The Sum Total Of Your Life

WalnutWhy do all the things in your life happen? Why did you suffer this or enjoy that? Why did you find out one thing but not the other?  Why did you spend time with this or that or not spend time with this or that? Are there mistakes? Or are there no mistakes? Why did I lose X or find Y?

I know these are big questions!  I have a progressed Sagittarius moon at the moment and I’m getting a feel for how all the little pieces; little things that have caught my eye or caught my attention in some way, actually add up to something.

I’m talking about very personal experiences. Things I noticed that bothered me or perhaps they made me laugh. I would react and remark on these things without fail.

“You’re crazy, Elsa.”  Oh, I know. I know. I’m an astrologer after all. I’m from the desert. I grew up without a tv. Without a telephone. I mean without a landline. Why? What does it mean outside of what I was told in plain language. “We’re moving to the desert where no one can hear you scream”?

Is this why I see and feel things that other people don’t? Am I overreactive?  Am I excitable when others are chill? Should I get a pill for this to help myself?

But now it’s coming together. I am beginning to understand “life”. My life.

Why am I hanging out with these gamers?
Why did I read Datalounge for three years?
Why am I here or there, buying this or passing on that?
Why do these unique people hire me?
Why did this or that person tell me this or that thing?

It’s a lot of numbers, that’s for sure? Do they equate in some way?

The answer is yes! This nut of a lifetime has cracked open. I recall standing in Times Square making a remark that shocked my host in the city.  Gradually and all of the sudden, all these little episodes link up.

Many years ago I wrote about Virgo and the Rainbow Bridge. This was in 2006.

Iconoclastic Men, Chiron, Virgo, and Astrologer, Barbara Hand Clow

I know I have this skill and now I know why.  But more importantly, I can now see how all these seemingly unconnected experiences brought me to this day. Maybe my father kicked me in the head, just right.

Hey, I’d not be surprised.

What do you know about the sum total of your life?

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Comments

The Sum Total Of Your Life — 33 Comments

  1. I believe that everything that has ever been, is and ever will be, is promised in the natal chart. Progressions can bring us new insights and new people, but it can’t make things like birth, deaths, divorce and marriage happen to us in a manner and with people not promised to us.

  2. Why do I attract Aquarius to my life? My mom, her boyfriend, my husband, close friends or recently Aquarius (Sun) entered my life in various ways, and my best friend/lover with Aquarius ascendant that I met on Pluto Saturn conjunction (it conjunct my NN and Desc).
    This is a mystery to me…

    • Is Aqua one of your angles? I tend to attract Aqua because it is the ruler of my IC. Look also to see planets aspecting your 7th ruler and the sign your 7th is in.

    • You attract a certain sign so you can learn from them. With Aquarius, it’s generally the freedom to be yourself / an individual, that is modeled for you. You see a person living by their own rules. It’s freeing.

      • That could be true. Thanks for the feedback, Elsa! I hope your back has been fine. ?

        Uranus Rx is the second strongest planet in my chart and is on my AC. I discovered freedom to be myself after moving out of home (free of parental expectation) and moving abroad (free of cultural expectation)…right now I’m even free of personal expectation.

        This has meant missing weddings, birthdays, get togethers etc etc and it might bother others. I actually like that I’ve already disappointed those people with expectations; nah, I think it’s the Aquas who think I am one of them. ?

    • I’ve thought about it and found it quite interesting because my 7th hs (Desc in Capricorn) ruler is Saturn (yes?) which is in my 11th hs (also its ruler). So there’s this kind of a repeat theme in my life of relationships and social life.
      And I do have those issues with freedom and responsibility, expressing my individuality and social boundaries.
      Freedom is something that feels so far away from me, but it feels like I need it so much. I have many questions popping in my mind; how do I get it, what do I have to do, what is my next step in order to earn my freedom, and so on…

  3. Wow, amazing , perfect timing
    Looking thru the eye of the needle
    Right now,Bonita;why? When? How?,who? Am I? Yes with ya sissy,
    I know I’m just pointed forward and I pray the best is yet to come.

