After writing the Venus Saturn about not marrying the soldier when I was a kid because he said he be killed, I realized the gal who did marry him did so because he said he’d be killed. And this would leave her with his life insurance plus his pension until the end of time.
What a quirk that is. It’s also textbook Venus Saturn. In one case he is denied love and in the other he’s got a business deal. Her love is actually an investment while he traded security (Saturn) for relationship (Venus).
And this seemed okay to him by the way. She gave him a baby and was home to take care of him so he thought she was entitled. He accepted the situation completely, thought it was the price he paid for his career and just a reality of life.
“I just figured I was a soldier and soldiers don’t get to have wives like you. Price I had to pay to do what I thought I was supposed to do in this lifetime. And so what if she cheats? There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not there, I’m at war. I’m getting shot at and I have to watch my ass. So if she cheats she cheats. It’s her integrity at stake not mine. And maybe she felt entitled to because I wasn’t around. I don’t know. I just know I accepted it. There is not much love if you’re a soldier. It’s not like you’re a rock star. You’re a soldier and no one likes soldiers very much. They just don’t like them so I figured love was out of the question. It’s just too much to ask.”
I didn’t answer.
“I always felt lucky that you loved me even though you were gone. At least I’d had that experience. At least I’d had you for a girlfriend and felt what it was like to be loved by a woman and that’s why I held onto those memories all my life. Of course I’m not going to let go of them, those were the best times of my life. Every minute I had with you, every second was the best because I knew you loved me.”
“Yeah, so once when I was in training they had me tied to this log. They starve you through training. They only give you one meal a day, work your ass to the bone, tie you to a log, do all kinds of shit to try to get you to quit.”
“Yeah, so I’m tied to that log and they’re sitting there eating steak.”
“Yeah, steak. They sit there and eat steak in front of you and tell you how good it is and you’re there all starving… starved for weeks, you’re dirty, you’re tired because they won’t let you sleep either. No, they keep you awake and try to taunt you into quitting so there I am tied to that log and you know what I was thinking?”
“I was thinking of us in that first apartment. We had so much fun there, P. And to hell with them. They can eat their steak. They can torture me until the end of time but they can’t take my sweet spot.”
“No. You were always my sweet spot and no one can ever take your sweet spot. Not even you, P. Even you can’t take my memories of you.”
“I guess not. I understand/”
“Yeah. Even if you decide you’re never going to talk to me again, we were there in that apartment and we had that love. We shared all those kisses and everything else we shared and all of it was wonderful, so yeah. You bastards can eat your steak with the juice running down your face while I’m lying here starved and tied to this log. But you won’t get me to quit because while you do that, I’m going to go hang with P and there’s not a thing you can do to stop me.”
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I don’t know whether to laugh or cry . . . if there every was a man who is loveable, it’s this one, IMO.
oh my heart! my dear, is this man ever so loveable!! Elsa, I just love reading your blogs. LOve it love it love IT!
The soldier loves you Elsa and love is really the best feeling we can have – there are different kinds of love – we can love a friend, a lover, our children, our pets – is love that makes everything works.
I just love what he said: “At least I’d had that experience.” 🙂
I feel that one too. Does Venus Saturn give a higher value to past experiences?
So he did a business deal with the other gal – what about her? She had her deal and her benefits too…
Wow. I don’t have Venus/Saturn (rather Venus/Uranus/Pluto), so I couldn’t imagine trading love for money, like this other woman did. Then again, I’ve always been super-romantic (a 5th house Leo Sun and 5 planets in the 5th/7th houses), so people like this and their attitudes will always baffle me.
Just curious, Elsa, did you ever do the ex-wife’s chart? Whatever became of her?
Lis – she’s a Libra with Venus conjunct Pluto in Virgo. She has Mars, Mercury, Neptune conjunct in Scorpio. They were married 16 years and she’s around. Not around him, but alive and so forth. 🙂
this is making me cry. guess i’ve been awake too long 🙂
I must have missed this before. It’s making me cry now!
Never read this before. This is so sweet. <3
(That’s a good sigh. I don’t think anyone has felt that way about me.)
Taurus felt that way about his ex, who left him years ago. He claimed to love me, but I’m not going to get into what went down… your husband is sweet, and I think it’s lovely that his memories kept him going through the crap.
I don’t know how to interpret “!!!” 😀
I don’t have that much relationship experience. At the moment, anything sweet where he was concerned, has been eclipsed (no pun intended), by everything that has happened in the past nineteen months.
I just don’t think anyone has been in love with me – actually head over heels in love (or at least admitted it to me) – in that way, and at this point, it hurts, but I’m still happy for others.
Okay, now I’m crying. I’m really hating Neptune, right now (current;y square my Moon). And a certain Taurus.