My ex said we can work things out! We were together for 8 years. Yes we both cheated but he says he didn’t cheat!! He moved out and we didn’t talk for a month. We are now talking again but he will not come to my house. I have to go to his house; I have to be the one to call him. I don’t get it why he will not come to my house or call if he wants to work this out? I feel like I’m trying but he is not!!
I send him romantic text messages, leave notes on his door – he says nothing about them!! I feel like I’m pushing him away!! I’m confused on what to do to make things better!!! I have told him by now he should know what he wants to do we have been talking for about 2 months. He’s been living on his own for 6 months! His answer was he has no plans!
I take it as he really doesn’t want to be with me and if I don’t call or go to his house, I would never see him!!! I told him if he has no plans that’s like telling me your not thinking about being together! What am I doing wrong? What should I do? Please help and thanks for your time. I am very sad and confused!!!!
You are not doing anything wrong. You are trying to get back together with this man; however he is not trying to get back together with you. And I don’t care what he said you could work out, you have to look at his actions. And they are telling you very clearly is he does not want to be with you… at least, not at this time.
I don’t know if he might want to be with you in the future and he may not know this himself, but if you want to see progress I would suggest you back off and I mean, all the way off.
Tell him how you feel in simple language one more time. “I’m sorry, I love you, I want this and that…” and then tell him you are going to leave him to figure out what he wants. Curtail your impulses to tell him what he ought to be doing by what kind of time frame, because you’re right. When you do this, you are absolutely pushing him away.
So once you’ve made your statement, you have to withdraw and let this thing come back to life… or die. Because if all you’ve got is a corpse (and this is possible with Pluto transiting your Venus), you are sorely wasting your time writing it love notes.
And I realize this has got to be profoundly painful to read, however I see no other option.