Venus & Mars – How Do You Negotiate?

libra-bakelightI have Mars in Libra. My husband has Mars in Cancer. There’s a clash there.

My husband does not like how I negotiate things. With Mars in Libra, I try to work with others. I try to be fair. He sees the person he is negotiating something with as being on the opposite side.

Logically speaking, he’s right. But with Mars trining Venus, I’m generally successful at coming up with a deal that everyone is happy with.

This is so important to me, if someone wants to fight back and forth over every dime, I’d probably take it as a sign and walk away. I just don’t like unpleasantness without cause. It literally makes me sick.

My husband and I resolve this by having one or the other of us work a deal for the family. We’re both fully capable of handling any negotiation, so long as we we don’t team up!

Today, I advised a client how she could negotiate with her husband in a way that would be effective. Specifically, I suggested she frame her request in this way:

“I know you care, so….”  And then she can state what she wants.

This is a lot better than, “You have to do this, because if you don’t I will feel bad…and blah blah…”

The ability to sell something is one of the best skills you can have at this time. The skill to negotiate is right up there as well.

People like to blame others, that’s for sure. But if you constantly fail to get what you want, it might be your people skills that are lacking.

How do you negotiate? Where is your Mars? Does Mars aspect Venus?

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Venus & Mars – How Do You Negotiate? — 26 Comments

  1. I negotiate by putting myself in the other persons shoes (Pisces Mars) & playing fair (Capricorn Venus). Works well, mostly!

    No, they don’t aspect each other…

    • I have Mars in Pisces and Venus in Cappy too! Trying to figure out a style that works well negotiating with sellers at estate sales. I keep worrying about what is fair and my Mars in Aries husband gets so frustrated with me 😉

  2. LOL Venus in Virgo, so I want the facts laid out for me so I can take my time. And Mars in Cancer…so if you start messing with me I get a bit annoyed. Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes. And if I don’t want it, don’t push me. My husband was Scorpio Mars, Scorpio Venus, and he was good at selling, but not at buying. And if he didn’t want something you were selling he would flat out tell you.

    • Actually I don’t think I need help! It is hard to be me but I work it. I make my living in sales and I negotiate by listening really really well and ‘being’ the other person, divining what they most desire and showing them how their wise choice will give it to them.
      That said there are many times I choose not to negotiate at all and walk away.

  3. Mars and Venus in Aries:
    I win! Or I walk.

    The universe has been educating me over the years on the un workability of that approach so it has evolved into my Libra MCs pov – more of a highly energetic:
    I really want to work it out! Right NOW!!

  4. Mars and Venus in Libra…I want every one to be happy but that includes me. My husband has Mars in Capricorn and Venus in Scorpio he doesn’t mind if you are happy just as long as he is. He agrees with me and then does his own thing. I believe him until I don’t. We are so at crossroads and hairs at all times.

  5. Venus (and Moon) in AQ is charming and rational, wants to stay friends, and hopes that something will work out while also being very opinionated. Mars in Scorpio is intense and determined, but prefers to lurk and then retreat. The wide square amps up all those qualities. In spite of being a nerdy late bloomer, I definitely have what I would call courtesan energy (sacred priestess in former lives, according to what I have been told).

  6. Mars conjunct Venus in Sagittarius. Mars also conjunct Mercury and Sun and those three are conjunct the ascendant.
    In other words, compromise what’s compromise? just kidding 🙂

    I like to make the compromise palatable and attractive for both of us. I used to go for the “win” but now that I’m older I know that winning a battle doesn’t mean you will win the war. My husband says I’m exceptionally adept at “framing” a compromise in such a way that he has a hard time saying no to it. He has Mars conjunct Venus in Cancer.

  7. Negotiating has changed over time. Mars in Leo conjuncts Saturn and both conjunct Pluto. I really have to see what’s in it for me. So … the universe has given me a life where the other side is mirrored for me all the time. When I worked as a professional negotiator it was my Scorpio-Merc-Sun square to Mars that got things done. I went deep, saw the weak spots and was a voice for the underdog.
    Now, age and vulnerable health means detaching from the always win position. One day at a time.

    Venus does not aspect Mars in my natal chart.

