I favor interactions that are one on one and tend to shun everything else. Liz Greene states that triangular relationships cannot be avoided. I agree. If you and your partner discuss your ex-lover (or theirs), that’s a triangle.
When I consult with a client about their partner, that’s a triangle. But as far as for outright competing for a man against another woman or other blatant forms of three-way relationships, I avoid them like the plague.
I have good boundaries in relationship but besides that, I enjoy the alchemical process that can only occur in a vacuum. I tend to run with similar types. People who want to be in a closed container to some extent. But when Venus squares Pluto, which will occur over the next couple of weeks, I find myself involved in these situations.
Betrayal and double cross are also a possibility. With Pluto in Capricorn, fear and paranoia may also be a theme. It’s a marvel, really, because no one is really innocent.
How do you feel about relationship triangles?
Never – one and one. That applies to all my relationships – partners, friends and family. They are few and they all run deeply one to one. Anything else has only brought negative results for me. I jump from one on one to the collective with no in between.
OMG-I woke up and read this- you are speaking my language!-
I just found out for certain that my ex-(I know I am not supposed to say exok..father of my child) whom I am involved in a custody/visitation basically war with-has a live in girlfriend and she has a son(same age as mine)-I am in a state of shock at the moment.Not only has he not come forward with this fact-he is stating in emails to me all this bullshit-excuse my language-but I can tell she is behind them-
It is all killing me right now-the father never wanted much to do with him- and know all of a sudden he is acting out. Though- all I asked him was to spend a little time with his own son ALONE-so that my sone can get used to his dad again and establish some trust-he wont do it. My little one is only 4. I consulted with Elsa not to long ago- and she helped me so much ;-)-but with this new factor that I just found out-I feel myself slipping back. The father of my son is a Aries Sun-and I am wondering if some of his actions/aggressive/attacking is going to go into remission- I wish he find another battle/challenge. I know his motivations are not pure to do what is in his son’s best interest-that is the hard part!
I was thinking about this last night. I have two sets of triangle relationships that are wonderful and I spent some time with one last night. These are two women that I work with and we have formed a very strong, deep bond over the last 9-10 years…we get along great….I am the Cap, one is a Scorpio and the other is Cancer.
The other really great triangle relationship that I have is with my two best friends from childhood. We chat, text, email almost everyday, one lives in France (Scor/Leo), the other lives in Honduras (Cap/Sag), and we all get together once a year and have been doing this for over 20 years.
The caustic triangle relationship that has once again erupted its ugly head in the last couple of weeks is the one with my sisters. And that one has always been that way…very painful. I am the oldest and so the one that took care of my mother as she died from ovarian cancer, my grandparents after that and still caring for my grandmother (93) who lived with me after my mother died, but recently had to move her to an assisted living place after a stroke. They are Libra/Aquar and Virgo/Aries. I guess I took over the mother role and it is hard for them to view me as a sister.
Whereas, in my other two triangle relationships, the emotional bond is more balanced and I am viewed as a sister.
Elsa, this is such great “therapy” for me….you have hit on a few really good topics that hit home at the right time. It has made me think and muddle through….so I thank you. Is this what you are referring to….when you say triangular relationships?
i have always been in triangle relationships, since i was very small and in between my mother and grandmother trying to stop them from fighting.
i realized around the time of my SR that this was a pattern i was willing to break.
still, it comes up. 2 friends from school (myself, a fantastic double gemini gal and an aquarian sun, capricorn guy) and i have a BLAST every time we hang out. i really appreciate when you make new friends and it works out so well.
not particularly… as far as i know.
but i’ve similar energy natally and i burned myself pretty good over the years and maybe i’ve learned a lesson or two…
but the female student dramas are exploding.
DenaMaria – writing you another post..
I’m comfortable with triangles, but I grew up an only child and that’s what I’m oriented towards on some level (just me and the parents all my life). As long as all parties involved are acting sanely, it’s all good.
But yeah, stupid soap drama “he must decide” triangles are just irritating.
sounds like good old competition to me with a (un)healthy splash of mars/venus aspect. i have mars in sextile to sun/venus/mercury and can’t help but compete for attention. sigh…
Ah triangles the subject of the consult I just had with Elsa! I seem to have a triangle pattern since childhood. Not sure why. Is it a Pluto thing? Romantic triangles cause me unhappiness but they present themselves to me ALL the time. I recently said no to one–
In terms of friendships, I have a packed 11th house and love groups of friends, including three’s.