  4. I like the walnut visual! Inspired by it, the content of your post, and maybe in particular the influence of the Progressed Moon thing I am seeing, noticing, feeling, how the many Oppositions in my Progressed Chart play out-feel and fit together as a sum. I love one place but I live in another. I love someone but am afraid to love too much. It goes on and on, but I get it now. A valuable insight to have after a 74th solar return.

  5. I have but Juno rx anarectic in Virgo, 6H. Chiron is in my 2H Gem conj moon, so I definitely have a commitment to daily duties. Cap in MC adds to the responsibility. I have attracted Virgo types and been attracted to especially when young, but at a closer look I always find them mostly unbalanced, with an obsession towards details that make them pretty boring or annoying. If they dont have any pisces/neptune to counteract that they’re PTA to me (people to avoid) at all costs. Nothing will ever be good enough.
    I couldnt quite say if chiron would rule Virgo. The explanation you give is interesting but I have other thoughts. Many say it’s Ceres who rules Virgo, which also would make sense. Ceres stands in the asteroid belt which many have believed to constitute the remnants of a now defunct/destroyed planet (Phaeton hypothesis). This theory has been secondarized, but the asteroids in the inner belt are
    – all named after females
    – names/myths mostly all resemble facets of the Virgoan type, the bigger ones at least, such as Ceres, Pallas, Vesta and! Hygea! Juno is also in the mix…
    So my personal theory/inclination is towards virgo being the bridge between jupiter/saturn (husband/father) and mars (warrior). She is the wife (juno) and mother (ceres), the virgin priestess (vesta) and the nurse/healer (hygea), she rules over intellect and is a master strategist (Pallas Athena). What can I say. Ive never really “tested out” this idea against natal charts as the asteroid positions would be so disparate/scattered all over, and im just an astro enthusiast anyways. In my own chart, it makes a lot of sense, but I could be biased. Do you reckon?

    • I have Mars in Virgo, a singleton in Earth. NN at 29 Virgo. I probably have run the asteroids against my chart at one point or another. Here’s what I remember:
      Vesta on 2nd cusp
      Chiron on DC
      Juno on IC

      I would not say nothing and no one is ever good enough. But I can be extremely productive and I feel like I still haven’t done enough. I have an insatiable desire to know things, to master things. For some years now I have been able to rectify charts from looking at pictures of people when they were young. On average, I learn at least 1 new thing a week.

      I guess the difference between us is the energy manifests within me. My motto is: if has to be done well, I have to do it.

      It takes a lot to look outside for “help.” I took up sewing to learn how to leave things at “good enough.” I used to go crazy over 0.5mm deviations from the invisible line.

      • Hi Estella, I appreciate your input. What do you think helped you “been able to rectify charts from looking at pictures of people when they were young”? Any idea of the astrology behind that? It sounds eerily familiar. I wonder where you have Pallas.
        I have it in the 12H conj Psyche, so I tend to see patterns instinctively. I was very good at word soup as a child and extremely quick at finding statistical meaning just by looking at raw data (countless numbers on excel sheets).
        oh, and I didn’t mean mean to say Virgo attention to detail is bad, or Virgos are “bad” in any way. I have great regard for everything neat and tidy, math and good science/craftsmanship. Just too much of it can drive an earthy person like me crazy, as I also have a lot of 12H/neptune AND fire. I like to see the trees AND the forest…

        • Hello Fumiga!

          What an interesting name!

          My Astro guru, Frances, and I “talk Astro” almost everyday; I should preface that by saying she put me on the path to learning astrology, not that she gave me lessons per se. I should also preface the preface by saying that we both have Aspergers, but haven’t been formally diagnosed. We have children with formally diagnosed moderate to severe neurodivergence. One of my biological half-sisters also has ND children so I discovered/realised and accepted that this is who I am.

          I don’t know if an NT person would have my chart.

          So like I said, I am able to rectify charts from pictures; preferably from 20 to 30 something age pics (before weight or sagging sets in), need clear shot of hairline, no plastic surgery. A bit of bio would help – Eg. What this person does for a living.

          I do this while standing in line at the post office. Wherever, whenever, as long as I feel like it.

