Hitchhiking on a person’s energy is your own business but things change when you have a regular source. I realize other people will see this differently but I have strong feelings about this.
I have been a source for many, all my life. People routinely feed off this blog and the people it attracts, which tracks back to me. They particularly feed off my pain when I express it. Don’t think for one minute I don’t know it. They also get a extra-credit meal when I blow a gasket…. gobble, gobble, gobble.
I think when you continually feed off someone and when your routinely benefit from them, you owe them. (see related – Scorpio – The most undervalued sign in relationship by far) For example, the soldier is a rich a source. He has spent his entire life at the far end of the continuum in every way possible. Due his intellect and the training of same and it is great privilege to access his quality energy which winds up on this blog in some form.
If you understand that, do you think it would be cool if I dissed him? Would it be funny or okay if I took and took and took and never gave anything back? Obviously not.
People who have quality energy, know they have quality energy. It is of quality because they’ve honed it. If you are lucky enough to run into someone like this, it behooves your to appreciate what they offer and I have a story to illustrate.
I was contacted a couple weeks ago by an old pal… he is a double Scorpio I met via my original blog probably around 2002. He is an ex-green beret who befriended me and we have been in intermittent contact since.
As the pattern goes, there is an intense exchange of emails over some period of time (weeks not days) and then he goes periscope down.
He goes so far down I don’t know that I will ever hear from him again but I never worry about it because I know he can keep a confidence and would never harm me. I know this why instinct.
This is an example of an exchange of energy and neither of us mess around much. He surfaced to ask me how I was doing. I sent him an account, with every wart, included. I mean, I just laid it out sort of like those frogs they make you dissect in high school. I knew it would be a meal but it’s more complicated than that.
The complication was this: You don’t eat for free! Not if you’re decent you don’t, and he is. So when I sent him all this info… well it was intense, personal, probably unexpected and intricate enough to be a challenge to parse. I mean he expected MEAT, I am sure but mess with me no telling what kind of steak I am gonna toss you.
So on one hand, it’s glorious because MEAT is so scarce but on the other it brings pain. I know it brings some kind agony to have to read my words and fashion a response. So here’s the point:
It his due his energy I was able to do what did… spew that is. And while he receives something, the opportunity to speak freely without restraint is so rare I best comprehend he is going to have to contain this on his end which means I am using his energy and for that I ought to thank him and I did.
I like these soldiers. They swear to liberate the oppressed and then they do it. But here is the upshot: If you have a rich source of energy you best care for it because it knows when you steal.
i hear that. i know i’ll be buying a reading from you eventually, i just need a real problem and some cash. i’m not trying to pilfer the gold mine.
alphaxys – don’t you worry about that. I am not talking about you. I am talking about the dirty bastards and bitches that betray me, talk behind my back, attempt to cut my throat and then come here to eat 3 times a day.
And I want to say something else about this kind of character (as outlined in the post).
People like this make someone who boasts about how rotten, nasty and amoral they are look repulsive and ridiculous.
Class beats trash, this is just the way it is.
Oodamn. That’s a whole other story! Well you know what they say, “bitches get stitches”… in one way or another! Just like a boomerang.
Do you mean like ‘Frenemies?’
I tend to disagree. If a person makes fifteen movies, that’s their choice and I don’t think the “public” “owes” them anything. They put themselves out there for their own reasons; it’s not like it’s out of pure altruism or anything. They want to be out there because of their OWN desire to BE out there and recognized. No one is making them do it, and if someone chooses to buy a ticket once and enjoy their work for an hour or two, that doesn’t shackle them to undying fandom. To suggest that anyone owes them because they chose to do and others might come along and benefit from it once in a while is like a Joan Crawford expectation… and we all know what happened to her.
Del… The person was paid for their service by that one ticket, or by the DVD that someone buys, or by the continued support of their work. Not a matter of undying fandom but of a due mutual exchange between producer and consumer.
