There is another angle on that Venus Neptune painting piece I want to flesh out bit for very specific purpose. It is the mention in there of HQ’s vote of confidence in our relationship.
The soldier and I were facing a very hard road if we were going to find a way to come together. For example he had to live in a truck for a year while I had to drive all over the country in support and to maintain the relationship so really, how many people are going to do that for each other? Virtually none.
To embark on something like this we had to BELIEVE. It took copious amounts of faith and maybe you can see how important it was to have HQ state his belief if we took this hard road it would lead us to happiness. That one statement kicked me into a higher gear and what if he’d said something otherwise? What if he’d said something cock-blocking, hmm? Something to undermine. Where do you think we’d be right now?
My point, fellow Venus Neptune people, Venus in Pisces people, Virgo Sun and rising people, Neptune in the 7th people, Venus in the 12th people is this:
That old adage about lying down with dogs and getting fleas is true as all get out for people like us. You simply have to discriminate who you associate with because if not you’re going to be done in. Make no mistake, you WILL be sacrificed as will your love.
I am coming back with a real life example of this but meantime, let’s hear from other Venus Neptune types.
Tell us of the love you lost courtesy your lack of boundaries…
I dated a guy for four and a half years and didn’t meet his mother . . But I loved him. I loved him into the ground and up to the sky. I moved cities. I stayed at his house twice a week (trapped in his house in hard core suburbia with a forty minute walk to the store/gas station) even though it meant two days a week I couldn’t do anything but go to 7/11 and sit and wait for him to show up so we could go out for a few hours. I still love who I thought he was even if I’m more aware that I probably was deluded. I don’t think I lost anything. Just shocked and as realisations trickle in now, its still kinda surprising to me how bad things were vs. how well I thought they were. I just plain loved that guy.
As for waking up with fleas . . in March a friend I thought I was close to suggested we move in together. She was in germany at the time, so I did all the leg work searched for an apt in the constraints we had, and then ended up needing to sign for a place alone. And the vitrol that was unleashed. Whoa! I spent nearly a week feeling like a horrific person, and people would tell me again and again that it wasn’t my fault and this stuff happens, and then finally someone said “It doesn’t sound like she ever had a very high opinion of you” and by god! what a revelation . . saw her last month and she was all buddy buddy again and I fell for it til I got home . . Whoa! Whoa!
My big problem is missing the obvious love. Whoa! Who’d you say loved me? Are you sure? I don’t think so . .
I married an abuser and tried every day for a very long time to get him to love me right. Doesn’t get more lack-of-discrimination, lack-of-boundaries than that.
In my current life, I try to run every association by a trusted advisor, like HQ is for you.
Yeah, I’ve had to put a kabosh on all advice coming in. Now, I’m slowly deciding who I can trust…
It is slightly different for me. Venus 12th, Neptune 8th.
I have pretty much have loved some people for their potential rather than their reality. Usually this is love I give on a spiritual level. Or, just delusion. Different people call it different things. I’m not sure. 😉 (But they miss me when I’m gone.)
I do relate to what Foxxy said about missing the obvious love. Venus Neptune doesn’t think it is quite as romantic to define love as having someone hold your hair back when you are sick.
Luckily I have Saturn to complete that Venus Neptune trine, so I do alright coming out of the fantasy.
Virgo Moon and Asc here. I didn’t lose my last love, he lost me. And although it was more painful than I ever could have imagined, I am now thankful it went the way it did.
I so understand what Heather said about loving the potential in someone. I still feel that way about this Libra man, but he is on a path right now that is causing him to become flea ridden.
He told me once his life is empty, and I understood, but it is by his own choosing. Once Pluto is direct and back in Cap, he will be having Pluto square his Venus again and then in some time Pluto conjunct his Moon. It is a potent time for him and I really hope it isn’t as painful as I think it might be for him.
I went through the depths and horrified myself at how negative and base my emotions are concerning rejection in love. I think I was meant to look at that and really accept who I am. So I guess he assisted me in that aspect and in a strange way I am thankful for that.
All my life I have been compulsive about understanding the why’s and how people act the way they do. I am just as compulsive about analyzing myself. It is a never ending process.
If anyone is interested in synastry and would like to assist me in understanding this relationship, I would love to hear from you.
… well, there’ve been CBing friends.
and that one thing i lost because i hadn’t learned how to build boundaries yet (and was in my second saturn square, to boot)
It’s funny that you write this – because it became clear to me recently that I have boundary issues. The main issue is that I can’t SEE the boundaries. So I have no idea when one is crossed (until I’m passed it).
