This is one of those things I hate saying because I wind up pissing off legions of people due the fact I am talking down them… or rather something they have done or may do on a regular basis and in a negative way. Matter of fact, I think this is how I so reliably avoid success. I think it’s because I manage to piss off everyone eventually however, I just can’t help it.
I can help it of course or I could help it but to do so would make me some kind of poser which is anathema to my soul so I just willingly, knowingly walk this plank as a matter of routine and for a very specific reason.
My reason is that I know there are young people out there who want to know how to live and I mean, live well. There are older people who would also like a key so I feel compelled to state this stuff when it comes up, while I simultaneously wish it would not come up. But today it has.
All day long some gal has tried to name and post nasty stuff about her married lover of 3 years in the comments of my blog. Apparently the guy was fine when he was doing what he was doing with her but if he’s moved on – then he’s got to be tarred and feathered and burned to the ground and here’s is my (unsolicited) opinion on that:
It is very low class to sleep with someone for years, tell then you love them and whatever else other promises you made and then break up and go bad mouth them. Never mind what they did, you are out of your mind if you do not think this reflects on you.
At best people think you are an angry psycho but more likely they think you are lying as people with sense know they are only hearing one side of a story. And your supposedly generous offer to fill us all in on the shadow icky stuff about your lover (while apparently oblvious to your own) is not seen as generous but as deranged and just a little scary.
What’s worse is as often as not, you actions leave people feeling sorry for your ex and probably thinking that he (or she) was damned lucky to get away from you and I am willing to bet this is not your intention. Here are the facts:
You will never turn family or real friends on a person. You will be a laughingstock though so please. If you are 20 years old and you’ve never gone off the deep end like this, then do yourself a favor and make a commitment right now, you will pay your own bill. That means if you get involved with someone and your judgment was bad then own it!
And if you’re 30 or you are 40 and still behaving like this, for Godsakes get a grip.
When it comes to relationship, do you pay your own bill?