The Underside of Covert Communications. – Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio

I guess I consider this a manifestation of Mercury Rx in Scorpio (things hidden about past intense communication). Also Jupiter in Sagittarius – the truth will set you free!

“They don’t know that. Nobody knows that. You know I don’t communicate with people, P. You are the only person I really talk to and you are the only person I have ever really talked to.”

“Okay, well tell me something. Back in 2003, when I got in contact with you and right away… just immediately you started telling me all these Special Forces stories. Why did you do that? How in the world did you decide to tell me this stuff?”

“Oh. Well as soon as I was in contact with you, I realized you were the only person who knew me before Special Forces and here you were on the other side and it just came to me like that. It would be a way to finish or something.”

“Oh. Well didn’t you worry about how hearing these stories would affect me? How I would be impacted?”

“No.”

I was shocked. “No? You didn’t care how the stories would affect me? I can’t believe that, but at least you’re honest. That’s very honest for you to tell me that.”

He just looked at me as if this was normal.

“So you decide to tell me all this stuff, never mind and no concern about how it would impact me. Did you not think I would be impacted?”

“I thought you might, but I didn’t care.”

“You didn’t care?”

“No. I wanted to tell you this stuff and yeah. I thought it would impact you but I also know you.”

“You haven’t seem me for 25 years, but you know me?”

“Yeah, I know you. And I figured if something I said had a bad effect on you, well that might happen but if it did you would find a way to get around it.”

“So you’re telling me you decided to tell me all this stuff… reams of it, never mind what it did to me?”

“Yep. Sorry, P. But at the time I just wanted to get it out.”

“Okay. So then why did you get upset with the other SF guy who said you were using me. Oppressing me, to liberate yourself?”

“I ever meet that guy, I am going to fight him over that,” he said

“What? Based on what you’re saying, he was right. You were telling me those stories with no regard for me. You were liberating yourself…”

“Yes, I was getting liberated, but I was not oppressing you to do it,” he said. “And I will fight that guy and he’ll have to do it too,” he said with some mumbled explanation, like there is some SF code.

“He’s old,” I said. “I doubt he wants to fight.”

“I’m old! We’re still going to fight. He will have to fight me for doing that, he’ll have no choice.”

I laughed. “Well hopefully there will be no meeting.”

“Well hopefully there will be a meeting,” he said with gleam that made me laugh.

“Okay, whatever. We’ll leave that for another day. Because I have enough to try to understand. I am shocked! First, I’m shocked you told me these stories at all. Second, I’m shocked that you started telling me them almost within an hour of being in contact with me… this after never telling anyone anything, ever.”

“Yeah?”

“And now I am shocked because you were going to tell them and tell them all, never mind what I thought or how I felt about them.”

“Yep, that’s right.”

“Okay, then. So now I know the truth (Jupiter) about the stories (Jupiter). And I am glad for everything I know and you are right. I was not oppressed by hearing them. It has cost me nothing. But my God, are you ever strange.”

“Well, P, I am not strange. I just wanted someone I could talk to. Everyone wants to talk to someone and I hadn’t had anyone I could talk to since we broke up when we were kids. How would you like that? How would like no one to talk to for 25 years?”

“Wouldn’t like it. I’d go crazy.”

“Yeah, well I damned near did. But then there you were. And I knew I could talk to you so I did.

Do you have someone you can talk to?


Comments

The Underside of Covert Communications. – Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio — 7 Comments

  1. I used to have someone that I kinda talked to…but I have never had anyone that would really listen….so I guess that is a resounding no…I have never had anyone to talk to. I always feel like I am going to explode or have a heart attach because of this….my whole life.
    That is why I never thought I would live to see 30.

  2. Nope, not anymore, and in a way, not even then. I just talk to the internet and the internet talks back.

    max
    [‘Very Neptune sort of thing.’]

  3. yes, I have many someones to talk to and it keeps me sane. They have to be the right kind to tell all to. Having someone to talk to is really helpful, practically essential, but diaries are great way to do it when a person can’t connect with other humans.

  4. dreamsAreality – what a trip. I called myself that… a muse, over the weekend and he laughed at me. He said that was not it at all but seemed amused I thought so. 😉

    ha ha ha

    He thinks more along the lines of I am his woman… made for him and we will be together for thousands and thousands of years… time and worrying about it is just stupid.

    I am going to try to write some of this stuff today. We had a big weekend, to say the least.

  5. I look at it somewhat akin to a storyteller…you NEED a muse.

    Elsa P. is the soldier’s muse.

    I can tell my truth like the dickens with my muse to listen to it, otherwise, I’m dry as a bone, like it’s stuck in my craw.

  6. No reason you can’t be BOTH! 😀

    To me it seems that the reason your souls keep reaching out for each other is that you truly do understand each other. Are forgiving of personality foibles, etc.

    You are a strong woman and he’s a strong man, and yet you are SAFE with each other’s energy.

    You loved him then, you love him now, so I’m thinking the only way anyone can get his/her stuff out there in the universe is in a SAFE place.

    You are sooooooo his muse!!

    Likewise, it would appear, that he is yours as well.

    Hohummm, what’s wrong with that? I LIKE IT!!!

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