People think I’ve totally lost it. I met a guy online from Malaysia in September and we connected in every way. Better than with any male or female I’ve ever connected with. Yes we’ve exchanged over 50 photos each, and we’re on the phone maybe 2x per day, and have spoken to each others’ friends.
I’m a high energy person and so is he. Whenever we take photos we’re both making silly faces, from the time of 5 years old. We both have the same values regarding marriage and long term commitments, and he’s willing to move to Toronto. I’m going to stay with him for 3 weeks in December and will also meet and stay with his family for a week. Never mind love at first sight, maybe love on first online.
What differences can I expect when I meet the live person? I’m trying to keep my expectations at an even keel but it’s difficult. And it also seems he’s a true Scorpio and I’m a pretty true Leo, although I’m older now and less egocentric and don’t have to be acknowledged as the King as much. Also I’m very spiritual and a great listener and have learned to bend over the years. Any opinions Elsa?
Canadian In Love
You sound very happy. I am happy for you and I don’t think you’re crazy. Matter of fact, I think you’re fifty years old and by now you know what you want.
I am also aware of more than one couple who moved continents for love with good result, and considering that along with the fact the friends and families are involved and you do not have a chart that shrieks, “This person deludes themselves,” I am going to take your question very seriously.
People who meet online get in trouble when they leave out enormous chunks of who they are. It’s so easy to edit your life. And although it seems you are both communicating in a way that is very authentic, the fact is your relationship at this point is still a stylized version of reality. You could compare it to an airbrushed photograph. It’s real, but not really.
And to be very candid, although three weeks is not three days, I am pretty sure it’ll be a whirlwind and this is the bottom line:
You are not going to know if you can function in a relationship with this man on a day to day basis until you are functioning in a day to day relationship with this man. And that means he has to move, if this is what you’ve decided. And if that happens, the thing will be real… for real.
And you will have to deal with his crap lying around. You will have to accommodate his actual person. You will have to cope with his moods and quirks, the fact he does not clean out the bathtub and vice versa. He will have to cope with you.
So I say, go forward. And you say you can bend, so I would exploit this talent by bending over backwards to expose this man to as much of the real you as possible. In other words, lose the girdle. Tell him, “I am this fat, I smoke this many cigarettes, I binge on ice cream, I gamble…” and whatever else you may not be reporting. Encourage him to do the same and good luck!
See, this is the kind of stuff that keeps me coming back for more. What great advice!
AWESOME!! Elsa, you just rock. I cannot find better words for what you do for people.
I am a long time believer in astrology, at this point in my life, I dont want to be. Here’s my story. I am in the middle of a divorce, I have been separated for 3 years, I have my 17 year old son with me. I lost my job in July, and I am still looking, but totally lost. During my separation I ran into my FIRST love. She is a Scorpio, and I am a LEO. I always have loved her, all this time. She is divorced and has two sons, 29 and 17. We have been together(sort of) for over 2 years. We totally love each other. She is my soul mate. We are both 46yrs old. At this time in my life, I am a lost soul, trying to find out how to survive. We do not live together, and that has been hard on us both. We know its coming, and we are both scared, we dont want to loose each other. But I have to get my life together, and she has been so supportive, but it has drained her emotionally, and physically. We both got tatoos that say”Sometime”..this will all be right. I know I have to let go…and my horoscope for next year,says the same thing. Please advise, we both know I have to…. I’m so lost.
I live with this little credo: I pretend I walk around each day with a little bird on my shoulder. It says to me: David, this could be your last day on earth.”
Thinking about that really changed my life. Within a 3 month period, my boyfriend dumped me, I lost my job of 22 years, and my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. I lay in be depressed for 2 days. But then I remembered my bird. I stopped proscratinaing, and did things today..NOW! I was earning 100,000 a year. This gave me the opportunity to persue my dream as a golf teacher. Than I met a new guy (when I was ready) who is awesome! My mom is doing OK. I’m making 25k as a golf teacher and learnt how to downsize, live a bit simpler, and I didn’t worry about the future.
I’m trying to say, I didn’t allow fear to overtake me, and I did things today. So move in with her unless you don’t love her. If she’s your soulmate, move in today. Then you’ll be more positive all pieces of the puzzle will come together…Promise.
Hi Elsa, I met a scorpio man (I’m Scorpio too, we are 10 days apart) and we dated and got to know each other online over 6 months. He kept pushing for me to fly out to meet him in another province and eventualy we agreed to share the costs and I’d spend 2 weeks with him. We had an amazing connection, incredible intimacy, fun getting to know each other and 2 weeks went into 6 weeks and he didn’t want me to go home. We chatted online twice a day when I got back, missed each other and he even said love you in a message. We were making plans to go to Mexico in December to meet up again. Then he just stopped contact, sent me an email and told me the distance thing won’t work, he doesn’t want me, just put up with me for 6 weeks, isn’t attracted or turned on by me (didn’t stop him sleeping with me at every available moment) and wants to end the communication. I’m devastated as he did and said the opposite when I was with him and afterwards and I fell hopelessly in love with him. He is worried about his financial situation. What did I miss and how coud he just flip the switch on his feelings for me? Is this a defensive move to protect himself because he did feel more than he wanted to and he feels the distance or did he just want sex from me? Is there a chance he’ll come back and make it up to me. He says he is dating actively but his lifestyle doesn’t fall nto that in te area he is in. Is he purposely hurting me to protect himself or is he testing me and will bounce back when he is ready? I’m very confused and hurt.