At times in my life I have been, I think significantly violated. And in truth, because I never saw what happened – it’s always been confusing to me if I “allowed it to happen to me” (and it’s all my fault) or if it was “done to me” (I know there’s some Virgo / Pisces dynamic in there).
Venus square Neptune
Venus in 12th house
Venus in Virgo
I’ve been going through a very painful experience with this recently. In my head I know I’m being severely violated somehow, but I can’t see who’s doing it. It’s like being raped in the dark.
I’ve noted your advice. Any more?
How do describe colors to someone who can’t see? How do you learn to drive a car in the corporeal world, let alone a life if you can’t see the corporeal world? It really scared me the day I began to sense how much I was missing that everyone else could see. [And what it took for me to finally sense it – you don’t wanna know!]
Venus in the 7th in Pisces. The love I lost is every love I’ve ever had because he couldn’t live up the the fairy tale love I had in my head. I’m in love with every man I meet. And some girls too. I need too learn to avoid the FLEAS.
Hey Charlotte – me too Venus 7th Pisces and yea I see the divine in everyone and have been severely taken out in my life. This year I moved and my dogs kept getting through the fence and off to mischief. I spent a month fixing the fence and during that time I fixed my own boundaries too. Now with the Saturn Sun conjunction in my 1st house I really know that I have begun to master myself – to contain myself and my emotions and to have good solid boundaries. WOW….many years acoming.
And Elsa, on lying down with dogs and fleas thank you. It really is vital who we share our important thoughts and quests with……”No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.”….Agnes de Mille….with a little help from ‘good’ friends who truly know us.
Venus in 12th and perhaps opposite Neptune, but the orb is quite wide. Yes, I do have boundary issues. I have a problem with recognizing and accepting the very fact that boundaries exist. Both mine and other people’s.
As for sacrifice… How about having to kill (yes, I’d call it this way) your unwanted love for someone so that he wouldn’t amputate you from his life because of your feelings that were too strong for him to handle? That’s what I had to do a couple of years ago. I think it’s partly Pluto/Moon, but Venus in 12th too.
Im sorta in the same boat. Loved someone deeply. He had boundaries issues and was going through a painful burndown. Betrayals. Heartbreaks.
Now the tables are turning he is finally rising up…coming out of the ashes and ready to move on at top speed…dragging my heart along the payment in bits with smeared blood…like roadkill being dragged on the highway.
I guess I had so much faith in him and gave so much to help him through, I never gave up. I guess I didnt see why he was down there for a reason…and that maybe instead he could give up on me quite easily.
I guess God thought it a riot bringing him into my life when I was most vulnerable. Like Ceaser enjoying watching a Christian being torn by a lion. I can just hear God snicker…
Neptune in the 7th House. I can agree with Heather on falling in love with anothers potential and not what they actually are. With age and practice, my boundaries are getting better.
Consciously choosing to stay our of relationships is really good for strengthening myself.
Neptune aspects everything in my chart and is the ‘focal’ planet of my fixed T square and have been an artist, a drunk etc.
Virgo sun, Venus in 12th (conjuct pluto)
Not sure if I’m the kind of person you meant, but I’m well aware I romantacize people and have illusions. I have boundaries like walls- at least superficially. Once someone gets close, though, I tend to meld with them, which drives me crazy. Either all or nothing in the boundary department.
I was raised by a woman with Venus in Scorpio, Virgo rising/Moon conj. Asc. and Neptune in that same house. She had gas-lighting down to a science. I spent most of my life scared and frustrated that I’d always be on her bad side. (I have Ven/Nep squared) But this recent Pluto transit to my moon has changed that. Don’t care what side of hers I’m on as long as there’s a clear division between us–like several states!
Elsa, I love this post;-) FINALLY somebody who understands the concept of “sacrificing” for love- let’s see:
I’m a oisces(born 12 march, 1981) Venus:sun:Mars _ all CONJUNCT in H6 (virgos home)
With Libra rising 7 degrees.
All my pisces planets SQUARE NEPTUNE in 0 degress Saggie- unrealistic relationships seem to be all I get, ironically, what others might deem impossible- I make it happen by sheer FAITH: as you say!
My boyfriend is.Aquarius Sun & virgo-Libra 0 degrees rising
I have always had a penchant for military types- this is my 4th relationship with someone distant bc of work or home (my moon is H9).
Current bf is 3 years younger, from England + in the Royal NavY- how appropriate for me- well, we get to travel a lot + christmas time will be our 2- year anniversary.
