Life is tricky. One of the main reasons it’s so tricky is a good number of people are liars. I’m not talking about telling someone their pie is great after swallowing an unsatisfying bite. I’m talking about lying liars who knowingly and willingly lie in order to cause harm.
Maybe I’m also talking about liars who lie because it serves them to lie, where any harm caused to you is simple collateral damage. This may include liars who lie to entertain themselves. But my focus is on the psychopathic liar. There are a lot of them and they have a striking advantage over a person who tells the truth.
The reason is because the truth-telling person can only tell the truth. The liar can say anything.
Take a scenario where someone makes a false allegation against an honest person. What can that person do but tell the truth? “I didn’t do that. I did this…”
But what can the liar say? Anything!
The world is set up in this way; quite literally. Have you ever been to court against a liar? I have – three times! Life’s a bitch!
I’m not saying the honest person can’t prevail. I usually prevail though my “winning” may be unconventional. I am saying the liar has the advantage.
What do you know about lies vs. honesty?
At 22 I married my college boyfriend and we moved from the south to his home state in the north. I was insanely happy. I loved him, my new city, my high rise apartment and my job. He was building a career in the entertainment world and I had landed a better than entry position at a major advertising agency.
At the two year point in our marriage things didn’t seem right and they weren’t. He had met another young woman, began cheating and emotionally pinged between her and me, while I was still in the dark. It ended in divorce, of course.
But twenty some odd years later he and I became friends of Facebook and actually had a telephone conversation or two. I remember him explaining that he only lied because he didn’t want to hurt me. I was decades beyond the hurt and knew enough about liars to tell him, he only lied to keep everything he wanted. Any pain that might come hurting me, or hurting her, was never really considered – just not hurting himself.
He admitted that was probably true and a path he still walked as a over 60 year old man.
Many men on these dating sites seem a bit twisted that way! All about them!!
The worst kind of liar will bully you – and STEAL YOUR RESPONSE to their bullying – so they know how to “appear” as honest to others. They usually combine a lie into some sort of truthful piece of information. You eat the lie by accident.
“Are you barely a word? Maybe a word and a half. What pure silence circles you? Lovely new island with origins that maps ignore. No. You’re much fuller, lie. You have resounding eyes. What carries you, completes you, with movement that lifts you. Headless body and frantic gesture, a sudden hybrid plant which, growing in the void, sometimes reaches three yards high. But wither, it does, far too soon, for having known no season. We dream, then awaken, then do some rearranging…reentering somewhat ashamed into that devastated room. The elevator returns us to our floor, says a little truth, then leaves. And to those wise things we bare our Mardi Gra face. Later we open our eyes because the remorse is gnawing at us. Next to that handsome lie we are counterfeit.” ~*Rainer Maria Rilke
3 times?!!!? 3 times?!!!! 3 FUCKING TIMES?!!?! You are a stronger person than I am!!! I cannot even IMAGINE THE HORROR!!!!! Send me some of your strength and wisdom energies please!
Honest gal ?
Yes! I lost the first case; I was representing myself against a corporation. I was 17 years old. I lost, but the judge awarded the wining party (represented by three attorneys), ONE dollar. See, this is what I mean, “unconventional”. I thought I lost this case, but an old man explained – far from it!
The next time I was in court, literally IN court because my father was fighting a restraining order I had placed against him. This alone is pretty much unheard of. So I testified about abuse… what did your father hit you with…
“His hands, feet, a shovel, an axe, a belt, a chair…” you get the idea.
Then my sister, kept outside the courtroom during my testimony, was asked the same question. Her answer? “Everything.”
“Whatever he could find.”
So then my father got up there and said he never laid a hand on either one of us. He also said he never broke my arm, which he sure as hell did. My Capricorn stepmother (who I liked) was in the courtroom – she knew damned well he was lying. We used to joke about all these beatings at the dinner table, back in the day. She was there for that. She lost her integrity in my eyes, that day. In fact, I never spoke to her again.
Anyway, I was actually worried about this. I thought the court might believe him. But then I went to use the restroom – the court reporter was in there. “Your dad is a psycho,” she said. I was still not sure. I was wondering if this gal was supposed to be talking to me. My guess is no!
But I won this case as well. I actually have the transcript of this hearing. I have a hard copy of it – long story how that happened.
The last time I cannot go into. I can’t say that I won. I don’t know that anyone “won” but I did walk out of there unburdened, with no price to pay. So that’s a win.
Third time is the charm, Me thinks you won the trifecta!
