Clinging to an ex-lover? Gah. I wrote this for a client with Venus in Scorpio. She’s got an eye on an ex who crushed her, AND moved on:
“If you were supposed to be with him, he would be with you post Saturn in Libra. Instead he is sucking your energy.
I would take the hook from my mouth and walk away.
Find the power to do this, you have a new plan…and he’s not in it.”
Are you also clinging to a corpse? Trying to resurrect the dead, ignoring reality? It’s dead, it’d done, move on!
Here’s one of my classic videos. I hope it help!
Who here is pining for someone who’s left the building? Please tell me why.
good one !! I like your advice 🙂
Very wise advice. This is why I love astrology, and Saturn in particular. He makes things pretty clear.
Oh, yes, and I did my freaking pining. When Saturn in Scorpio moved through my 4th the first time, I was really stuck on someone from my past. He spent a little time in my 5th, but then retro’d back into my 4th. I think the retro period is when I finally stopped pining.
Oh please let this be the case for me. Saturn in scorp is starting into my 4th and it brings whole new meaning to pining. I hope this goes away once and forall when Saturn leaves my 4th.
Well, in my case it’s the other way around. Knowing that someone I suspect might have been pining, in some level, for me, has definitely closed that door, feels good too, for a NN/Venus/Uranus in early Scorpio person like me.
“If you were supposed to be with him, he would be with you post Saturn in Libra.”
This just opened my eyes and made me *see* my Saturn-in-Libra in-between relationship with the man I used to think of as the ultimate One under a whole new Light. I had my fair share of pining, but thankfully I moved on — best decision ever.
As of the Venus-Saturn conjunction — so far it brought the return of a very important man from my past with whom I had a very close relationship – albeit not a romantic one (we were almost there a long time ago, but that’s another story). It was always more like a teacher-pupil thing (my role being the former). He’s a Virgo with his Sun on my South Node. After all, it feels good to have him back in my Life.
Sadly I’m still pining for the corps that left the building in April. Everytime I feel I’m on the right path there comes the ghost again… We still have some money issues to resolve. It’s pretty damn hard to take the hook of my mouth and swim away like the good little piscis I am.
I hung on to my corpse for almost two years. We’ve recently begun talking again and it’s nice to be friends. We have a lot of friends and family that I refused to give up when we broke up, even though it made it much harder to disengage. I notice now that there really is nothing there anymore between us, and while that makes me a little sad, it is a relief also. I still care, but I have no intention of going back to what we had – and this makes it easier for me to move on.
One of my favorite videos Elsa! Love your style. Short, bittersweet and no bullshit, to the point. Your delivery is well received because of the way you smile when you say it’s dead, just accept it, cut your losses & walk away. In relationships I’ve always looked back. I’ve been the one resurrecting & letting myself be used. Funny what happens when someone like me says “NO” and means it…people suddenly looking at me like i have 2 heads! I’m single, by choice. Wouldn’t have it another way. I am a damaged person. What right do I have to take my damaged self and merge with another damaged person? I don’t want to do that. I’m selfish and set in my ways, i like being free to go & do what i want when i want. If there is someone out there who is intelligent, can have conversation from A-Z, is funny, spontaneous, generous warm caring GENUINE, well i haven’t met all that in one person. Not yet. So, yes, for gods sake, if it’s over, it’s over, get over it, walk away, just close the coffin first.
My ex. texted me today saying that the girl he’s seeing (my friend) is great but he’s in love with me. After 2yrs. I thought we were past this!! I even started thinking,” h’m, maybe he’s grown up abit and im definitely stronger, perhaps we could try again”. So I call my friend to check her feelings. Well she’s blown away!! They had just had dinner and a make out session lastnite! Awww, he just sucks…Always having to line up a girl before he leaves a relationship. Then he had the gall to say it wasn’t my place to call her. OMG** Btw…He’s a Sagittarius and were both Pisces 20 yrs. apart.