          With Uranus and Merc, the two planets of mental “activity” in a square and conjunct angles, I like a mental challenge. At the start of the pandemic, me and Frances ran it against countries charts to see which country would be most affected and how.

          Pluto is my chart ruler and it is a singleton in air. So I have a singleton in air and a singleton in earth. Singletons can either be dysfunctional or work extra hard to compensate for their “team of 1”.

          I have tonnes of Leo. Sun, L10 and Moon, L9, are in mutual reception. Sun conjunct Jupiter in Cancer, I love learning.

          I will go check my Pallas and let you know. ? I see patterns close to every day. I fall asleep chewing on bits of a chart. Charts are like faces of friends to me. I know the Leo likes to brag, but I’m just stating a fact. ?

          Ok,

        • Hello Fumiga!

          One quick question: are you from Italy?

          I ran the asteroids against my natal. I have as follows:
          1) Pallas conjunct Vesta (orb 1.5) in Sag
          2) POF in Sag trine Merc on MC (orb of 0.5)
          3) Pholus conjunct Vertex, 3 degrees from South Node.

          My Jupiter is exalted.

          I start the day hungry for answers. Every time I look at the same chart I see something new. Eg. two years ago I was curious about death, and with all that Leo, specifically my own. I went away and explored other things in all that time.

          I would say it’s like having a library in your head and you keep adding new volumes to it. Then you might deface the old volumes with notes in the margins. And then there will be notes stapled to the pages. Bookmarks, dog-ears. You might have 50 volumes on the same subject but you are always on the lookout for volume 51. You weigh up recommendations. Eg. I have read both Frawley and Anthony Louis on horary. I like the simplicity of the former and the ability to eke out more info of the latter. My own technique is a combo of both.

        • Hello Fumiga!

          This is especially for you, since you like asteroids. Actually I should thank you for asking because I don’t normally run charts with the asteroids. ?

          So this is the deal:
          1) Quoaor and Ixion conjunct AC (orb 1)
          2) Uranus conjunct them both
          3) Sedna conjunct Chiron on DC
          4) Pallas conjunct Vesta on second cusp quincunx Merc

          The other bits as noted previously.

          Now you can say you have had a study of 2. ? Pity that astrotheme charts have no asteroids.

  6. I’m still working on this. It’s pretty slow go at the moment. This reminds me of trying to learn astrology. I did not find it to be easy!

    Anyway, I have gained some fairly unique skills. I don’t know who how unique but enough there is virtually no one I can discuss anything with. They can’t see what I can see, or understand what I can understand. I think I mean be five or ten years ahead… maybe more. I’m not happy about this!

    I thought about posting in the forum, seeing if I could find someone with similar interests – a buddy, basically. But then I realized that was stupid. I don’t have any buddies (anymore).

    So I think I must be learning these things to present them later… just like astrology. This is the next door opening for me.

    I think the studies may dovetail together but I’ve not proven this (to myself). It’s just like astrology. I don’t take other people’s words for things. I have to be able to observe them myself before I incorporate them into whatever body of knowledge that I possess, that I feel is reliable.

    It seems a meeting of minds (if mine is one of them) is a ways off but really, I just need Pluto fully in my 1st house. As long as it’s in my 12th, I’m going to be hindered / hidden / obscured somehow.

    I am not in a hurry to advance.

    https://www.elsaelsa.com/forum/astrology/me-when-pluto-transit-leaves-my12th-for-my-1st/

    • Elsa, I love your blog and how you make astrology accessible for almost everyone out there.

      I do agree, a buddy does make things more fun. Because who do you tell things to, or extrapolate hypothesis with, otherwise? I like astrotheme for the number of verifiable charts on a great many public figures. I will compulsively read a few pages of bio on a person when investigating something in a natal. Then track down another person known to do the same thing. There isn’t a consistent signature because the human animal is incredibly varied.

      When no such charts are available, I will add their known DOB to one of my 4 Astro accounts and “work on them.” I must admit that with Pluto natally in Libra, in the 12th and my chart ruler, I have a rather dark interests.

      For instance, after reading about the guy who murdered his wife and daughters and threw the daughters bodies down a well, I entered his chart, as well as that of his wife. I’ve done this for many other “complicated” individuals out there. I need to know why people are the way they are and my curiosity (as least intellectually) obeys no bounds.

