Synastry: My Saturn Squares His Mars

Hi Elsa!

My Saturn squares my male friend’s Mars. His Mars is in Leo, and I find small things like him sneezing or coughing too loud really, really annoying and off-putting. We tried to date years ago but it didn’t work out because I would undermine and emasculate him, and even though he is objectively handsome, I would sometimes be outright disgusted by him.

Do you think there’s a major difference if the Saturn person is male or female (in a heterosexual relationship)? Is disgust a common feeling for the Saturn person or is it just me because my Saturn is in Scorpio? How would a person with Saturn in Leo or Taurus feel?

Grossed Out
Finland

Hi, Grossed.

I don’t think it makes a significant difference whether a person is male or female, heterosexual or otherwise in a situation like this.  I also don’t think it’s common to feel disgust for a person who has Mars square your natal Saturn, regardless of the sign, though it’s possible.

I don’t have the charts to verify but I am not even sure that Saturn is involved when it comes to feelings of “disgust”.  Saturn would be indicated if you judge him, feel embarrassed of him in public or wish to control him. This seems a bit different.

I’m not sure what’s being triggered here. Revulsion seems a Pluto thing to me.  Attraction is associated with Venus. Saturn rejects. It sounds like you don’t like what you’re being served. That’s tracks to what you find tasteful.

I would look at Venus and I would look at Venus in your own chart to try to discern why you have such a strong reaction to something like, independent of this particular man.

Anyone else?

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Synastry: My Saturn Squares His Mars — 23 Comments

  1. ha — there are not many synastry aspects that are absolute don’t-go-there aspects, but mars/saturn contacts are for real — romantic relationship or not, put a continent between you…

      • i didn’t know about the saturn to mars; ive seen a woman’s saturn to a man’s moon and last decades. for example, actress Cancer sun and cancer venus Phoebe Cates married to Scorpio sun, Scorpio venus Kevin Kline, for many years with no problems, you dont hear any drama news. She was a stay at home mother/wife since 2001, she hasn’t worked actressing for a long time, and he has Aquarius moon, she has aquarius saturn. his mars is in leo opposite her saturn.

  2. A relationship with an ex-boyfriend was riddled with problems due to direct contacts in our synastry chart. In the beginning, our Virgo Venus (me) Virgo Mars (him) conjunction was romantic…then it fizzled out – remember we’re talkin’ “being of service” Virgo! Then, I realized my 11H Sagittarius Saturn was sandwiched between his 1H Sagittarius Sun and Mercury – boy, I became silently critical of just about everything he said and did. To add insult to injury, his 10H Virgo Mars/Saturn conjunction was squaring my Sagittarius Saturn. We advanced to butting heads regularly so we decided to amicably break up before it became ugly. The initial attraction was his 3H Aquarius Venus/Jupiter conjunction was conjunct my Aquarius ASC. In the end, I realized our relationship was never meant to advance beyond our bible study (11H) and social (3H) group friendship as his Sagittarius Sun and Mercury were found in my 11H.

  3. I think Elsa suggested that we look to Venus.

    If we look to our natal Venus, which House or Lord would attract us to quiet sneezers and quiet coughers?

    Maybe Venus in Taurus?
    Or Venus in the second house?

    Half kidding but half
    serious… a loud cough and sneeze would be disruptive to the Cozy Harmony craved by anyone who has Venus in Taurus?

    • You make a good point, Nancy Grady!
      My libra moon definitely feels loud/inappropriate/disruptive/ eruptions from unintegrated unconscious people as repellant.(my sister is Scorpio sun, Taurus moon, mars in libra 3degrees off my moon… it’s not her fault, but it’s hard for me to spend time with her, I just find it so offensive & gross)

  4. I have been married for 41 years to someone whose Mars squares my Saturn in fixed signs Leo and Scorpio. So, for us it wasn’t a deal breaker. (Maybe a reality check sometimes)

  5. My husbands Saturn in Gemini is opposite my Mars 🙁
    Its sooooo annoying!!! Its such a cock-block of my energies.

  6. My Saturn in Scorpio squares an ex lovers Mars in Leo. He intimidated me a lot. Every move he made I felt overly sensitive to. I unconsciously wanted to subdue his enthusiasm so I would not feel so overwhelmed. That’s how it played out for me.

    • Mars in Leo is so enthusiastic, now that I think about it, makes sense that a Scorpio Saturn would feel very insecure with this. They’re also fixed signs so it might be harder to adjust to each others ways.

      I never felt disgusted with him though, in fact it was probably impossible for me to feel disgusted because I was overly infatuated with him.

      • I would try to subdue him by staying silent when I probably should have spoken up. I would just give him looks. It was weird, lol. My saturn is in H3 conj pluto.

      • There’s so much more to look at between two people than just one aspect. Sometimes one aspect can take a front seat too.

        I experience the square like this:
        My Saturn is in the 9th house. Love to travel but not all day and all night. I tend to put the brakes on his Mars in Leo. He loves being the life of the party and I’m ready to go home already.

        But we have a lot of things like his Venus on my Moon and my Sun on his Asc. Yet, Our suns are square. That one worried me back in the 70’s. Back then it was considered a doomed relationship by some. Lol

        • “There’s so much more to look at between two people than just one aspect. ”

          You are correct. What I explained was mostly how that one aspect played out for us, but there were plenty of good aspects….which is why I was infatuated.

          Everyones synastry aspects are going to play out a little differently. As Elsa said its pretty important to look at individual charts. You havedone that….saturn in the 9th…okay where is his mars? What does his mars aspect natally. Wheres your venus? What does it aspect et….

          • yep. I agree. It’s endless, looking at synastry. With progressions and returns and pre natal eclipses, and so much more…….it’s fun. I’ve been away from astrology for a little while, being too busy with other things. I will enjoy being back more, and this forum will help me do just that.

          • La_Sirena i hope I didn’t speak out of turn or offend. Being infatuated as you stated can be difficult in any circumstance.

            It’s been a good while since I have participated much in an Astro forum. (Lots of reasons behind that) and I threw my comment out without any intention to sound judgmental but looking back it may have seemed that way. I sometimes speak out of turn and don’t take the time to give my full attention to a conversation especially online. I’m sorry I didn’t take more time to frame my comment better. With more compassion.

            I also understand how one aspect or connection between charts can be overpowering in effect.

            I wish you the best!

            • It happens… my comments probably sounded immature so I get why you responded that way. But I just wanted to clarify that I do indeed know that there is a lot more to consider than one aspect when it comes to how things play out in a relationship. But don’t worry about it. Cheers🥂

              • Your comments didn’t sound immature. I always cheer for love and I think I was hoping for you.
                I am sort of a hopeless romantic along with being a conservative older person.

  7. Explains why Capricorns and Cancers don’t like me, well half of them. I have Saturn in Libra, I square their Suns. Now it makes sense.

    Thanks Elsa, I have a new window now. Synastry is my new adventure.

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