8th House Perspective: Stabbed In Back? No Problem!


I’m often asked about this series of posts regarding the use of other people’s negative energy. I wrote this ten years ago but it’s the kind of thing that will never go stale. If nothing else, you should know that people like me are out here. We exist!

Hi Elsa,

Awhile back I read some advice you gave regarding betrayal. You wrote about the idea that if someone stabs you in the back, that knife is yours to keep forever. Now I’ve been pondering this, but have yet to figure it out completely. Would you mind enlightening me a bit more with expanding on why keeping the knife is seen as beneficial?

A Reader

Great question, thank you. Sometimes I say these things knowing they are home truths but not knowing no one knows what I am talking about!

First, I did not specify “back”. It has nothing to do with being stabbed in the back. I am talking about being stabbed, period. When someone stabs you, there is an energy exchange. If someone hits you, same thing. If someone oppresses you in any way they are giving you energy. If someone kisses you, same thing. If they yell at you or if they give you a present, they are transferring their energy to you and at the point the energy is yours and therefore it is yours to use.

I hold that energy is neutral until directed. So when this persons lashes out, you now have their energy and what you do with it is completely up to you. For the record, I learned this by being stabbed!  Someone stabbed me when I was 15 years old and I pulled the knife out of my arm and just looked at the guy like this: “What do you think you’re doing, fool? Who do you think you are stabbing, you idiot? Me?”

So think about that. He’s got all this rage and he sticks a knife in me. I immediately neutralized his energy. It was like a hard-on gone soft. I am sure I looked at him as if to say, “Try that again and I’ll kill you.” He didn’t stab me again.

It’s years later and I own that knife. Don’t you think? Who has the knife? Me? Or him? And don’t you think I’m just a tad fearless courtesy that experience?

So that is what I did with that energy as opposed to letting it crush me. As opposed to spending the next twenty years in abusive relationships, getting re-victimized. But let me come back with another example, not so extreme. Because this phenomena happens every day all around you and if you can get hip to this, the benefits are endless.

Are you adept at transforming negative energy? Tell us.

This became a series – Skip to part two.



8th House Perspective: Stabbed In Back? No Problem! — 64 Comments

  1. Oh yes. I know about this. Same experience here which saved me from …well rape probably. Looked the guy with the knife who said he was going to kill me in the eye and kindly asked him to try it on someone else. He left. I was 17. I wonder whether I would have the guts now. Seems that you need to keep practicing these skills. (but I pray not in those circumstances)

  2. I was stabbed just last week, actually. By a Scorpio who’s waited two years… All that was left to wonder was what form it would take. No biggie, it turned out. I saw this one coming for several months…:p
    My Sun is in Virgo/8th; My reaction most of the time is very similar to yours, Elsa.
    I just don’t do revenge. Wonder if this is one of the the fundamental differences between 8th house suns and solar Scorpios? Not all Scorpios do revenge, I’m sure;) But I know many of them and they all take revenge – eventually. I tend to trust that most people learn from their mistakes without my help – but then again, I’m terribly naive in many respects. Currently taking a lesson in realpolitik (Pluto in Cap square my Mercury).

  3. It’s a very valuable lesson and one it took me years to learn. My sun-pluto conj and scorpio rising could have led me down a way different path. I am feral in battle but I must pick very carefully or I end up destroying myself.

  4. Is that a Scorpio/Pluto/8th thing – transforming negative stuff?

    yes. all energy – any energy which means the meaner you are the luckier I get. 😉

  5. what bothers me more is when i feel like they’re trying to suck me dry… pull away my energy..
    which seems far easier to do with words…

  6. Or when someone quietly provokes you into slapping their face and you realize they’ve won, it’s a reference to when Uriah Heep provokes David Copperfield to slapping him.

  7. This is insanely interesting. I can say “yes” but I can’t answer fully I’ll have to ponder awhile. But I love your perspective on this. I just do.

