Venus And Mars, Love And War

mean_girl_385x261.jpg“You yelled at me on our first date,” the soldier said. “I should have known you were a mean girl then.”

“I yelled at you on our second date too.”

“Yeah you did.”

“So I yell at you on our first date, you get up in the morning and ask me if I want to be your girlfriend. I say yes and then I yell at you on our 2nd date. You must have been thinking why did I ask this girl to be my girlfriend.”

“No I wasn’t thinkin’ that but I should have been!”

Ten minutes later, we were talking about Charlton Heston having been married for 64 years. “Maybe he lover her,” the soldier said.

“I think I could love you for 64 years,” I said.

“I don’t doubt that. Had you married me when we were 19, I think we’d be married for 64 years.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Too bad you wouldn’t answer my questions about throat cutting.”

“I answered your questions the best I could.”

heston_wife.jpg“Are you going to do cut someone’s throat and if so, why? It was a fair question.”

“I told you I was going into SF because it was my destiny.”

“Whatever. Wish you could have told me nicer back then.”

“I was nice.”

I shrugged. “So we missed 64 years. Why do you think we get back together now?”

“Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. That’s why and it doesn’t matter how mean Panizzon tries to be.”

“Me? You’re the mean one.”

“Me?” He blushed. “How can I be mean, I’m wearing plaid!”

I just shook my head. Mean people don’t wear plaid. Y’all remember that, okay? When out profiling, all plaid wearers are excused from line up.


Venus And Mars, Love And War — 3 Comments

  1. ah, well, maybe you’ll live to be very very old. you don’t know for sure. even if he’s blind and hugging the burro for dear life. weirder things have happened. 64 years is a heck of a long time though.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *