We’ve got roughly a week before Pluto turns direct. If you are tracking this blog you can see people are falling off it like flies for reasons I don’t even remotely understand. There have been three this week and from my perspective it’s ghastly. I watch all these war movies with the soldier… I have seen almost nothing but war movies for a year and a half and what you see in these movies over and over and over, is people being shot or blown up.
It reminds me of a group email sent by the soldier’s son at war in Iraq some months ago. He was remarking on how people were killed in random fashion which is exactly how it seems in these movies. This one is shot and goes down, the guy next to him is not and no one knows why. This is exactly how I am experiencing this transit at this point. It is as if I have a group of friends (11th house) or a group on this blog (also 11th house) and people just drop off, explode, implode.. whatever they do and I’ve little choice but to wait until the smoke clears and see who is still standing.
It is now boiled down to this: I was on the phone with a pal last night… I only have a few minutes a day to talk lately so I quickly caught her up. I knew what I said was inordinately potent, I am in the eye of a storm and as we were hanging up she said, “Thanks for calling, I am glad I am on your confide list.”
I laughed. “Thanks for talking to me at all, these are so few of you left.”
She thought that was funny but really, my eyes are just about bugged out of my head with what I have witnessed.
The soldier remarks at times that all his friends are dead and in fact 95% of them are. I’d like to be able to get some of these people out of their graves for him but it can’t be done, he just has to live with it.
I wonder if I should do something like spend time reflecting on the people I have lost but find there is no time for that. It is as if there is a plague out there and some people contract the thing (randomly) and there is not a damned thing to do but move the bodies aside and wait for November and see who I’ve got left. And grieving? Well that’ll come later I suppose.
Yeah, you mentioned this phenomenon before. Bizarre.
I don’t understand it at all either. I read and am left scratching my head wondering what the hell. . .
Not to be a pollyanna (very unlike me), but perhaps come November some really cool people will start to come into your life, and you’ll be glad that you have time to develop those friendships. I hope so!
llama – I don’t consider that pollyanna at all – thank you. 🙂
pluto, in my mind, is one of the roots of the aphorsim “that which does not kill me only makes me stronger” -even more so than saturn.
more on a spiritual level, though… for me, at least, pluto transits have forced me to access sources of internal strength i didn’t know i had, and probably would never had gone looking for if i didn’t need them.
Well, I’ll still be reading. I cant imagine imploding (or exploding) for any reason here on your site. Love you Elsa, but even when I dont agree with something youve said.. I dont get all MAD about it. Different strokes yk?
Well, I’m still here…though I do tend to pop in & out at random times…but I’m still reading, still caring, still praying for you 🙂 *hugs*
Well I have said it before, fact is if you are going to write 5000 blogs or opinions and make the public it is virtually guaranteed that EVERYONE will have a problem with something. What people do when they encounter a problem is up to the individual but from my perspective some of the things people do are very nearly unfathomable.
For example, last night someone used my daughter to slay me or tried to. Do you wake up with a hangover after something like that or do you justify it?
To be perfectly candid, it scares the living shit out of me sometimes. People and what they think it is okay to do to other people, especially me.
I usually read your blog each day but not always the comments or notice who the commenters are.
This will sound judgemental, but I can’t imagine what you describe–
folks who are regulars and then storm off and stop reading, for whatever reason. Or perhaps they still read but don’t comment.
Like you always say, you write so much here…. it can be easy to be misunderstood, rub people the wrong way, etc. Who knows.
Anyway, I guess I’m writing just to say: hey, I’m a regular reader, enjoy it, and have no plans to disappear (Cancer stellium in the 11th house– sextiling moon pluto conjunction in the 1st)
Wyrdling. Thanks again!
I got some hard blows by Pluto, but when you turn it around, they were pointing me toward lessons that are helping me – more quickly – get to where I’m going (at least that’s how it looks right now), so when I hear “pluto goes direct,” I almost want to crawl under my bed, but perhaps standing tall and taking it in is the only way…
Elsa, I found you a few years ago from Xanga. I’ve been hooked since then and along the way, came to care about what’s going on with you. I only have a handful of ghastly honest and direct people in my life; traits I cherish in friends. I love and admire your way of communicating.
I’ve fallen off the planet from time to time because of things happening around me. There were times when you seemed to disappear and then return. I don’t know what it is like to be close to you but I can certainly handle it from this distance; I’m still here!
I’ve had people I was close to turn on me. It’s always a shock to me and very painful. I have some quality that causes people to say or do things to intentionally hurt me. I’m looking hard to find that thing and filter it or put it in a box or learn to be a better judge of others to avoid that wrenching shock.
I think it has to do with being a strong personality; people don’t realize you have vulnerabilities so they blast away.
There’s been some things on your blog I don’t feel the same way about but I actually value other people’s opinions on different matters.
Personally I am really bothered by people telling what I am, or what I’d do (Sun/Uranus maybe) but you handle yourself very well, and you show your readers respect.
So thanks for that!
I value your work so much it’s hard for me to fathom people who can’t see beyond themselves to appreciate the service you provide us all.
Thanks for all your hard work! I for one will still be reading, as long as you’re writing!
Hmm… I have Scorpio on the 11th house cusp. I know the feeling [of having people “fall off”] very well, and I’m not going anywhere!:)
I personally enjoy being exposed to a piece of reality (i.e. the Soldier’s experiences and “soldier’s attitudes”) I otherwise would not come into contact with. Sagittarius rising; pick ‘n mix:)
“Diversity should be celebrated, for it is the birthplace of wisdom” – Fantasy writer Steven Erikson (he’s really good!;)
i admire you, Elsa…
If they go they are not good for you, and that is good news.
I relate. This dude called Pluto– he brings us something magnificent, then takes it away. I have natal Pluto in 11th..
Huh. I’ve fallen off the blog a few times. But then I have fallen off of my email, webreading and all at the same time when my daily life gets too busy I have to deal with the real shit in front of me. I always come back because I always learn something – either from Elsa or from the many very introspective comments here.
So, Elsa, keep going. And thank you.
mudlike – talking about a different kind of falling…
You are like a person who has not stopped in the bar for awhile for innocuous reason. These others have been 86’ed or shot the place up on their way out for some variety of reason.
It’s like there is this a bar here and every once in awhile some kind of shit happens! 🙂
“some kind of shit happens..”
Beyond the usual bar stuff…
“Ginger is out screwing people in the parking lot, Terry hasn’t paid his tab, Frank is flirting with Gretchen and Marcie is in here spying… and no she doesn’t know I know. And oh yeah, we’re out of limes. Could you stop and get some on your way in…” 🙂
Elsa I’m not going anywhere. You ever need someone to pick up some limes you let me know. 🙂
Been reading your blog every day for over a year. I check my email, read the news and go to Elsa’s. My day isn’t complete without it. And I wouldn’t leave either, unless you wanted me to 🙂
Cheers to you and your wonderful blog Elsa!
Little Miss Hermit – I love that quote. I thrive on having friends who are different from me, who challenge me and are not afraid to be themselves. Those differences are what stimulate me, it’s just not the same being surrounded with people who always agree. My Mars/Venus/Uranus needs some friction to keep it interesting!
Well, I may be waaay off base but the one I noticed “fall off” last year seemed to be having a reaction coming from an immature ego.
When middle age adults still have an immature ego they are still hypersensitive to being hurt or rejected by an authority figure(Elsa).
So at first they worship Elsa, they want to be loved and accepted by an authority figure,then they pick through every syllable that she writes looking for something to be upset about so that they can once again play out that dynamic from childhood.
Plus I’m sure that their natal chart and whatever transits they are going through comes into play as well.
I may be wrong Elsa, but hopefully this will help you feel a little better about the situation.
I have fallen off at times. Sometimes because my life is just too busy, and I cut out anything that isn’t dire. This blog but lots of other things, too. But I have fallen off on purpose once. That time, it was because I was in the grips of a projection. Having been through this before, I think falling off is sometimes the best option. It certainly beats shooting up the place or some other sort of thing.
I consider myself one of the new readers. New readers come as the old readers leave.
Pat of Pisces Chronicles referenced your blog for the Saturn Neptune series. I wandered over here to ponder the natal conjunction in both my and my husband’s charts. I read the Henry series and was hooked. Lots of Saturn (Cap) and Jupiter (Sadge) in my household.
I plan to be around for a while. Taurus rising here. I don’t comment much. I can piss people off without knowing it.
I can relate to loosing friends over the years. My husband and I have noticed a half a dozen or so of our friends from 20 to 30 years ago are now deceased, mostly for health reasons. We’d lost track of most of them – having a kid does that. Still, it’s a weird feeling to be a “survivor” simply because we made it past 50 years of age. Maybe it’s the Capricorn.
Best to you and and your family.
Thank you, Sue Allen. You people who pop up with stuff like this mean a lot… 🙂
I’m an old old timer – before the Xanga days, even. I don’t comment often; I usually feel like I don’t have much to add…esteem issues, and yeah, I’m working on them…but I read nearly every day.
Even if I appear to fall off, I’ll still be here reading. Sometimes life gets so out of control I can’t find words or time.
I try to start my days checking with Elsa’s eye on the sky so I know what to watch out for in general. (You should see the looks I get at work when I see what was posted here manifest in customers or co-workers and I mention it! Like having three heads, man.) Then I head over to Astro.com and check out the specifics, followed by a look at my chart with transits and progressions to try to put it together for myself one day.
I don’t have any plan on falling off now – not after all these years.
Blessings to you and yours.
I read you every day, through bloglines.
Don’t comment often because I suck that way… but I treasure Elsa’s eye on the sky, for the reasons Kris stated above. Even after years reading Astrology blogs, it continues to confuse me, but Elsa… you have always made Astrology understandable.
And I love your children, so I read to gratefully keep up with whatever bit you might share about them and your lives.
Always wishing you the best of times Elsa.xoxo
I had a similar time in my life last summer – I mentioned when you asked about depression earlier. Where I lost of a lot friends. I am still in it’s shadow, but it’s gotten better and somewhat (the volume of losses have tapered off, I started therapy and learning meditation, and [trying] to consciously follow the Law of Attraction).
But there was a specific moment where I started to heal. This what I wrote in my journal about that day. Thought you might relate.
“I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes.
I have lost so many friends this year. And to read that in type, it doesn’t sound like the kind of loss that should cause a deep grief. And yet – it has.
I almost wrote a post about two weeks ago titled “R.I.P. Friendships” with a list of the fallen. How many friends can you lose in 365 days?
It was like the world shrunk from having “warm spots” in it almost anywhere I turned or physically went, to a place where, if, in my head if there is a map with red dots marking the locations of my close friends (people who know my history and my heart), that map had suddenly had a power-outage and big portions of it had gone dark.
This Tuesday I checked my voice mail and heard voice. And I just started sobbing. It was like a dot lit back up and dimly glowed.
He asked me to call him back. When I called, I tried to mask the fact that I was crying. I know that behind the tears was the collective grief of all of the loss. And he couldn’t possibly understand or make sense of that.
I told him I was so glad to hear from him. He was calling to invite me to his wedding. [A wedding I thought I’d never get to see.]
It was like, in the world of Harry Potter, a wand had been pointed at my heart and someone had said, “Reparo”.
And I can hardly stop the flood of grief that surges up and just comes out my eyes when I think of this. There’s a damn in there, with all the grief walled up behind it. Not hidden – I’ve made no attempt to hide from it, but you need a tool to manage any river that threatens to swell and over run you at any moment.
I’m so glad and so grateful that some how, I managed to stumble over, in the game of life, a broken-off lost piece of my heart that can be re-attached. I imagine it as a tattered and kind of dirty piece picked up off the floor, say, from behind the couch among a bunch of crumbs and dusty debris. And it’s not going to just fit right back in and be like it was before – I see it as half-dead and darker than the rest. Might have to re-attach it with some duct tape. But it will feel good there – duct tape and all. It will feel just fine to me.
