it. That’s why he is trying to do it right. That’s what he keeps telling you, right?”

“Right.”

“Well I think he’s been doing it wrong for awhile,” she said with a snort.  “Now look at you. You’ve been married.”

“Yes.”

“So you know how. And you’re not almost 40.”

“No.”

“How many men have tried to marry you? How many proposals have you had, anyway?”

I didn’t answer.

“Really, Elsa. How many?”

I didn’t answer.

She laughed. “Don’t tell me you don’t know. You’ve never counted them?” She laughed some more and yelled to her husband, “Elsa can’t remember how many men proposed to her.”

“Do you remember their names?” she asked.

I didn’t answer.  I couldn’t answer, not on the spot, like this, anyway. Crap, what a thing to ask.  I was not expecting this quiz.

“Oh man! See what I mean?”

“What?” I asked.

She yelled to XXXXX. “XXXXX! She can’t remember their names. She can’t remember who wanted to marry her, Elsa doesn’t know.”

I heard her laugh and imagined her shaking her head so I laughed too. What the fuck. I decided it had to be Neptune transit, because I must have this information somewhere, er…

“Look, Elsa. With your 7th house and your stupid dimples, finding someone to marry you is not a problem. If he fucks up you’ll do what you always do.”

“What’s that?”

She was incredulous at my stupidity. “Leave! You’ll leave him. You’ll leave and find another man in a week. Two weeks, tops. Even if you don’t want one you’ll find one, they find you. Crooked lipstick and all. They don’t care! Those motherfuckers… look. All I can say is you can’t go a week without some guy pouncing on you. It’s that Neptune. It’s that fucking Neptune and those dimples…. don’t argue with me because I know what I’m talking about.”

At that point I had my head in my hand.

Skip to My Sister Continues To Speak Her Mind

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Comments

Jupiter in Sagittarius: My Sister’s Big Mouth And Opinions — 5 Comments

  1. Thanks, Tam. That was a strange decision I made in… 2001. I have named everyone “something”… when they have shown up and/or allowed permission I have used their real name (Scott, Leon, Ben come to mind). But I just kept using XXXXXXX all these years. He just wasn’t worth the trouble to me to make up a name… seriously. I simply refused to acknowledge his qualities.

    He was actually in one of the stories that was going to be in my book and this was a big debate. HQ thought I could not call him that – I told him I would come up with an alternative if I had to but in the end we did not use the story (even though I loved the story, like I like my own jokes),,, so this spared me from ever naming him, whew!

  2. My grandmother’s sister used to cut you out of photos if she decided that she didn’t like you! We have all these photos with bodies but no head or just half photos. She would keep the entire photo with just the head missing. I’m the only one that thinks it’s funny, but I never lost my head! LOL

  3. Heaps of our family photos have X’s over the eyes…of everyone but one sister. Of course, she denies this. :::rolls X’d out eyes:::

  4. This tooo funny! I just love you and your sister’s conversations. BTW I didnt know it was rude to laugh at your own jokes but our family do all the time. We all have sag or jupiter aspects, go figure

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