Many people were against it for obvious reasons but we feel we are soul mates- his moon in aries sits in my 7th & my mars-sun sit on his 7th.
Venus/Neptune here…and I lost 2 loves because I was listened to the wrong people. I seem to attract cock blockers…though I am now taking responsibility for that. There was a time in my life I thought it was easier to take the path of no decision, no responsibility and everyone knows me better than I do. But no more.
I can add my two bob’s worth here. With Pisces Venus in 12th and Libra Neptune in the 7th, abusers came in all colours and brought out the worst in me, but never an abuser – I couldn’t but I shouted a lot. About to leave number 3 at 63 I’ve decided to go back to living alone and this time feel ok about it as all my creativity is bursting through and I need more time to study astro without “feeling” (cancer moon 4th) the critiscm.
Okay, wait a minute: who is HQ? A while back I somehow made the wrong assumption that HQ was the technical manager of this blog!? So… it’s actually the soldier? 🙁
Athera, ugh, I have all the placements you listed. And you’re right, I am completely confused by boundaries, the nature of love, and so forth. And yeah, I do fall for people’s potential rather than what they are. But… what does that even MEAN anyway?
::floating away again…::
Ah, I just read the linked post. HQ is the soldier’s boss. Pretty straightforward, really.
Wait: NO it isn’t.
I should stop posting comments until I have some caffeine.
The soldier is my husband.
HQ is a friend, he also edited my book. he does tech stuff but his brother, the Mechanic is more responsible for that where HQ dreams things up. The Mechanic built the Dispatch for example. HQ did the boards but when he runs into trouble or things super sticky, he taps his brother.
I am freakishly fortunate to have both of them in my life. There is no way this blog would be here without them. I just don’t have the skills.
No, HQ is not the soldier’s boss. HQ and I met in 2001 when I first started blogging. He encouraged and edited my book and also launched this blog for me. We are friends.
His brother got involved / started pitching in a few years ago because HQ asked him to.
The solider and HQ and the Mechanic have never met although HQ lives near the soldier’s son and is going to buy him a GC for Christmas and get it to him for us.
In other words – these are my friends!!
Oh, so I was more or less right the first time! Of course I know the soldier is your husband, I just got confused at the rest.
::removing Mars Libra foot from mouth!::
On a Metaphysical level, no relationship (good or bad) is happenstance. It serves an important mission in our soul growth. So operate with grace and take the experience for what it is, a deep and profound lesson in growth.
No mistakes. All lessons.
I have yet to find someone I love. I have Venus in 12th and Neptune in 10th. So… I’ll meet my loverboy when I’m famous? LOL I read this article where venus/mars in the 12th house is related to asexuality, which may describe few of you all who have venus in the 12th house with, delusional relationships. No harm though.
Exactly. That venus, neptune, pisces delusional relationship thing in my experience is about fame, ethereal, delusional, muse like. No way to be taken seriously. The slippery fish swims away, never gets caught, big easy. The Pisces burn.
i always thought i had a 1sthouse venus,so when i wanted to realllly make sure, before my mother passes,or dementia takes over; what time exactly was i born; she’s positive quite early.thought my 12th house moon contributed to the pace of choosing bad men. then i saw i actually have a 12th house venus,no wonder. it makes so much sense. i thought i was this ‘special’ 1st house venus. now i understand why i choose bad men in the past. its so textbook. i read in one article among countless, that whilst no problem finding people to attract; it’s the ones that i’m attracted to that are a problem. i almost cried at that. its awful placement because its so delusional.now i’m with a good man but it was a lonnnng loong road of unhappiness and abuse. also i chose someone to “fix” that’s my virgo so the combination is terrible. i am happier with men who actually have virgo in their chart and they to me because we both have virgo. thats my experience. my husband’s father is a virgo sun and he married 2 x women with virgo in their personal planets. one lasted to the end. And my sister with her virgo sun man. she’s virgo moon.
I relate. My boyfriend 7th house neptune conjunct his north node see’s me as an apprentice that he will equip with practical life skills. His mars Pisces in the 12th is conjunct my north node. He’s 12 years older than me and somehow his vision of what I am was realistic after 14 years of me agreeing to to learn those working skills. We are caretakers on a beautiful property. We do the most undesirable jobs together with the benefit of not paying rent and having a place for a garden. I’m virgo rising- I’m a serf. My pisces north node in the sixth does not sit idle.It squares my Gemini Sun in the ninth. I guess we are both self effacing for others. Not glamorous, but it’s nice to find a fit with someone challenged in the same way and making a career path out of it.