StephB writes regarding Vicious Meets Gullible:
“Incredible power play, and very successful if it works. Once the gullible person gives up the power to think or see the truth, they become more and more dependent on the liar; they begin to need them for their sanity (as they go insane). Everyone sort of knows what’s going on, but can’t possibly risk making it conscious; by then, there’s too much to lose. I’d say the biggest loser is the one who enters this deal (the ‘gullible’), and not the person being lied about (who at least can live in reality and maintain their own integrity, even if no one else believes it).”
I agree. Even when the person(s) does realize it, sometimes years or decades after the fact, they virtually never apologize or make any kind of amends to the person they helped to devastate. This type thing happens pretty routinely to me and I have NEVER seen a straight up apology. Not once.
The thing is people who are gullible, side with the vicious person who is no real friend to anyone. This becomes apparent eventually so ultimately the gullible winds up bereft and empty-handed having traded the possibility to have a real friend like me when they internalized the lie.
The long term result of this is the person winds up thinking people suck and they are all wicked. They become a jaded victim when in reality it is their inability (or unwillingness) to discern that caused the problem not just for themselves but for others.
Personally, when someone contacts me to tell me how lousy someone is, I figure they are talking about themselves and that’s a fact. I rarely take it any further than that other than to dread seeing the person’s name show up in my email because I know they have an agenda and I don’t like to be lobbied.
I am also insulted they think I am stupid or easy to manipulate and I guess this boils down to boundaries in relationships.
I try to form relationships with people who support me rather than oppress me and the upside of the vicious and the gullible hooking up is I don’t have to be around either.