I have learned that there is nothing that you can do or say that won’t be found out eventually.
If you keep coming back over and over, you’re obviously getting something from that source. Claiming the food sucks does not hold much water when you’re feeding at the same table repeatedly.
“I never worry about it because I know he can keep a confidence and would never harm me. I know this why instinct.”
How can you be sure?? People are capable of incredible cruelty. Once there has been an exchange, there is no telling what someone will do with your energy. Instincts can deceive.
instincts can deceive, yes, but some humans have watched their instincts sustain them throughout their lives…some people trust themselves.
personally, i KNOW i have great instincts. i am only deceived when i ignore them…
Agree with kashmiri. very comfortable taking my chances.
kashmiri – yes, that whole ignoring instincts thing. Really sucks. Gets better with age but I still screw it up and ignore them when I don’t like what I’m feeling and that it makes for a yucky situation when I just don’t have the energy for another yucky.
But boy are you right, ignore instincts to your own detriment!
I don’t disagree, but just think people are very complex. Strange enough I have known people for a long time that trust me and have never betrayed me, but I see them betray others.
I think if you see them betray others, you will be next.
Elsa, you said, “I think if you see them betray others, you will be next.” I am currently watching my family go through the drama of betrayal in the middle of grieving; and I come here to sort through my reactions to this sort of thread & that!… seems not many other places to do this stuff 🙂
I too am one who knows I have ‘great instincts’ and like Kashmiri, it’s when I ignore them that I pay the piper. Over and over the universe serves me up plates of TTI (try this instinct) I’m helping to write a eulogy for a very powerful Scorpio who listened to her instincts and was betrayed any way … time and time again.
Put up the shields of protection and get Elsa to help hone the tools, I say. Thanks for threading the needle on this long thread.
“I think if you see them betray others, you will be next”
This is EXACTLY how I ended up being ‘betrayed’ when I ignored my instincts! Getting tied up with someone who betrayed other people…ignoring the niggling thoughts that I could be next, and yes I was next.
Nowadays I simply do not run with people who betray other people. I have no use for building a relationship on top of a pile of sand.
Elsa,
New Scorpio lurker here. I agree with your post so much I had to offer my first comment.
Similar to your friend, I like to go “periscope down” (love that). My true friends understand that I need to recharge my energy before I’m any good to anyone including myself. But it has to be reciprocal.
Some hitchhikers just don’t get it and if they get it and still do it anyhow… amputation eventually occurs 🙂 Some of us can’t keep giving away energy without feeling the impact.
I don’t know many in my life who understand that dynamic, so thanks for recognizing!
Hi Melissa and Nicky99. Welcome!
I have a friend who feeds me intellectually. You can be darn certain I reciprocate. I like what I’m getting.
And because I care about them aside from just their intellectual goodies, I want them to feel well-fed too – they are “Good People” w/good times to go along with. Surely I don’t want them to feel our relationship is one-sided, so I always try to attend to my side of the equation & bring something to the relationship to keep it sustained – it’s not tit-for-tat, quid-pro-quo, required – but close.
I think of it like men & women — (warning generic statement ahead) lots of women will go out to eat with almost any man that asks them to dinner. Then they feed off the guys ‘friendship’ quite literally. The guy might go for this a few times, but he wants what he wants too. And, it usually isn’t just a dinner date, now is it? They are both entitled in my opinion to want what they want.
And as long as the exchange feeds both parties needs, it’s all good. Get that out of balance and he’s long gone. He get’s too pushy too fast, and she’s out.
For both parties to get a fair exchange, I think you have to look at your partner/ friend/ companion’s plate on a regular basis and see if what they’ve got looks like it’s gonna fill their appetite. If not, don’t you think you could share a little off your plate? I do. My friend shares with me all the time. I try to make sure they are AS well-satisfied with the exchange as I am. Two happy campers. Sometimes one of us is a little fluffier & bloated with relational-goodness at the moment, but over time it evens out.