You are AWWW-ESOME!
Oh my goodness, your poor broken heart. My eyes were bulged and my jaw dropped as I read this.
I understand what you mean when you say, I was still not sure! It’s very hard to look at the reality of our situations and even harder to see it.
I’m so sad that you had to suffer through so much pain. Thank you so much for surviving such agony to be able to share your story with me! It gives me clarity and strength- it gives me hope!
It would be interesting to note where asteroids “Lie” (#26955) and “Swindle” (#8690) are in these charts.
I called my lawyer brother in law to jubilantly announce that my ex and I had come to an agreement on our divorce. He wanted the house in exchange for me getting full custody- as in he got visitation, but I decided on her schools and where we lived. I had 22K in on it, but it seemed like a good exchange. My in law had known of me coming home to him passed out on the floor every day when I got home, him filling our neighbor’s garbage with empties, and him getting drunk while in the shower after work. He broke my lawyer client privilege, and counselled him not to sign. My mom even stepped in to speak to my ex privately, unbeknownst to me until I was in front of the judge saying that my ex even had alcohol on his breath in that moment, at 10am, and my ex replied, “She is bipolar- her mom said so”. It was such a blatant, outright, and cruel lie that I could say not much more than that it was was untrue, and the judge quickly decided for him, even asking if he wanted anything else, and gave him an extra weekend on top of it all. Despite my standing up, pointing to the judge, and declaring that when she became an alcoholic, it would be his fault(and risking going to jail for contempt of court), their devious plot won out. Despite standing and pointing at the judge to declare that it would be his fault when she became an alcoholic, he got custody and prevented me from a relationship with her for 6 years, until she showed up on my doorstep one day to live with me, and yes, by then she was an alcoholic.
oops should have proofread that…
What a horrible story. You have A LOT of company. I wish people would talk more openly about this. Stuff like this creates a lot of shame – people don’t want to share what happened to them but when they too, they find they’re part of a HUGE group.
I was replying to a Covid survey the other day and they asked about the absolute worst thing that had ever happened to me, and I thought: Crying while getting my hair torn out daily as my mom brushed my hair violently while screaming every morning getting ready for school? My best friend being murdered on my birthday by the guy I warned her not to date? What of all the hundreds of episodes and instances could possibly be the worst? I became so overwhelmed by that question that I deleted the survey, despite having spent a half hour on it already. Having a scorpio stellium and pluto Uranus ascendent, I just suck it up and move on.
I’m glad you walked away. You don’t need to give personal information like that to be used ???
What I have noticed is that people who tend to be truthful, often have this literal disconnect, a seeming inability to wrap their worldview around the fact that there are people who really do, not only lie, but actually make things up..who refuse to back down under any circumstance that what they are saying is anything but truth….even in the face of concrete evidence to the contrary!
Yep ,shame ,loose lips sink ships,
girls coached by mothers keep it zipped; thank God we have learned to scream!!Creeeep!!!To all the little girls
Nobody should’ve hurt you nobody it wasn’t your fault they were creepy evil men and after all that stress ! Boom! Came the flower ,the beautiful you ?kisses
The convincing liar is abetted and accompliced by both the gullible-ignorant and the self-serving-disavowing-truth_knowing crowd. Even if the intended victim understands the truth and danger of the psychopath, the social justice system of the crowd will often thrill themselves to parsimoniously deliver the wounds, unjust punishment, and high costs of non-compliance with the psychopath.
In other words, the sheep are dangerous because they are actually predators too; crypto-predators. Their predatory behaviour is that of the intentional sacrifice to the wolves of the members at the outside edge of the flock based on the calculation the wolf wont make it to the center where they seek to reside.
Insulated by cowardice, deception, and aggression to compromise themselves always into the center of the group, I suggest their weakness and cravenness is the true reason the psychopath has so much power to punish those who see the truth and decline to submit to lies.
Perhaps the uber-sheep and the psychopath have an unspoken contract and are working together. Does one group seek safety at the expense of others and the truth? Does the other seek power / sadistic affirmation at the expense of others? Are both perhaps parasitic in effect on the world? What is a psychopath without an army of crypto-predator sheep, and what is the actual difference in them?
If you haven’t seen a psychopath, just turn on the news and contemplate the willing and profitable participation in the deaths of millions abetted by the successful deceptions, gaslighting, and alteration of the perception of truth promoted by many primetime anchors. The movie “They Live” is of poor production value but a bit funny and about this topic.
