Venus And Self Esteem

VenusWhere in the chart is the key to self esteem? Well, the Moon shows our needs for emotional satisfaction, but esteem, the word itself, is more closely aligned with valuation. What we find valuable relates more to Venus, though these issues can often overlap. Venus is associated with partnering and romantic love, but if you look at some of the expressions of Venus in myth you can see desire for pleasure that is divorced from morality. This is so because Venus “values” are not necessarily moral or ethical, they are merely what one finds appealing, what one desires, what brings pleasure.

Morality and ethics are more associated with Saturn, judgement and restriction, Jupiter, philosophy and higher thinking, or Neptune, inspiration from outside oneself. Venus energy in its pure form is without morality. It’s not immoral, it is amoral. That is literally neither good nor bad. What we value is not right or wrong, it simply is. When it interacts with other planets and energies in our chart it acquires a link to a moral construct. But on the subject of self esteem, let morality go for the moment.

Venus shows us what we find attractive and what we attract. These are ONE THING. Venus is also involved in projection. I’ve heard it said so many times that what we find attractive (valuable) in others is what we really wish to be or have for ourselves. Venus is acquisitive. If we don’t embrace finding or creating what we want in ourselves, we will often find that same trait or quality in others and seek to acquire it in that way. If we project this desire for value, we can become possessive of the other because loss would mean leaving a hole in the self. If we cultivate our Venus within ourselves, no one can take that away. Then our partners become tasty bits of cake and frosting which we can truly enjoy, rather than the whole meal that can never fully sustain us.

If we apply morality to a Venusian trait within ourselves and deem it “wrong” there is the propensity to dissociate ourselves from that quality. But we cannot root out the desire. What then is likely to happen is we find that quality in others and reject or berate them for it, more projection.

Self esteem is just a made up term for the condition of a fully realized, non-projected Venus. Your Venus qualities are not just what you find attractive; they are a description of what you must embody, value in yourself, in order to truly find pleasure. Your Venus attributes are already there. You just have to stop rejecting or projecting them.

I’m okay, you’re okay, blah-de-blah-de-blah. Did someone mention cake? Now I want cake.

Where is your Venus? What is valuable and attractive about you?

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Venus And Self Esteem — 56 Comments

  1. One thing- I thought self-esteem was about the sun?

    I rag on Venus a lot, because it’s hard to know when to say no with that energy. Something about the planet makes me very uncomfortable, at least intellectually. I think it’s the amorality you mentioned. It can seem a little creepy and disgusting (venus conjuct pluto in my chart, heh.)

  2. very astute. it is. it is one type of self esteem or one part. the ego is powerful. your ego traits and how you address them are one type of self esteem. but if you look for the literal translation of the term, Venus holds sway on that level.

    I think I know what you mean about being uncomfortable. embracing and accepting who you are doesn’t mean you have to express it in ways you find unacceptable. πŸ™‚

  3. I’m not quite hitting my mark with what I want to express… sun is self, but venus is esteem. perhaps it would be better put as a combination if I’m trying to fully flesh out the term. but that’s a lot of words!

  4. Interesting. Sun is part of grand cross, which I experience as me not being good enough according to THEM. But Venus is trine Jupiter /Asc & I think I’m quite good enough according to ME.

  5. that pic is one I took of my sister when I visited her in San Diego to see her in a show at The Old Globe. She had just shed a bad relationship and was about to meet the man she would marry. doesn’t she just look ready to attract something good?

  6. bahahaha, Chelley! that reminds me of something my daughter said when she was a little…
    “you have a big heart mama…”
    “aw, honey…”
    “I can tell cos you keep it in your belly!”

  7. Comfort. At the end of the day, I want a good meal, a familiar lover, and a warm bed. Home. A sense of belonging somewhere. Says Venus in Cancer.

  8. [DISCLAIMER: Yanno I lurves ya, Satori, but I got triggered. I trust you won’t think of this as an attack and I hope no one else does, either.]

    See, I have a problem with this post that starts with the line, “If we project this desire for value, we can become possessive of the other because loss would mean leaving a hole in the self.”

    While I can agree with this in theory, it’s just not really that practical for me. I have Venus conjunct Mars and Pluto, in Libra forgodssake, at the base of my chart; trying not to be possessive is what puts a hole in my self! And, having sun-Saturn conjunct (in the 2nd!), I already and always feel like there’s something wrong with me anyway. *BIG sigh*

    So I read stuff like this and feel all wrong (harsh Saturn) and repulsive (Pluto), when I’m obviously wired to be just a smidge (ha!) possessive / jealous in the first place. Denying that impulse / instinct leaves me feeling like a shell, whereas if I give in to my natural feelings I. am. a. POWERHOUSE!

    It may be base, it may be unenlightened or unevolved, but it’s how I’m made, man… and going against that seems to be a worse crime against my values / esteem than trying to pretzel myself into a merely adequate specimen.

  9. I am also possessive. πŸ™‚ there’s possessive that comes from who one genuinely is and I wholly embrace that. sorry if I didn’t make that clear.

    I know I’ve felt different types of possessiveness directed at me from other people. some of it feels bad but some of it feels gooooood. I sure do miss the good kind. πŸ™‚

  10. I think the difference stems from using the word possessive. maybe acquisitive would be less triggering? when you’re stepping over embracing a trait in yourself to get it in someone else, I’m talking about objectifying the other person. “object of desire” rather than “person I desire.” if someone is possessive because they adore me, one thing, if they’re possessive because I’m an object to be owned and controlled, another.