  8. I remember this post Elsa – introduced me to a whole new way of thinking about this sort of thing! Gives you a victory you didn’t know you had; very eye-opening. Thanks for the reminder.

  9. Wow Elsa, I just got cussed out this morning with much negative energy it definitely felt like a knife stabbed in the pit of my stomach. After the call, got on the computer and clicked on your site and boy what a great thread to read this morning. At this point the negative energy is already transformed. Thanks Elsa you are the bomb!!! 🙂

  10. Well shoot, I am filled with envy.

    It must be so nice to get it right up front, to KNOW you’re being attacked, and with what, and where, and by whom!

    I could deal with that so easily, which is probably why that is not my situation at all.

  11. oh yeah. i have a dark sense of humor so negative energy entertains me (leo-scorpio).

    i am also able to neutralize negative energy by placing it within a wider perspective (9th house stellium).

  12. “Are you adept at transforming negative energy?”

    For instance, after I realized that this site is “open” meaning everything we write, albeit under pseudonyms, is ending up on google under our real names, I decided to keep on posting and USE this invasion of privacy in my own way and for my own purposes.

  13. Well it’s true, eva. You can read about it in my book. I was doing the dishes, see. And I pulled the knife out of my arm and tossed into the sink of hot water…glaring a death stare.

  14. Hey Mercingemini, I’m not sure about that. I googled my pseudonym and real name and neither came up. Perhaps though I chose a pseudonym that’s a little harder to track down.

  15. “Is that a Scorpio/Pluto/8th thing – transforming negative stuff?

    yes. all energy – any energy which means the meaner you are the luckier I get.”

    This makes me fear my next week’s solar return a bit less. 8th house stellium, of which sun square pluto and opposite uranus! Just hope I don’t get victimized in anyway…

    Talking about that, what is your opinion on Solar Return relocation? Or whatever it’s called when you move places on the Solar Return, so as to change it??

  16. Really need to read this today. My car was stolen over the weekend with so many things I loved including things I needed, school books for teaching, student work, external hard drive, clothes to laundry, paperwork, private and sentimental things–as I am constantly on the go and live out of that car. My car was found yesterday in a not so nice neighborhood. The catalytic converter is gone and the door is busted. Not good. The car isn’t driveable as of now. But I cried over the things that were important to me that can not be replaced, things that are archived with love and sweetness. Deep sigh. All the while, I have felt anxious and restless, trying to work out of some kind of alchemical equation in my head. And I so needed to hear “the energy is yours and therefore yours to use.” Hearing that was just what I needed to solidify the direction I could feel myself moving in. I am quickly making some empowering decisions now. Thank you.

  17. A less extreme example in my own life. My ex is trying to “stick it” to me as we separate. He keeps upping the ante on possessions to take from the marital home and lessening what he wishes to contibute, raising the heat slowly to boil me with my well known security issues. Instead of letting it totally cook me, I’m using the energy to re-evaluate my relationship with material things.

  18. How weird.. I had been thinking of this past post of yours Elsa for the last couple of weeks. I was racking my brain trying to remember how it went. Last time you posted it I had questions about it- similar to the other reader. Thank you so much for posting it again, I’ve gained a much deeper understanding. I’ve recently had some heavy duty energy coming at me which I realize now I successfully neutralized. 🙂

  19. It must be pluto in scorp–no other scorp/8th house to speak of–but I have always secretly enjoyed a little oppression here and there. I guess I’ve instinctively known the benefit of it, and how to use it to my advantage. Also why I am not likely to seek revenge on someone, just not worth it. “Worth” being the key word, it COSTS you to stab someone. Thanks for this Elsa, I had forgotten about it and felt very confused as a result (scorp in my 4th house, foundation!) This post has helped me put the pieces together, without power/energy I have no base and literally nothing is possible. I needed this!

  20. Just to clarify- I dont seek the knife but if you get it then might as well see the bright side. That’s what I was trying to say.