I avoid triangles like the plague. But they do seem to occur with me in the middle. The only way I’ve found to cope is to not rise to any bait and simply remove myself from the triangle. Lately, I’ve been laying really low and avoiding a situation like this. I don’t know that they can ever be resolved. I used to try, being peacemaker etc, but that usually blew up in my face. No idea if there’s an answer on this….anyone?
That said, I do have friendships in groups of 3. We all do fine. I avoid gossiping and negativity and give them the benefit of the doubt if one starts veering that way.
My marriage has been troubled with at least two triangle relationships – between my husband and I and the mutual friend who introduced us, and then we had a roommate during our first three months of marriage. This is probably the first time where I’ve been able to say “Wait a minute, nope, this is not going to keep happening.” and I’ve radically changed the dynamics of these two situations to eliminate the unhealthy “meddling” that was happening. With my marriage, it came down to boundaries, and strengthening the bond between my husband and I as the number one priority.
In lower stakes relationships, I have yet to master the delicacies of appropriate boundaries and disclosure in relationships that happen three ways. I’ve introduced girlfriends to each other, then they spin off with their own great relationship – which should be great, but I’ve struggled with feelings of loyalty, jealousy, and such.
Hopefully I’ll keep improving my interpersonal skills and have better balance.
This did not go thru last night, so let me try again…
I have ALWAYS found myself in triangular relationships, despite the fact that I prefer one-on-one close connections with people (Pisces Sun/Scorpio Moon). Not crazy about groups, either- too energy sensitive and empathic for that! As an only child until age 7, I was a in a triangle with my parents (so I can relate with Jennifer) until my sister came along, but we didn’t really do anything as the 4 of us, so that created 2 new triangles between me, my sister, and one of my parents. This dynamic became tragic and ridiculous (the one between me, my Mom, and my Dad), when I was 10-11 (and developing breasts, pre-puberty) and all of the sudden I was “the other woman” to my mother. Her jealousy about how close I was with Dad completely drove him away and even turned him against me by the time I hit puberty a few years later. That mess, I’m sure, set me up for sexual and emotional abuse from boys/men from age 13 on… My father is a Scorpio, and I still have a weakness for Scorpio men, although I always end up getting emotionally devastated for one reason or another. Talk about history repeating itself!!! Argh…
Venus in Aquarius in the 12th house, square Pluto in Scorpio in the 8th.
I was involved in a triangle recently. Me, and 2 guys, were all three best friends. They both had feelings for me, and I had slight feelings for them both.
Good or bad, right or wrong…I cut them both out of my life. The kind of tried to team up against me, but, eventually, saw the faultiness of that.
I give someone freedom to interact with others, but when they take it too far…I’m out. Goodbye. Don’t pass go. Don’t collect 200 dollars.
No one is really innocent. Point taken and appreciated. Hope they all get an equal pay cheque from Karma. I think it’s pay time now given satnep are manifesting finally. Fear, paranoia, betrayal, double cross all check. Imma grab some popcorn n watch the same show, I was playing alone 6 months back.
The Drama Triangle is the one that intrigues me in relationships – persecutors, victims, heroes and the switch for payoff.
I’m very good at avoiding taking on a role. If it weren’t tragic, it would be funny seeing certain people stretch themselves further and further out of shape trying to get me to play.
Now that’s maybe what I need to do. Pay attention to how I am drawn in to that hypnotic crazed state of theirs that then becomes mine. You see my banana anywhere? I gotta stop thinking about this.
Have a read up on the Drama Triangle there’s lot on Google.
Find new responses, rehearse them, try them … “Oh dear, your banana is missing. I do hope you can find it or get a replacement.”
Then see what feelings come up inside of yourself. That’ll give you an indication of what your payoffs are.
Have a think about how that relates to growing up or even the relationship between your parents. Most likely this was learned in childhood.
I am filing your recommendation in my nut brain for future reference. For now, I am with the mantra ‘Don’t feed the ghosts.’ I have been prone to do direct confrontation to no avail. Ghosts are hungry and must be fed and will settle for nothing less. I took a bold step the last time I confronted what I thought was a ghost. It was actually an entity. And man oh man did the entity get angry. Crap was flying everywhere.
