StephB writes regarding Vicious Meets Gullible:
“Incredible power play, and very successful if it works. Once the gullible person gives up the power to think or see the truth, they become more and more dependent on the liar; they begin to need them for their sanity (as they go insane). Everyone sort of knows what’s going on, but can’t possibly risk making it conscious; by then, there’s too much to lose. I’d say the biggest loser is the one who enters this deal (the ‘gullible’), and not the person being lied about (who at least can live in reality and maintain their own integrity, even if no one else believes it).”
I agree. Even when the person(s) does realize it, sometimes years or decades after the fact, they virtually never apologize or make any kind of amends to the person they helped to devastate. This type thing happens pretty routinely to me and I have NEVER seen a straight up apology. Not once.
The thing is people who are gullible, side with the vicious person who is no real friend to anyone. This becomes apparent eventually so ultimately the gullible winds up bereft and empty-handed having traded the possibility to have a real friend like me when they internalized the lie.
The long term result of this is the person winds up thinking people suck and they are all wicked. They become a jaded victim when in reality it is their inability (or unwillingness) to discern that caused the problem not just for themselves but for others.
Personally, when someone contacts me to tell me how lousy someone is, I figure they are talking about themselves and that’s a fact. I rarely take it any further than that other than to dread seeing the person’s name show up in my email because I know they have an agenda and I don’t like to be lobbied.
I am also insulted they think I am stupid or easy to manipulate and I guess this boils down to boundaries in relationships.
I try to form relationships with people who support me rather than oppress me and the upside of the vicious and the gullible hooking up is I don’t have to be around either.
Right. Better off without the vicious and the gullible.
Wow, this is directly staight from a chapter in my life. The liar (Libra) was also a Spell Caster and always will be. The gullible, waaa, I thought you were my friends, I believe, never learned to think for themselves, and as you say, would never admit it even if they saw the lies.
And also as you say, at the same time I was devestated, I thought, Too bad for you that you joined the crowd and threw away a friend like me.
this rings so true for so many relationships including family, in fact programmed by family. It is weird unspoken ground this, but I am seeing it being worded recently and it is a relief. Quite right there is never apology – perhaps because taking responsibility in these mostly BIG life decisions is too much to bear…but once you do, there is discernment and there is liberation.
No one wants to be the projector. We want to be the movie. I worked in post production for years and always tried to get acknowledgement for the all the hidden workers in film, but to no avail. The more technical type of person carries a pride in their skill to make things happen rather than be the happening.
Anyway, this is interesting – making pacts with lies and then keeping face forever after.
I’m not sure how this applies, but I’m thinking about James Ray and his avoidance (lies) regarding his resposibility in those Sedona deaths. I was on his email list and he kept sending out the same BS statements over and over for weeks about how he and his staff were cooperating with the authorities while doing their own ivestigation, on an on ad nauseum. Well finally he sent out the results of his investigation, OMG, it was a PDF like 80 pages, I mean who would ever peruse all that, bogus.
So he sends this email out yesterday,
“James Ray’s legal team has interviewed more than twenty people, (hello there were more than 70 people suffecating), including participants who attended the Spiritual Warrior Retreat, James Ray International employees and volunteers both inside and outside the sweat lodge; the man who built the sweat lodge under contract with the Angel Valley; and a Native American expert on the construction and use of sweat lodges. A review of these and other facts shows that the deaths were heartbreaking and tragic but were not the result of criminal negligence on the part of James Ray or JRI.
This was a terrible accident. Much has been written and said about this matter – some true, some not – but nothing will ever alter that simple fact. Mr. Ray was and is devastated. The victims were friends and students. He cared deeply for all of them.”
BS I mean people were crying out that some were unconscious and he said to just wait it out.
And I finally replied, blah blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda, why don’t you just own up to the fact that you made mistakes that lead to people dying?
I was once the guillible…but I once I woke up I made the vicious apologize…that’s right, I told him to say he was sorry for messing with my naive head. He did…and he even said he had NEVER done that, nor had anyone ever asked him to do that. He even said that it was hard for him to do…but in the end I learned a BIG lesson AND got my apology.
Now, I know better…and if it happens again I’ll have only myself to apologize to. 🙂
Sheez Mari – comes back to that ‘it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, it’s only the truth that counts’. And once there is truth, then the process of forgiveness can begin.
Oh, my goodness – I left for a couple days and just now found this post!
You’re right Elsa – There’ll be no apology. Your comments on this have just made me start to realize the significance of this, at least for the dreadful case of this I’ve experienced.
It’s dawning on me that there’s a very high chance that someday soon I’ll actually be blamed for not preventing the ‘gullible’ from believing the lies (lies about me!). So they’ll reject me and hate me once for fake reasons, and THEN, after they get burned by the liar (and they will, like you say), then they’ll resent and hate me again – but this time, for the reason that I was living in the real world, while they got lost somewhere. And they won’t be able to be close to me even after they see what’s been done…