Speaking of humility the soldier and I have been discussing our various break ups when we kids after the soldier had some new memory surface last week. He recalls us being in a Mexican restaurant. Mariachis were playing.
“What were we doing?”
“Don’t know. I can’t remember. I remember we met there and we had dinner. We had a good time, I don’t know what we doing but I know it was near the end.”
“Were we getting used to the idea of letting go? Do you think that’s what we were doing? Just getting used to it, maybe weaning off?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t think either one of us knew what was happening. We were just so young and we were both just a pain in the ass. We were cocky and we were proud as hell, both of us. I don’t think we thought it would or could ever end. Here we were with everything you could ever want or need and we were just so full of pride we lost it.”
“I see.”
A few days later…
“Well no, I am not going to do that,” I said. “Can you even imagine that? I am going to come to you and say, guess what? I don’t love you. I love this other guy now, I saw him at the gym and I am going with him. I am going over there. Can you even imagine me saying that to you?”
“No.”
“Well good. I can’t imagine it either.”
“Yeah, well I’m glad because this last one was long. 30 years, P. This last break up took us a long, long time to recover.”
People get pretty pissed when I make audacious statements like, “If you screw up your Saturn return at 29, your next chance comes at about 57 years old.”
However, stories like this show just how true this is.
Have you ever really super duper blown it?
I had a *gnarly* Saturn Return, and I am just not sure if I super duper blew it or not. I think I got some parts of it just right, and other parts of it I might have royally fucked up. I don’t know, because Neptune is involved. I was in this strange situation that felt like my choices were between the lesser of two evils. This totally frustrates me because I knew SR was coming and what it was all about.
yes. but it’s a good thing. I wouldn’t have my kids if I hadn’t been a super doo-shay a few times in my youth. ::smirk::
yes, but you sure helped me fix it 🙂 I’m so greatful for that. Thanks to you and Soldier!
I don’t know if it was Saturn return or not, but I certainly screwed up.
I can’t think of anything positive to say about the idea of getting another chance at 57. I can’t think of anything positive to say about the idea of never getting another chance at all.
Hate it when the words just kind of go away like this.
ewinbee – what a profound statement. I have got to do a video on this now… I can’t do it now, so don’t let me forget!!
So far I have not. Very particular about my gameplan. I look back for lessons from past mistakes, and I look at every possible future outcome from choices I make now. But I’m human, so nothing will be fool-proof. Crossing my fingers though. Saturn Return is creeping up….aggghhh
i think we’re all dumb kids at times when we’re kids.
my worst screwup happened at my (only, so far) saturn opposition. or it coulda’ been my first chiron square- they came at about the same time.
my saturn return and my second chiron square showed up about two years ago and i had the opportunity to really look at how i messed up and what i’d want to do different.
i still haven’t found a means to apologize, though. there just isn’t a communication route available.
I have some time before my first Saturn return comes around but I am terrified of making mistakes. I have a strong Saturn (Natally, on my Midheaven); it just finished transiting my Leo sun and now it’s headed for my Venus and Mercury in Virgo.
Needless to say it has not been a very fun past three or four years but I sure have learned a hell of a lot and I would not easily trade it (and I would have, before).
I think I didn’t end up doing or changing anything during mine. My dad was slowly dying and that is ALL I got to deal with during the SR period. I couldn’t go make big changes in my life of my own recognizance. So I guess I get to wait until I’m 58 for that.
Yes. When I had the chance to go back to school and do something meaningful with my life, I gave up when the going got tough. Now been stuck in a entry-level position for 22 years. Let that be a warning to you young folks.
Yes. But my Saturn return is not here yet. Want to make it ok, but it seems I’m the only one in this and he doesn’t even want it 🙁
it was also during saturn sun opposition and neptune in 7th and jupiter in natal 12th/8th house