About the bio unit, there was a secret I found out about very late in life. There was indeed an entity that grew out of that. The thing about an entity is that it has a life of its own. It was already there when I arrived which I am thankful for even though it could be a real pain in the arse. My younger sister and I were outside of it. My parents made sure of that. So while we both felt somewhat left out, we came to understand it was a gift. The two of us were my parent’s children, not possessions of the entity.
I actually think this is more about venus pluto. But I am not going to get between the possessed and the entity. That would be the triangle I suppose. Thanks for the feedback.
I’ve got Pluto, Uranus Jupiter, south node stellium in fifth house square eight house sun so I simply love them. I love to love (with strict boundaries – I’m married and that’s First) but I’m fascinated by human intimacy in all relationships (8 house merc trine Pluto in fifth) and the emotions that get churned up. I’m not innocent and have suffered jealous rages with work colleagues and intimate highs with them too, all for social projects connected with the suffering and helping them.
I loathe triangles but I still get caught up in them. Matter of fact, I loathe having Venus/Pluto. I just can’t let go of shit even when I need to.
I used to get involved in triangles. And I’ve had to work my way out of them. I’ve been on the wrong side of every kind of triangle- friendship triangles, work triangles, people triangles, etc. I’ve learned that the root of some of the negative triangles has to do with me not honoring myself and enforcing stronger boundaries. So as I find myself in certain uncomfortable situations, I remind myself to ramp up the self esteem and the triangle will dissipate. I end up in triangles when I let 2 other energies be stronger than mine. I’ve had some positive triangles lately and I would like to keep that effort going until I feel solidly capable of one to one interactions. In love, I need only one.
I try to avoid them. But it is very easy for me to get snagged into them as much as I curse other people for doing it. I just saw Criminal Intent Vincent episode where his character dealt with a murderess who separates people as a means of developing a bond.
The one I am trying to break is the bonding with someone who feels victimized by someone or something. It’s just their complaining about their present situation and blaming another thing or person. I get so easily suckered in sometimes. And it always ends up taking me down. They don’t want a solution or improvement in their situation. I am not real clear on it. Just writing it I feel my eyes spiraling around in my head like some kinduv tranquilized monkey. Where am I, what’s going on? I’m lost. Has anyone seen my banana.
I have natal Venus in Capricorn squaring Pluto in Libra. I don’t compete for men, I figure if one can be led away easily, better he’s gone.
Hate em. I think you get a more honest and unfiltered story when that person knows you’re objective. And vice versa. I would never be friends with both parts of a couple for instance.
My tight Pluto Mars square loathes triangulation. My tight moon Neptune square laughs in the former aspect’s face. Seems there is always more than two people in a bed. Orgy of the damned.
Have venus sq pluto, alot depends on the signs and houses involved as to how the scenes are set for the expression of this aspect. Having issues with this aspect over the years, you learn to accept the drama that may happen-and also clear it up as quickly as possible when it erupts-it is not always a soap opera, some 3rd parties may become significant relationships that require a serious choice by the holder of this aspect. Never a dull moment.
i watched trash tv like Jerry Springer all my life since childhood Cancer-Venus square Pluto!!! I love that show. I judged everyone on there for cheating all the time and swore I would never do that. Hah, karma kicked my ass for judging those people on tv for all those years. I was involved in train wreck love triangles back to back for five years straight. Because my Venus was on the MC. It was always at the work place. I never loved anyone so deeply than the ones I worked with or worked under ? i turned my pain into a career to help others find healing in those situations because I’ve been there. So essentially I’m kinda like Jerry right now, getting paid to hear the craziest love triangles. Never a dull moment indeed.
I’m Scorpio, with Pluto moon square sun and Venus. For over 20 years in relationships I had triangles, painful ones. Not so much now, since I’ve done a lot of work on myself.
I attribute it to my father, (Scorpio moon, mars in Gemini ) as his father repeatedly accused him of not being his real kid, the rumour oft repeated, and a huge slur on my grandmother, was that she’d slept with her brother in law, and then given birth to my dad.
Meanwhile, I think it might have also been my grandfather’s guilt or projection, because he was a player. This is also, I might add, in very religious family.
When I had reading with Elsa, she suggested Moon Pluto carries the family shadow, and for sure I feel this is true. Growing up I was v attracted to my boyfriends brothers, my now ex husbands brother put the hard word on me once, ( he was into black magic and said he’d been sending me messages through a candle) luckily he lived overseas and I only met him that once. Once was enough. There have been other instances, but I’m stronger in myself nowadays TG.