Threatening To Leave Your Relationship – Video

I want to start a series of short videos designed to help people improve their relationships.  First up – Security!

Do you threaten your partner’s security?

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Comments

Threatening To Leave Your Relationship – Video — 12 Comments

  1. This is really great advice.
    I think some people don’t realize how destructive that type of behavior can be.
    You say it so well! Who wants to invest in a bank that’s going bankrupt, or stay in a sinking boat?

  2. Elsa, so glad to see you still looking fabulous!
    Great advice. That kind of talk is manipulative, used to create insecurity.

  3. My Dad should probably have seen this video when we were kids.
    I think he threatened to leave us approx every week or so.

    In the end, I lost all of my respect for him and left HIM instead.

    Fast forward to my first relationship where I was constantly afraid that my partner would leave me. Well, in the end he did. But it was a good thing. Our values were never aligned anyway. And I needed to grow the F up and grow some balls and backbone at the same time.

    Now, I am in a relationship where I am not taking the other person for granted (at least – I am trying my damnedest not to), and I really WANT this guy to be my man. I WANT to commit to a future with him, I WANT to be more than his girlfriend one day. I know he feels very good around me, and that is probably where you need to start – does it feel good to be around them? That is probably because they make you feel safe and secure!

  4. In my situation, the person I depended on financially, would tell me to leave constantly when I went against their wishes or stood up for myself or my child. They knew damn well I could not leave, so it was just a way to reinforce power over me. Basically I couldn’t win and I was repressed.

    All I thought about was finding a way to leave.

    So telling someone to leave has the same effect fyi.

  5. I’m still with them. They don’t do it anymore, now that I can actually leave… hmm howabout that? Proves they never really wanted me to leave. But I still haven’t forgotten how that made me feel. I will never forget it.

  6. good video! i hate those type of people who threaten to keep leaving. and also those who threaten to leave if they dont do this or do that. it is exactly like investing into a bank that is going to fail completely 100%. what kind of psychological trauma that causes and pain. its disgusting. and that’s not love at all. I always admire and look up to those couples who stay through the hard times and the good times through financial ups and downs and never threaten eachother for psychological bullshit and pain. They just push on through and even sell their jewelry if they have to, or sell their material things. or find ways even if it’s working a minimum wage job or out in the hot fruit or vegetable fields for getting by; i guess its idealistic, but i know for a fact there are people like that in the world; my grandparents were that and my husband’s grandparents. Weirdly both our parents didnt have good marriages and they always threatened to leave with all that psychological trauma and bullshit. His parents actually left each other decades ago, if not, he’d keep on cheating and taking the money and run. and some people are just much much happier alone and living their life trauma and psycho babble gas-lighting free. I see that in my mother in law, she is free from that and has alot of money and had a good career but she has admitted to being lonely. But compared to being married with the emotional pain and threats and cheating, its much stress free and less crying your eyes out all night. on the other hand, its too late for my parents, but they are too old now to keep bothering with any threats. Just fight every so often but the fights make them exhausted fast and worn out due to weakness and old age.

    • although my mom mumbles to me how she regrets marrying him. and wishes she didnt and left him long ago. but she had many chances but didnt. She always said it’s because she didnt want us to be fatherless. But frankly i think she just didnt want to be alone. She didnt even want to go back to her parents when she was young enough (in her 30s and 40s when they were still alive and young and she could make a new life of her own back then) but i think too it’s the shame of divorce. Shame and keeping up appearances i think. Not for us. because it’s truly about fear of being alone. and that she can’t make it. my mother in law probably would have stayed even through the cheating but he was the one who left and found another woman.

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