  11. emphasis on “object”. some people desire to be controlled and owned and [everything under the sun in its own place]… not casting a judgement on anything except not genuinely seeing other people as PEOPLE, not objects.

  12. AHA! “if someone is possessive because they adore me, one thing, if they’re possessive because I’m an object to be owned and controlled, another.”

    Makes perfect sense to me. πŸ™‚ Thanks, satori!

    Honestly, I don’t know if there’s a less-triggering word one could use instead of “possessive.” *smiles* Possessive and jealous seem to be inextricably linked in common parlance and both are demons to be exorcised in the woo-woo world. The positives are rarely talked about (articles on this blog being a notable exception). Even if there were a word that would be less problematic on my end, I prefer people who are authentic and use language that’s natural to them — a.k.a. I may not like what you say, but I’ll defend your right to say it. πŸ˜‰

  13. I’ll have to think on what the astrology would be… any suggestions on the angle? my opinionated nature seems like little to go on. πŸ™‚

  14. Pluto always gets pointed at, and having the double-Venus hit makes him my go-to boogeyman (of course).
    Honestly, though, I think every sign (and every person) gets possessive of something! It’s a 2nd/8th thing. Right? We all gots one of each. πŸ™‚

  15. *BING* LOVELY!

    I don’t like sharing my dessert. if you want half, let me get another plate and I’ll put half on your plate. sheesh!

  16. *lol* I don’t mind sharing dessert — off the same plate, even — but don’t go stealing my thunder (Leo 2nd)!! That spotlight is MINE, dangit! πŸ˜‰

  17. my last date was memorable in the fact that I ordered one glass of wine… I had some during the food, but most of it was still there at the end of the meal, because I was saving it for after. well after the dishes were picked up he picked it up and drank it. I was stunned but kept it to myself cos I get pretty tired of looking crazy.

  18. “… after the dishes were picked up he picked it up and drank it.”

    O_O
    ZOMG, DIE!!! I mean, at least ask first! Geeze, Rudeness.

  19. in my chart, venus and the woman who lobbed the prize “for the loveliest” into the wedding are the same. how’s them apples? ;P

    but yeah, now that i’m focusing more on “being that” rather than “finding that” things are moving much smoother. it’s just an odd archetype to accept that deep under the skin.

  20. Wow! And I thought I could be a creepy date… I don’t know that I buy Venus having primary responsibility for self-esteem anymore than I buy the Sun being solely responsible for self-esteem… but I do buy that it’s interesting to think about… you write very convincingly on the matter and have a wonderful mind…

  21. I recognize my mother in my Venus placement. I’ve an 11H Gemini Venus and she was a detached, social butterfly who squared my deep 8H Pisces Moon.

  22. i love the picture. i really appreciate that you all take the time to find pictures that encapsulate what you’re saying in the posts. it matters!

    glad you told us the backstory. i thought it might be a stock picture or something because it’s that perfect. she looks very free and happy. i can see why she attracted the good stuff!

  23. Resonating with the Venus-Pluto thing as mine are conjoined in Virgo in my first house, so self-esteem fits! But I also have Moon-Uranus conjunct my Ascendant in Leo, so there’s as much pushing away as attracting. I’ve had a lot of intense relationships with noncommittal types! Fortunately I found a good balance of possessiveness and freedom with my current bf. πŸ™‚

  24. Satori, I just decided my comment about you having a wonderful mind is a little creepy and didn’t exactly capture what I meant to say… how about instead saying that I find you to be an insightful interesting writer?

  25. Dr. Z, “you have a wonderful mind, Clarice…” πŸ˜€ so not creepy. it was quite a compliment. thank you. now if you were considering how well it would pair with a jammy shiraz…

    but you’re right about self esteem. I’d say it’s a component, a type, this Venus stuff. the whole picture is necessary. I can’t put my finger on the actual language yet and sometimes I write to try to find it.

  26. Coming in late here…Venus in possessive Taurus in possesive Cancer’s house but conjunct Uranus in Gemini in fifth and square Mars in Aquarius
    in 2nd. Comfort eater who longs to jump with a parachute.

  27. If you would/could put all of your posts into a book, I would buy it Satori. I don’t trust trying to find your wise thoughts archived somewhere, when I need them most. What a great reference book it would make. Anyone else think so?

  28. But a book of this kind, would have to be something you and Elsa do together, because the comments, yours and others’, flesh it all out, and would need to be included. I love this blog….

  29. Very late, but thank you for answering my question. That makes total sense and I get it now! Maybe sun’s not too much “self esteem” (how you feel about yourself) because you’re too busy living out your sun (or you ought to be.)

  30. “Your Venus qualities are not just what you find attractive; they are a description of what you must embody, value in yourself, in order to truly find pleasure. Your Venus attributes are already there.”
    This is great. I needed to hear this. I have Venus in Aries, and I always absolutely adored this and all its characteristics (bc I have such a lack of fire in my chart), but I felt bad for not feeling able to express this part of me, I wasn’t even sure if I actually had that Aries in me..
    Then I found out my Saturn is also in Aries, so it explained so much of my unhappiness and rejection towards myself, for being so “gutless” to express that fire. Now I know I have it in me, and I must express it in order to feel happy abt myself. Thank you sister β™₯ xo

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