Christina, if your ex is saying that to you while he has a new girlfriend, he is emotionally unavailable. It’s not possible to have a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable – so you can feel sorry for your friend. Why don’t you completely cut him off so he can’t f*ck with your head anymore? I did this with my ex (it was the only way I managed to move on), although I must warn you that he might double his efforts when you do that. And then, if you are anything like me, you’ll have another one of those “hmm, maybe he cares” conversations with yourself. Nope. It’s his ego that cares about the fact you’ve shut the door. If you open it even a crack he’ll be wiping his dirty boots all over your carpet again.
Oh man, Elsa. I’m busted. I spent 2004 to 2009 a hopin’ and a wishin’ and a prayin’ that I would move out of the friend zone with a fantastic guy. It never happened and then I spent 2009-2011 really trying to heal. I’m a clinger to what I imagine/fantasize can be. I vowed NEVER to do that again, and yet I just did the same thing. I have 4 planets in Taurus (stubborn). Clearly I need to reprogram my heart. Or better yet, schedule one of the readings you offer where you can tell me what I need to do differently when it comes to choosing guys. Thanks for the post and video.
I love the look of the new website.
Haha-easier said than done. I hope a certain someone never thinks of me again and I will try my damnedest to do the same.
I hate this feeling.
Opposition Moon-Pluto, Venus in Aries square Neptune, Taurus/2nd house dominance: Just a couple of examples why I have fantasies. Sometimes I don’t want to change them. The person I dated left me (I have abandonment issues) 11 years ago. I’m in love with the idea of him. He matched my schema and was the missing father figure and role model. I had the opportunity to hang out with him 8 or so years ago, but I didn’t want my fantasy of who he was to end. I know I’m not AS obsessed anymore, but I need an inspirational someone to look up to. It may sound unhealthy to some, but everyone believes in someone god-like.
Possibly beacuse the conjunction is hitting my Venus but the relationship and the aftermath that had eaten up the last 8/9 years has finally been cremated, there is not even a body to bury anymore. Lesson learnt. Not a slow process however as it all started with my Saturn return, which then promptly hit moon, sun and now venus, but I got there in the end.
This is the best advice Elsa and should be taught to girls in school. Especially ones like me who find it difficult to detach because they are all earth and water.
Oh Boy!!! How timely! Finally after almost exactly 3 years (Sept. 21 2010) of obsessing over someone I barely knew I am DONE. It’s been on it’s way out of my mind and heart since the beginning of the year but always seemed to pop back in and drag me down again. I finally said to myself, “what did this person ever bring that was joyful to your life?” There was about a year where I was hoping to connect with this person on a personal level but he was unavailable. This whole experience has taught me so much about my own capacity to fall in love with the idea or hope of someone. It’s been torturous but it woke me up to my own b.s. I’m so happy to be done with it. Nobody is worth that kind of pining….nobody.
It is very good advice, but when you tell yourself over and over how stupid you are being and then find that that corpse is the first thing that pops in your mind when you wake up ..or when sitting at a traffic light , any time your not extremely focused on something..the mind wanders there! how do you stop? and when you focus on not thinking about it..that’s thinking about it!
I think I’m done with it too!:D. It’s like I can feel OTHER stuff again! It’s pretty amazing.
I am so busted and so exactly where there …. yeah there where you say in your article … when I finally remove the hook, I will be a much better person for it, especially to myself, so I don’t beat myself up anymore! Thank you I love your commentaries … they are so me!