Forgot to mention in there – this appeared to be lined up with progression of moon into the 8th house.
Elsa, I’m new here; dropped in a couple of weeks ago (can’t recall how though) and check in everyday because much of what you write resonates with me, although I’m not yet sure why or how. (I have Sun + 2 in Scorp/8th; Moon combust(!) Pluto/6th and transiting Pluto now making its last conjunction to Mars/10th.)
I’ll have to spend more time here exploring your story, but courtesy of my pal Pluto, you may have added on a few of us Pluto-types – and for good. She/He is making a last stand before leaving my sister’s 11th house and just last week she tragically lost one of her dearest friends. Some of us saw that one coming. She didn’t.
Just busy…just rented my ol’ place on Friday, and we have been painting and slowly furnishing our new place. I think it’s just my SO is not used to me scouring astro blogs in the evening now that we are living together/married (all of three months!)…so my activity has definately diminished by a bit. I try to sneak peaks at work when I can.
I truly hope things are going better than well.
xoxo and best always.
Maybe it’s because I have extremely few (but deep) friendships that I just can’t wrap my head around this. And maybe it’s because I just haven’t lived long enough yet. *smiles* At any rate, I’ve been around for a few years now and barring something drastic I don’t see myself leaving any time soon. There’s a lot of people here that I’ve “adopted” and like to keep tabs on; including you and yours, Elsa. I hope it turns out like llama said and that all of these losses are just a way of making room for new energies.
So yar sayin’ that I’m drinkin’ at Elsa’s bar? Didner’t knew I were an al-co-holic. (or maybe that’s more properly put “an astroloholic)
ROFL the imagery Elsa. This is your bar here on the internet.
Well it’s true, mud. And by God, I was born for this shit.. That’s right, I am a born BARTENDER! How else could I walk into a bar at 15 years, get hired and kick ass?
I don’t know, Elsa. I’ve checked out all the other bars on the block, and this is where it’s at – BY FAR!
I’m behind on email, because I’ve been busy… I wasn’t going to comment again (even though the past ten days have been mostly good for me), because I’m still embarrassed, and was afraid that I might end up crashing and burning on your blog again (I want to make sure this weird energy is gone before I make a habit of talking too much with anyone outside of my own close circle). I don’t like spreading negativity, and there have been times when it felt as though it was emanating from me – that’s something I’m not used to, and it has to stop.
I’m still dropping in, here and there, to read, and am not “leaving” leaving… (at least if I’m still welcome here), and Elsa, your family is in my thoughts. <3
I briefly thought about never coming back, but that wasn’t going to happen… I like it here, and as I’ve said before, I like Elsa and her community – it’s just that I cringe whenever I visit, because of my own current history (I’m cringing right now, for obvious reasons). I have friends whose opinions I don’t agree with – my parents are included, right now, where politics are concerned – it’s just that I haven’t been dealing so well with some things, and it’s coming out of me in all the wrong ways.
Oh, and for the record: when I “imploded” here, I wasn’t mad at Elsa, I was worried that I’d offended her (and others) when I never intended to. I did feel defensive when I thought something was directed at me, but I wanted to clear things up, and, when thinking about a few of my posts, I could see where it could have applied to me.
Angela, for the record I have no knowledge of you crashing / burning or doing anything else out of the norm around here. Glad to see you..
Elsa: I wonder if I should do something like spend time reflecting on the people I have lost but find there is no time for that. It is as if there is a plague out there and some people contract the thing (randomly) and there is not a damned thing to do but move the bodies aside and wait for November and see who I’ve got left. And grieving? Well that’ll come later I suppose.
This is precisely what I’ve been going through. I’m mentally exhausted from trying to ‘process’ all of the loss recently. Either of friends, or of general changes in my life (and Pluto hasn’t even gotten into my 11th house yet – but it’s almost there…just 3 more degrees to go).
I will admit to being rather ‘numb’ from it all and somewhat burned out. It’s like…I want to feel…I wish I could just stop and grieve or ‘process’ these things but they happen so often and so fast anymore for me that I have to just ‘shut down’.