  21. I had a guy try to hold up my store – never saw an actual gun, just the bulge in his pocket. It was lunchtime, normally a busy time. I looked at him incredulously and said, “Are you crazy??? There’s a cop posted right there on the corner, and customers are going to start pouring in any moment!” He said, “Is there really a cop?” I said “yes, ever since they cleaned up the park down the street, and the traffic moved here!” He backed out of the store quite fearfully.

    I then went to report this to the officer on the corner, but there was no officer there at all.

  22. My take on the phrase is this

    Sometimes when one stabs you in the back they actually give you ammo in the process to use against them. So in a way arming you in case you ever wanted to escalate the violation.

    The other part I have taken from this is, if it is good enough for you to do this to me then it should be good enough for me to do to you, watch your back type of thing, then hold that over their head for a while.

  23. Elsa, In my personal life you are absolutely correct, I wouldn’t want to waste my time with such people.

    But sometimes in places in peoples lives like work when dealing with a particular person is not really a choice, I know for myself anyways, I am forced to deal with these types all the time and cannot just distance myself from them. However I don’t allow them to do these types of things twice. Usually giving them all the rope they need gets them out of my way as they usually end up becoming their own worst enemies.

  24. I have to say I love , love, love this post! I get stabbed everyday. Everyday! I have not forgotten how to give the death glare. lol Thank you for posting this wonderful reminder that we are so much more powerful than we realize.

  25. Yes I am! I never lose. I’m not a winner in the traditional sense. But I’ve never come up against a person, situation, hardship, idea or belief that left me with less than I had before. I have a strong drive to make sure that I get something from every exchange. Even if it’s just a lesson. It scares some people close to me. But my faith in myself and the universe is rock solid.

  26. So many knife stories. Here’s one: at 5 years old a 16 year old girl held a knife to my throat and said she was going to kill me. I started to talk about what lovely weather we were having and how much I was enjoying that. She hesitated, lowered the knife. I stepped away. She slit the knife back into the holder. When I got older I wrote a song about it. Thank you Elsa for this example.

  27. I have a Mars-Moon conjunction so highly emotional reactions was always my way of dealing with hostile situations which only led to more knives. More than I knew how to deal with. Until I learned how much control people could have over me by pushing my buttons, I stopped giving in and put my boundaries up. Stopped responding to their bullshit altogether. Once they lose the ability to provoke me, they don’t know how to deal. It comes down this: people like that are often shadowboxing and I’m not interested in being a proxy. ?

  28. There’s so much meat in this I am going to have to come back and read it a couple more times. Good stuff here….comments and all. I don’t know how I missed it. Things like this always come around at the most important times. Like, when you need them…..

  29. A few days ago riding the transit I started at the beginning of the route and there were two rough looking people, a man and a woman in the back and about 10 other people spread out. The woman was playing music straight out of her phone extremely loud, even though she had headphones attached to her phone. No one said anything, me included because I didnt know what to say, knowing basically that to simply ask her to turn it off or down was not going to work and would just induce a useless argument. The man she was with would casually insult her as well, ‘shut your fat mouth’, etc.

    As the ride continued more people got on the I noticed at one point the woman turned off the music. But as more people kept getting on she turned it back one. The bus is now PACKED, all seats taken up and people standing smushed together. Evenutally a few people tried to get her to turn it off but these two banded together and began to insult, threaten, and scoff at everyone causing a scene. Getting what they wanted. Attention. I feel like the music was both to get attention but also a means of protection to them in a way.

    I think the woman said something to another passenger and suddenly I found myself turning around and just STARING at them. That’s all I did. They noticed and turned all of their energy on to me. At first I was like ‘What am I doing?!’ But I didn’t say anything just kept staring and pretty quickly they got more irate but also uncomfortable. Telling me to turn around, that I was instigating (ahaha). I politely told them I couldn’t turn my ears off so I was just going to continue to stare. This went on for about ten minutes.

    The woman called me names, the guy did as well. On passenger spoke up in my defense ‘I think you’re beautiful!’ I turned and thanked her and continued to stare at these two. Inside my heart was pounding. I could feel energy moving around and each time they insulted me I felt it but outwardly I found myself instinctively cracking a grin or simply nodding.

