“Is this the hill you want to die on?”
“Choose your battles.”
Those phrases are commonly used these days. They have value but I want to take a deeper look.
The things that irk my husband and cause him to react are rarely things that irk me. Many things that infuriate me don’t bother him much, if at all. We run up against this difference between us all the time.
It’s hard to know what drives another person. But I’ve spent time considering what drives my anger and what I realized may surprise you.
“My husband cheated on me, so I don’t trust men anymore…”
“This makes me mad, because this happened to me…”
Many people say that X happened to them and therefore, Y. I don’t see it being a factor for me. I don’t think it’s factor for my husband either. We’re both strong characters and not going to be easily moved and manipulated by some outside force.
I become very angry when someone tries to make me go against my principles.
I go ballistic when a person thinks they can control me and force me conform to their standard or their principles. I will knock your block off for this. I will toss you into the next state, never speak to you again, and just in general, treat you the way I would trash.
How’s that for a reaction?
I have Mars conjunct Mercury in the 9th house. Er…clearly.
“Just imagine someone knocking on the front door, to tell me that what I was doing was wrong and from here on out, I would have to adhere to a new standard, they would set for me,” I said my husband. The scenario is laughable yet people do this.
If this were to happen to my husband, he’d be amused. If this happened to me, I’d be eyein’ my baseball bat and thinking about swinging it at your head. Set you own standards, ya jerk!
What enrages you? Can you tie in the astrology?
I have Mars conjunct Merc too- they’re opposed by Pluto & Uranus. I get pissed AS at similar. If I’m not bothering you, then DON’T hang your ideas on me & DON’T expect me to play by your rules “just because”. Who tf do you think you are?
Anyone wants to put me in a box is sorely mistaken these days. I’ve got T Uranus on my Moon!
Yeah, man! It boggles the mind!
Yep… & you said it… makes me INSANELY pissed off!
Mars conjunct Mercury in Aquarius in the 4th opposite Leo Moon in 11th… don’t try to embarrass me in public and like you guys, same deal… don’t tell me to conform to your standards and DON’T disrespect my home or (God forbid) my mother. Someone disrespecting or upsetting my Mama sends me into a blind rage.
aargh!!!that’s the kind of treatment I received as a child…it emotional roots prevented me from fully developing a personality of my own since now(cherchez chiron…).one of the most serious damage you can come across in your family,along with physical violence.and what I found out is that in my very core I react exactly in the way you describe!(uranus and jup opp sun and mercury,sext moon)
Virgo Sun square Capricorn Mars. “You have difficulty discerning the difference between assertion and aggression.” (from my chart reading). I recently had a person approach me that would like to “work” for me. Yet she came in asking that I apprentice her and Give Give give to her. When I told her no she then went on to tell me how to run my business. I was fuming. How dare her tread on my visionary Aquarius moon that sees what others don’t years before they manifest and are mainstream. The audacity of her to tell me how to run a business I have put my heart and soul into for 10 years. I simply “fired” her in my mind and decided that I will not let her take up rent in my head or space again. See Assertive? vs. Aggressive?
Cap Sun conj. Mars, also Virgo Saturn conj. Moon. My work is very important to me. If I think you are getting in the way of my work, I will cut you. This really is the fastest way to piss me off, bar none. Even the worst betrayal takes me a small bit of time to process before the fire starts. But with work, I’ll shoot first, ask questions later, and have no regrets about it.
Calling my honor into question makes me pretty angry too, but it’s a distant second.
It’s interesting how everyone seems to have a very pointed answer to this. I think it’s cool.
I was just feeling those insanely pissed off feelings last night. Don’t mess with my family!! I’m a mother lion (Leon in Mars)
whoops … that would be leonine rawwrr!
For me it’s my home and family. It is easily tied to my cancer stellium (sun, asc, merc & mars) but with merc & mars on my asc in my 1st in cancer, in tight sextile to pluto, just don’t go there 🙂 Also children and women who are the underdog or can’t stand up for themselves, but I have learned to help only when asked, can’t fix someone else or their situation if they don’t think it’s broken,
I become very angry when people I am close to speak ill about me behind my back.
I have mars conjunct neptune in the 5th.
Oh I get this now. My cardinal placements. Moon and mercury. I get mentally and emotionally set off. I’ve curbed it, on the rage front. I think I can use those placements better.
Too bad it’s not as easy as straight honesty.
I want to tell people “stop putting your shit on me!!!” People have a way of making you accountable to their problems. If I’m nowhere near the vicinity of your issues and I have repeatedly made it known that I don’t want to be involved don’t drag me into it. To all of my exes, I didn’t cause your neediess, or your selfishness. I gave what I could, and I made myself clear about what I could give you. It’s not my fault you didn’t want to hear it so stop making me pay for your inability to accept the truth. Also, stop making me the victim because you can’t handle seeing your own flaws! I can’t tolerate that shit in anyone.
OH and fuck society for telling me I’m not allowed to be angry or express my anger at obvious injustices. I get mad that I have to hide my real honest feelings because I’m afraid I’ll offend the wrong person when in reality, I’m not attacking anyone I’m defending myself from another’s attacks! How insane is it that I’m not allowed to protect or defend myself??