      Will check out your link when I have a bit of time. Gotta go to my day job first. ?

  7. Thank you! I just ask God to guide me. This is where I’m at, currently. I wouldn’t choose it but I didn’t choose astrology either… I was just supposed to be an astrologer.

    After I just posted the comment above, I thought about both my progressed Jupiter and Uranus changing signs, just a few months apart. This is RARE.

    I wonder if that has something to do with it. The planets (at 0 degrees) are in aspect. I am able to see (vision / Jupiter) unusual things (Uranus).

    Uranus is a 7 year deal. If you’re ahead, it’s often by 7 years.

    When I first began to figure this out, it was so obvious, I thought I must be the LAST to know. Like how can I be so clueless? But I’ve done enough testing now to know, people in my subset are a small minority… though growing.

    I guess it’s like those people who bought bitcoin for a dollar. Jupiter Uranus… they could see something others could not.

    I know it takes a mighty investment to learn astrology. I made that investment and it put me in a position to help and/or teach others. This is the same type situation. I am making the investment because God seems to support this effort. I can’t say exactly why. I can say I am never, ever, ever bored.

    • You’re welcome! I do love your posts. ?

      I don’t think astrology called to me per se. 13 years ago, I had a P Venus conjunct P Mars on my N NN “moment” (which lets just say lasted a solid 5 years). I went on something of a “psychic bender” seeking answers.

      Around that time, I met Frances, my beloved Aquarian, who I chat to about astro daily. Frances had already been practicing for over 10 years. I didn’t even know about the 12 signs. ??In the beginning it was like tweens learning to sign their boyfriends name. The more you sign, the better you get at signing.

      I had no idea I had Aspergers then either. I just thought that maybe stimming, being very sensitive to temperature changes, being terrified of driving and swimming etc etc were all normal.

      My Uranus is Rx and unlike direct planets, isn’t immediately obvious. Like I never thought I was particularly intelligent but I have new Astro theories almost daily. ? I predicted some 12 months ago that China would be going into recession. The clock is now ticking…another 12 months to go.

      Anyway, since 3rd party “forecasting” was “unreliable”, with my Mars in Virgo, I took it upon myself to go learn and meet my own needs. ?

  8. What do I know about the sum total of my life? Nothing!
    Why I got to be where I am just seems to be an accident.
    Was never planned, stuff just happened.
    And it’s still the same.
    In spite of “logical thinking” Mercury in Virgo (which is supposed to be a good place to be?) it feels like something else has guided me. (I mean, nothing rational.)
    Now I’m starting to think that my Mars in Libra in 12th has led me, BY AVOIDANCE of many things.
    Well, it’s a retro path, I guess.
    So, wherever I end up might be the opposite of what it could/should be. But then again, maybe that’s exactly where I’m supposed to be?
    Don’t ask me! I wasn’t there when it happened! 🙂

  9. I might be a sun sagittarian but I know that saturn on the sun and my moon mars neptune true node stellium in scorpio enables me to dig deep and be ultra persistent.
    And thank God my mercury is Capricorn clear cut practical no nonsense plus a very good memory.
    Astrology convinced me only after spending hours and days looking at transits and planetary cycles as they express in (my) real life, so yes I have a good grip on the sum total of my life.
    Generational trauma and resilience patterns – visible in my ancestors and my offspring – validate what I learned.
    I work in trauma recovery using somatic therapy focused on the body. I do believe I would never have arrived there without astrology. I’m using it to understand my clients better but without ever mentioning planets, houses, angles or transits.
    I just enjoy them saying ‚Wow, exactly.,.how do you know that?‘

  10. It was not long after I started studying Astrology that I went into Progressions but for mostly 20 years I regarded them like a bit less important than everything else. Notwithstanding I usually draw the Natal+Transits+Progressions chart.

    But recently the token fell when I realized how relevant and massively impacting the Progressed Chart itself actually is — it was mind blowing to look back on the major events in my ✨Life✨ and I was in awe.

    Having said that, there’s also this thing called Progressed Composite chart!!! If the Composite chart says yes but the Progressed Composite says no, tough luck!

