I have been thinking about people who poison others, particularly children, at the root. I touched on this in 2009 and it was a popular topic, A Personal Story Of Poisoning. Today I want to take a broader look at this topic.
As a society, we undermine our children in various ways. In some cases we tell them they are downtrodden or set upon. We tell them that life is unfair. We train them to be victims.
Alternately we tell them they they are automatically terrific and no particular effort is required on their part because they’re just so damned cute and special.
Some tell their children they’ve got some vague malady that is actually a projection. The last thing we tell is that they can (and should) overcome whatever obstacles they encounter in life.
We don’t tell them that this is their responsibility.
We don’t tell them that if they fail to do this, there will be price to pay as they simply won’t develop as person.
We barely tell them to try and almost never tell them to try hard.
I encouraged my children to meet all challenges and to conquer their fears. I told them to set the bar high even if everyone around them sets their bar low. I told they that they didn’t have a problem. They have a life you can live with flair. Why be dull, when you can be keen? Why be boring when you can be happy, interesting and inspiring?
I feel bad for these kids who are getting these jacked up messages. We need heroes right now and we need them bad.
Does the message you send your child empower them…or undermine them? How were you raised?