Mars square Pluto, 12th -3rd. I want desperately to express my rage at the appropriate targets/moments but I often can’t bring myself to it because I can’t really find the best words or connect to it in the moment.
I have quite a long list lol but the major ones are – changing the rules arbitrarily and/or unfairly.
Messing with my family/home/country.
Messing with a person’s religious beliefs or rights.
Bad leadership really gets me but I’ve really had to work on my reaction to that during the past 10 years. I used to watch a ton of c-span but can’t anymore.
For me, it’s any time someone tries to explain my own life or perceptions to me.
“No, that couldn’t be what happened. You must have misinterpreted.”
“Well the reason this happens to women is…”
“No, I know you like pork.”
I absolutely lose my shit over this. Leo Mars. Don’t tell ME about ME, motherfucker.
Do not dismiss me or make me invisible.
Do not run your agenda at my expense.
These are things that will cause me to excise someone from my life. Well, if they’re family members they get whittled down but so far not fully excised. I agree that sometimes it’s just a person’s nature but I also feel that, as with all character traits, their expression is molded by life experience. Scorp Sun/VI, SagMoon/VII square Pluto and square Uranus, MercScorpio/VI T-square to SaturnAquarius/X and MarsVirgo/IV. Just don’t piss me off…
“you don’t own me” esp to employer but also to any husband who might have tried to make me change my name (never happened cause they “got” me). Aspect:
moon (ruling the 10th) opposite uranus (ruling the 5th)
Pick on people your own size or pick on me but don’t be a bully. That makes me insane! And as for me, well, don’t try to box me in. Ask and I will do my best to accommodate, tell and good luck getting me to do anything.
Mars in Cancer. Do not fuck with my family, and do not try to manipulate/control me.
A mars/sun conj (but I’m not sure it counts as the sun is 2 degs past mars) in pisces opposition uranus in virgo. For myself its call centre staff. The most stupid, evasive, manipulative, devious, that are also stubbornly-stubborn and thats just for the sake of it, that one could come across.
Mr T – could you confirm your name mr T. Mr t please confirm your name!!
I am not putting the phone down on you, but I’m ending the call!!
Mars in Libra conjunct Uranus and Pluto in the 8th. Injustice is a thing. It used to bigger than it is now. But, only because I realized I don’t have the final say on what is fair and what is not fair–it’s a pretty subjective call. Bullying. Yeah, that triggers me and always has.
I don’t like to be told what to do. I don’t like to be manipulated. And, FFS, don’t tell me what my motivations are or tell me what I feel “You are doing this because of x,y,z and you think t, u, v ” The steam starts rolling at that point. I don’t need anyone’s projections and can think quite well on my own…thank you very much. LOL..made me mad just talking about it.
Hmmm…this is a tough one. I don’t tend to get enraged…okay when I’m in a crappy mood and people drive like shit…but, hey, I live in Florida, lots of tourists and old people but even that has become nothing to get wired about. This kinda feeds into your other post…mood creates reaction sorta thing. Really, honestly, my rage was expelled when Pluto crossed my moon 3 years ago and I just now, within the last 4 months came to the end of buried emotions..i.e. rage. I can be fucking snarky or pissy though, but enraged? I think I emptied the well on that one. I’m exhausted. I’m at the start. Now I know I must do regular maintenance in order to not get to the point of rage…for me it’s a sign of backed up emotion. kind of like constipation. You’re not really getting enraged about this it’s really this sort of thing. anyway…..
Okay, here’s some ways to avoid incurring my wrath 🙂 :
Don’t try to sweet-talk me into anything.
Don’t yell at me for breaking a rule I didn’t know existed–especially if others around me have seen me violate this rule many, many times and SAID NOTHING!
Don’t preach at me about how I ought to feel about or view life situations or people. I don’t always share your opinions!!
Don’t put me in an awkward position by forgetting to tell me stuff (“Oh, I thought you knew I had a doctor’s appointment today.” “Wait, um, excuse me??” Yeah, thanks for telling me at the last minute!
Do not, do not, DO NOT pressure me or push me to do anything, especially in a big hurry. My Leeb and Taurus planets will be itching to drop-kick your ass!!! And then tell you to kiss mine.
Being talked down to – Mars in Leo.
I have this Mars by progression.
having someone else contradict my sense of identity. too many people (women, mostly) have tried to make me into their idea of their younger, innocent selves over the years (and while mom may have had more right than most, she was not the last… and she’s grown out of it.)
maybe i’m getting too old for that to work. dunno. i still look younger than i am.
That’s a funny problem, in a way. But only because it’s not mine! 🙂
I think this has more to do with the current transits than my natal but I can tell when I’m being manipulated or others are being manipulated into either saying something or accepting something that largely benefits another person’s ego or motives. Everyone does it, and if you think you don’t you probably just aren’t aware of it. I know I have done it.
Basically its when someone tells me what they think would be good for me because if I do that thing it will help them. If a person is upfront with their intentions I generally comply. But if they use sneaky means like talking loudly about what they want from me because they know I’ll hear it, I get so annoyed that I just can’t stand to be around them for a while.