Hahaha… I’ve got Venus Scorpio Rx and yet it my ex is still here. He broke up with me just before Saturn moved into Scorpio and I was crushed, devastated and all that shit in between. And its not like I can’t let go I can but I just think about the history, can we call this negotiating with myself. The funny thing is that I’ve met a Taurus sun, 10 years older than myself, who I like but don’t actually want to show it and he’s got his baggage (children) and sometimes I can’t help wonder if it will all turn out the same with the damn ex who lied through his teeth and say nothing about his children until I was on my back. What if this and what if that…
Ahhh, I should really get rid of the corpse to be honest. He was round my house on Saturday and he was talking on the phone and something said to me that I should just move on cause he’s giving his life so to hell with it. No need to save friendship for some idiot which says they’ll always love me such a shame he can’t do it properly. Grrr
Sorry, peeps, there is no blanket rule for any of this. There are many valid reasons for revisiting an ex and some of them end in reconciliation. It’s tempting to think that another better person solves things, but in my opinion this advice to move on and sever ties is one of the reasons divorce is such an epidemic. Fixing what is broken is legit, especially if there are kids involved.
My ex and I are a quincunx connection, Virgo- Aquarius, me with an Aquarius moon, him with a Virgo moon. We have 5 kids, 24 years, a powerful attraction, merged money and businesses, and we are each other’s only family, and only chance at a whole family in this life. If your heart says go, it’s worth the risk to go for it. Like my son told me when I started moving back toward my soul mate: Bold move, mom. You’ll either win big or fall hard. I’ll take the odds.
I have natal Venus conjunct Pluto and mid-heaven in Scorpio and conjunct transiting Saturn in my 9th house! I have a list of past exes who I can never get over!!!
No as bad as I WAS! But still have his work cell phone number with text we exchanged last February. Hmmm..time to ——> DELETE!
Done, done, done. Actually ready to sign the papers and move on! Briefly pined for another past while I was feeling sorry for myself for being left but realized I did not want to be a corpse …I want a vibrant, living relationship!!
U Double airhead?
my ex and i have most of our natal planets conjunction with one another except for our moons (mine is in cancer his is in leo) and our mars (mines in cusp of pisease/aries and his is in aries). what makes things difficult is that our rising signs are opposing one another. At this point I have Pluto/sun/rising sign in scorpio and saturn in scorpio transiting my 1st house. =( he has taurus rising and saturn is transiting his 7th house where his sun/pluto are. At this point i wanna let go but he comes back, first in my dreams and then shows up either at my front door or thru text/phone call. i wonder if the opposition in the houses AND the conjunctions in the natal planets create this such a binding relationship. does anyone have this type of synastry with someone? Or can some one explain this type of synastry?
Incredibly timely. Libra Sun, Cancer Rising, Venus in Scorpio who is still trying to move forward after losing my Aquarius Sun, Libra Rising, Moon in Cancer husband of 35 years in a car accident 22 months ago. To top it off I met someone 3 months ago who met every one of my criteria … except the one where he’s looking for someone like me. Now instead of pining for one, I’m pining for two. Feeling very overwhelmed.
Thank you Elsa. Happy to find this place.
Thank you, Elsa.
Why still pining? Sun-Pluto both ways (conjunction, sextile), Sun-Neptune both ways (sextile, conjunction), Venus-Saturn both ways (trine, sextile), Venus-Uranus, Lilith-Mars conjunction, Lilith-Moon conjunction.
We’re a huge, tangled bundle of energy, and even though she’s with someone else presently, she can’t stand having me say “goodbye,” or be with someone else.
Fortunately, I’m Scorpio rising, Mars in Scorpio, N. Node in Scorpio, Moon square Pluto, so I’m very familiar with the energies.
Slowly extracting myself from the situation, taking the lessons, minimizing the drama and reactivity.
Probably will always wish it might have worked out, but it takes two to tango.
Articles like “Get rid of the Corpse” have been a useful reminder and prod, Thanks.
How would you interpret the venus/n. node/saturn transiting 5th house, opposite na
tal moon in taurus in 11th? would this speak of strengthening a commitment or breaking one up? this is a 30+ year relationship ending, as well as a 28+ year marriage? having trouble burying the corpse…..
I remember that. This happened to me big time.