    By the way, Progressed ?Moon in ☠️Capricorn equates to depression and a highly destructive sweeping ?Tsunami? bringing down everything in a person’s ✨Life✨ that doesn’t have incredibly firm, strong and solid foundational structures. Like the few palm trees and one house whose side walls were still standing up after the Indonesia ?Tsunami?.

    Now that you’re on the good willed Jupiter ruled ?Sagittarius Prog ?Moon it may fill you up with happy-go-lucky jumping before looking go with the flow bravado type thing. Remember that is exactly the kind of thing that the next ☠️Capricorn Prog ?Moon loves destroying.

    So my really hands on experience based suggestion is — structure structure structure, build structures, foundations, use the good sails’ filling wind? to push you to create the ?Tsunami? proof structures that the following ☠️Capricorn Prog ?Moon won’t be able to bring down and effectively solidify and add more structure to, like when building a castle.

    Having said this may your sails always be filled with good wind?!

    • My life changed after I discovered secondary progressions and solar arc. I do have a look at composite progressions (midpoint) as well. Constantly blown away by the amount of data to be mined. Eg. I have P AC in Sag, N Jupiter and P Jupiter also in Cancer.

      At the start of the year I had P Moon in Pisces. When it touched my IC, I went into group therapy for parent/carer burnout. In the beginning I probably came across as a bit of a weirdo (I have Uranus RX on N AC, Leo stellium) and was unusually chirpy when the topics were youth suicide and how not to go over the edge yourself. All told it was a beneficial course.

      I had been having massive water retention due to weakening thyroid (I have autoimmune issues) which was exacerbated by years of stress, and the P Moon in mutual reception to P Jupiter says that as well. Meds started working again in August and I lost 3 kg when P Moon conjunct P SN at 26 Pisces. Now waiting to shed the rest of my excess baggage when P Moon conjunct my N SN at 29’ 29” Pisces.

      Then it’s off to Aries for my P Moon! ☄️I expect I will be more active as it rules my natal 6th and is in Virgo in my 11th.

      I’ve been wanting to learn to read the Ebertin life diagram for a while. Was exploring Harmonics on Bob Marks a while back and playing with charts in my Astro data bank. Consolidating what I know about Progressions through the writings of the late Dawn Bodrogi. Found the tributes of her former students, all astrologers of course, and learnt new stuff there as well.

  11. Dear, dear Elsa. I feel so spiritually connected to you. I would love to read a book about your life, and I hope, at age 71, I still have time to write one about mine. Hats off to you, sister.

  12. Hi Elsa
    I’m in the “haven’t minded it for a while” basket and as is usually the case, my attention was drawn quite by accident to my progressed chart recently also. As you have described, planets changing signs in the progressed chart are very significant and can be closely correlated to remarkable changes in a person’s life physically, materially, emotionally & spiritually. We all experience these changes, particularly for the inner planets at some stage in our lives and more rarely for the outer planets depending on their location within a sign on the date of birth.I have to wait until I’m 80 years old (if I live that long) for Saturn to change signs, but just as important for all of us is to pay attention to any planet that might change directions (either going retrograde or turning direct) in our lives. I’m fortunate enough to have Mercury in my progressed chart turning direct in only a couple of weeks and more importantly my natal retrograde Mars will go direct in March next year (after 63 years). That’s significant enough for me! I can’t wait for the shift in energy!
    I like your analogy about Astrology being hard. It is! Despite being an avid student of Astrology for 40 years, I still can’t intuitively read somebody else’s chart. They don’t talk to me, never have done, it’s like really hard maths to do the analysis and interpretation. My soul’s journey in this lifetime has been based on introspection and internal reflection (very busy 12th house) and I would not have learnt this without the language of Astrology. When you talk about the Sum total of your life, you are very lucky when this realisation comes upon you. It’s a bit like getting a whole new change of clothes but the new uniform is already comfortable and fits just right!

    Namaste
    Bob

    • Thanks, Bob. I do feel lucky. I feel properly oriented for one thing. The other massive benefit is this: I am never bored. I also feel the supply of things to learn and know is inexhaustible. It’s pretty cool.

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