Hard core psychopaths are not limited to men. The women are often referred to as black-widows. It seems they can be very successful at keeping a cover of innocence with their network of sympathetic women who will reflexively respond with support without seeming to assess that while the feeling tone of the lies can read true, there is a quiet inner voice that can speak up and declare the need to depart from the absence of truth.
It seems to me that psychopaths may be powerfully augmented with conjunctions of Neptune to their Sun and/or Moon. Stienbrecher identifies these constructs as a Neptunian Power Alien or a Neptunian Vessel Alien. This might explain the compelling hypnotic effect on the unwary.
What an interesting comment. I don’t think you’re wrong. I don’t know that those in the center are conscious of what they are doing though. Some of them are, I’m sure.
“It seems to me that psychopaths may be powerfully augmented with conjunctions of Neptune to their Sun and/or Moon. Stienbrecher identifies these constructs as a Neptunian Power Alien or a Neptunian Vessel Alien. This might explain the compelling hypnotic effect on the unwary.”
I don’t know who “Steinbrecher” is but I agree that Neptune is implicated and not necessarily limited to the the perpetrator. Celebrity worship is utterly out of control and celebrities themselves are an illusion – 100%. Like the big wizard on the screen. That is not an actual, wizard!
Faith is misplaced for sure, but I am not necessarily down with the idea people are “willfully ignorant”. Some may be. But others are merely working… maybe two jobs or three jobs. They may just trying to keep up with their lives, taking care of kids, parents or both. No one is really talking to them because access is limited for a myriad of reasons. Like you can’t just stop a passer-by and tell them you’re going to order their priorities for them.
The ability to see through the veil may be a grace of some sort, rather than a failure on the part of someone who can’t.
Thanks for weighing in.
Steinbrecher wrote a little-known book called Inner Guide Meditation where he proposes an experientially grounded way to work safely with the archetypes within the framework of the trustee or inner guide we each have individually to protect us and help us wake up to the service of the light. Here is a link. It is a very unique and odd book that may be challenging in its presentation.
The psychopath and enablers may be linked based on a shared strategy of Service_to_Self; the personal self. The enablers may be trading truth they have access to for the appearance of safety. The psychopath is not interested in truth except as a tool for exploitation. Narcissism seems to be a red flag.
Here is a page from Lisa Renee on Service_To_Self and its dangers:
She also produces the Energetic Synthesis site:
I have found these resources very thought provoking and inspiring. It seems to me that there is corruption and danger that many do not want to see it because they may not have an adequate inner connection developed, may not have a solid clearning practice, and may not be able to stabilize themselves with respect to fear as truth removes illusions so we can grow further.
Alot of this also may come down to strategy in other ways as well. The psychopath and the enabler may both be using power and advantage in an overt or covert authoritarian manner; coercing, deceiving, controlling, and structuring others into compliance with what gives them adantage or “safety” respectively. For example, I suggest that lately this type of authoritarianism has been in clear view with the dishonesty, coerceion, and external-morality-rationalization involved in getting people to comply with vaccine mandates and such; violating the recognition of the right of each to their own body / temple and their own wisdom regarding their physical and spiritual health.
Thanks for the interesting question regarding psychopaths.
Thanks for the links, R. I enjoyed them, especially, “Banishing The Lies”.
I’m going to have to think about the lack of inner connection causing a person to avoid truth or fail to connect with it.
I used to think, naively, that a person knew the truth when they heard it. This is what I was taught as a child; I took it to be a fact. I was pretty surprised when I learned otherwise and it took me some time to absorb this.
I’m clear with it now so I’ve wondered why some people can’t see and some can, realizing that I can see some things and not others. The people who can’t see what I can see can probably see things I can’t. But there are people who seem fully tricked out there. These are intelligent people and it dogs me!
Puzzling over this, I found one thing that separates me from most. I grew up without a tv. In fact, I never watched tv to speak of until I was in my mid-thirties. Many understand the brainwashing on TV – I missed decades of these treatments! I simply did not get the memo and because my world view developed in atypical conditions, it makes sense I would view things differently than most. This gets me in quite a bit of trouble, almost every day.
My husband once told me I was like the Little Match Girl. I just keep lighting matches, wondering why people cant see what I see, when it’s right there in the light. I’m glad to at least have this part of the puzzle solved. It’s the TV! They’re blinded by the television.
Thanks for the conversation, R! I have enjoyed this a lot.
Liar can have the advantage. I agree, I went to court against liars three times and I won the cases against them and two out of three I represented myself and won without a lawyer. I simply told the truth.
I love hearing this. Hooray!