  8. I have Mars in Aries at 13 degrees, currently being hit my Uranus_ I’m like that Alicia Keys song “That girl is on FIREEE” Hahah- I ain’t negotiating- I am just tripping myself out. Too much energy. Trying to be careful not to impose myself too forcefully actually. I do try to listen to others- I’m gaining a lot of wisdon by listening. So right now I negotioate by listening as best I can, IF I can be still long enough, then saying AHA- and going from there… New insights everyday.

  9. That’s the same tactic as I use, Elsa. I usually say, ‘You’re brilliant at this, and…’ next thing, the person is rolling up their sleeves to help. They know their efforts will be appreciated. Venus in the 7th, conjunct Mars in Capricorn.

  10. Mars in Sagittarius 12th house and besides a conjunction to Sun, it’s unaspected.

    Ambitious and insanely competitive, but I never let people know of it, playing behind the curtains. Sometimes I lack the willpower or do not have the energy to do stuff.

  11. My Mars and Venus don’t aspect each other. Mars late Virgo, 1H and Venus in Capricorn 5H. Mars conjuncts my moon and it trines my sun, out of sign. I want you to like me so I will try to make it a win-win situation, trying not to put you out too much. Trying to overcome my inner desire to be apologetic.

  12. ‘my husband does not like how I negotiate things’ . . . a gut buster. 😀 It’s just so what it is. I guess the flat out matter of fact is so what it is it makes me laugh. Honesty is so rare.

  13. I have Mars in Virgo – and yes, I’ve been called the “b” word in my day. But Mars, sigh, makes a wide (8 degree orb) square, to Venus in Taurus. Translation: if I’m not doing the “critiquing” in my relationship(s), I inevitably attract the partner/boss/family member who will.

    What’s noteworthy, though, is than when my progressed Mars entered Libra a few years ago, I’ve become less “b” and more “c”, as in conciliatory. My progressed Venus is also sweeping through Cancer, and made a sextile to my natal Mars. During that long span of time, relationships became more fluid and there was a lot less friction in my life.

    Being such personal planets (Venus is the strongest planet in my chart), I think I really “feel” V&M in a huge way, on a day to day basis.

    And by virtue of the natal aspects they make, considering the progressions, squares can turn into sextiles or vice versa.

    I’ve just watched them very closely for my entire (love) life and there were times when I could move forward effortlessly, like I had the support of the Universe. And, times, when I had to navigate through some very sharp and unexpected turns.

    But, ultimately, there are just way, way too many variables to these personal and powerful planets, that I watch tend to watch them closely. Almost weekly and I definitely feel and see the changes, so I act accordingly. Not to mention the fixed stars they are conjunct to. But that will one day be a book.

    Hope I didn’t confuse this lovely blog. Now, if that’s not progressed Mars in Libra of me, what is? 🙂

  14. Mars in Pisces Venus in Taurus, softens Sun in Aries. Now that I’m older, calmer, and hopefully wiser, my negotiation style on the personal level is to be a good listener, validate the other person, and have a ‘lets work together’ mentality. In business, it’s key to know what’s most important to the other person, and work from there…because in that world, no one really cares what you want, rather the concern is on what they want. The skillful negotiation comes in making them want what you want!

  15. Mars in Leo. Sorry, the “queen” does not negotiate. My Venus in Cancer will negotiate only after you took your bath, changed your underpants, did all your chores, and finished all the dinner I cooked. It’s a weird combo this Leo and Cancer.

    • LOL…you have me laughing at that Cuspy. The Leos used to drive this Cancer nuts because they came in and wanted everything but did nothing. I have since come to terms with Leos and now can laugh with them and have learned to get along with them. But before this I had a real problem. So I can really relate to what you say. We have a Leo Cousin who always wants the party to start on her time, comes in late and wants to eat right away…while us Cancer Cousins have set up the party and worked all day. Can make for some fireworks at times…but now I laugh at it.
      I am really enjoying reading how everyone feels their Mars and Venus work, and am learning a lot.

  16. Mars in sag and venus in cap, I can get impatient with people, but have learned that being fair negotiating always pays off in a positive way.

  17. Mars in Leo. Get it done, NOW.

    Not very subtle, eh? But if they (“they” are usually my kids) complain, I say, but you want this all clean and neat and nice, don’t you? That’s Venus in Virgo.

  18. Negotiating, like sales, is an art to perfect. Libra is a great salesman/woman as long as the balance beam isn’t set too low. Happy Selling!

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