Elsa wisdom pearl number #136,893. She’s right again. (GreatJesophatineBellsOfWonderment!!, a Scorpio likes that in their chosen astrologer!!)
Melissa thanks for this (and glad you’ve come to comment:):
Some hitchhikers just don’t get it and if they get it and still do it anyhow… amputation eventually occurs 🙂 Some of us can’t keep giving away energy without feeling the impact.
I don’t know many in my life who understand that dynamic, so thanks for recognizing!
The amputation eventually occurs is usually true for me (Scorp) too. I’m working with something a little bit different right now … that will either get me around a new corner or just off the deep end. Still willing to learn.
“I’m helping to write a eulogy for a very powerful Scorpio who listened to her instincts and was betrayed any way … time and time again.”
This is the statement that resonates with me. 90% of the time I go with my instincts and a vast majority of the time I still get screwed. I suppose I have crap instincts! *lol*
Then again (I must be feeling supremely Libra-ish tonight), this could also just be my wonderfully pitiful self-esteem / self-doubt talking.
Sun-Saturn trine Neptune, maaaan… I used to know which way was up, I think. Not so much anymore. 🙂
SaDiablo – go to the center of the wheel and ride out the bumps babeeeeeee!!!
very weird, but i don’t see nicky99’s comment and i don’t see the reference to what you quote in your comment, SaD. Maybe it’s my mac??
I didn’t see it either Kash, thanks for commenting.
Yanno, I just realized I don’t see nicky99, either. And I don’t have a mac. *lol*
Kash, I quoted part of what mokihana said right above your comment about being betrayed (8/13 1:43 pm). Basically, mokihana was writing a eulogy for a Scorp friend who followed her instincts and was usually betrayed anyway.
Dreams, right on, swee’pea! Me n’ my motorbike in The Wheel of DEATH! *vroom vroooom!*
thanks, i see that part of mokihana’s comment now:)
Sorry! Nicky99 must have commented on the video…
this was very interesting. i’ve never really thought about the energy exchange that way. i’m a scorpio. back in college i had a friend who i’m pretty now sure had some major scorpio going on (i didn’t know anything beyond sun signs back then). anyway, i invited this girl i knew to hang out with us once. by the end of the night she was so energized she was literally bouncing. and she actually said to me “i am going to hitch my wagon to your star”. that was it… immediate amputation. and i don’t think i could have explained why i felt the need to do that back then. but reading this, it makes much more sense to me. it was such a clear declaration that she was going to take and give nothing back.
Really interesting post, Elsa! And, just for the record – I’m so glad I’ve found your site and find everything on it really interesting! So thank you to you and all the great folks who are here supporting each other.
Just recently I watched two “friends” engage in umm….trash talking about each other. With me in the middle hearing it.
And I knew just what you said, Elsa – they will do it to me as well.
So, typically Libran, (sun and moon) I have backed WAY off. Fortunately they are not MY best friends.
I called them on it, (Libra nicely!) and then basically left the room.
Scorp rising.
Wow Elsa!You’re really good
@ Elsa don’t you worry about that. I am not talking about you. I am talking about the dirty bastards and bitches that betray me, talk behind my back, attempt to cut my throat and then come here to eat 3 times a day.
LMAO I ALMOST FEEL OUT MY SEAT AT THAT COMMENT 🙂
THATS WHAT I WOULD THINK BUT I TRY TO CONTAIN MYSELF 🙂
IM A ARIES 🙂
For the longest time I’ve felt bad about amputating people, some after 20 or even 30-year “relationships”. So glad to read this!
With every ONE of them, I had this feeling on meeting them of “don’t Don’t DON’T go there, pass them by and slide out the door with a polite smile” – and I didn’t listen and eventually they betrayed me.
The feeling bad about the amputation was mixed with a feeling of lightness and great relief.