    The time came where their stop came up. (also the woman for the most part couldn’t look directly at me, she’ stare out of the window. The guy was wearing sunglasses so he’d look over and I’d just stare into the centre of those glasses, thinking in my head ‘chill out’) They had to pass by where I was sitting and for a moment I got scared, ‘what if one of them did attack me?’. I felt if that actually happened then I’d switch out of my neutral mode and defend myself as needed so I felt strong. The woman walked by me and glared at me. I looked up at her and said ‘I hope you have the best day’ and I was serious. She scoffed and said ‘now you’re just being a smart ass.’ ‘No,’ I replied. ‘I mean that sincerely.’ She looked down at me one last time and I met her gaze, opened eyed and unblinking.

    When they got off the bus the guy started a fight with another rough looking guy on the street.

    I don’t know what prompted me to do that as it’s not something I usually do. But I’m glad I did it and am glad to have felt the ability to revert negative energy without using the same energy.

  30. It would be great to have something tangible like a knife from my sociopathic malignant narcissist brother. His stuff is done in secret (Scorpio) and he’s got a Leo Moon (lots of people think he’s wonderful-hail fellow well met, life of the party, funny upbeat joking, etc.), but his Virgo sun is very, very judgmental. A dangerous person. His anger seems to be directed at me, the black sheep/scapegoat of the family, seen as weak, which people like him despise. This asshole has made sure he’s untouchable by anything I might do. No Contact, my only alternative.

    • That’s the way the story usually goes Starcrest. Narcissists, the real ones, not ‘narcissists’ like Kim Kardashian, or Paris Hilton, usually are well liked. Because they’ll be darned if people find out that they’re a jerk. It would hurt their ego.

      It’s ashamed that most narcissists come off as the ‘aw shucks, gee golly’ types to people outside of our families. Because behind the scenes, they’re a venomous snake.

      The jerks get all the good attention while you look like a crazy person, or a brat if you tell people the truth.

  31. An 8th house perspective for sure. If it werent for this blog, I don’t think I would ever have been able to make sense of the way the 8th is about the transformation of energy. It helps me undertstand why I feel subtle energy exchanges so intensely.

  32. Reminds me of a date I had that almost turned into a date rape.WE were kissing and all of a sudden he had me down and on top of me. Something told me if I resisted it would make it worse so I went limp with my whole body and calmly said {HIs Name} If and when we have sex I would like to have a say in it. I think the resistance is what he was looking for as he stopped and took me home.

  33. Also I am wondering if it is the age of when the initial abuse happens whether one is likely to have that abuse repeated as an adult ; as the younger one is, it might impact the sub conscious more.

  34. Hi Opalina, I am not sure of the birth time, but he has a Mars-Moon-Pluto conjunction in Leo, and with the birth time from mother’s memory the Scorpio is all contained in the 2nd house (Taurus). Very materialistic and obsessed with money. His Saturn is also exactly conjunct my Venus so there’s that too.

  35. Yes, anonymoushermit, that’s exactly how it is. It’s taken a lifetime of working on not caring. I’ve read Elsa’s book (read it!) and marvel at how she didn’t take on the victim role. Any kind of spunk I showed was quashed immediately, whereas Elsa just kept going with it due to her own personal makeup. And, our astrology and temperaments are different hence a difference experience.

  36. Not everyone will agree with this, but I think Elsa might. I was thinking about learning to receive and use the energy that’s been used against you – and what came to mind was Christ’s Resurrection from the dead (and that does seem 8th house). Whether you are Christian or not, I think Elsa is on to something – transforming that energy that’s been used against you can potentially be incredibly powerful. This has been an eye-opening post for me, Elsa. Thank-you.

  37. good words,energy is in everything tangible or expressed
    we are all in constant need of, usage of;like my car needs fuel[energy] work[energy] for food,wood[energy] for heat music[energy] for treasured mysteries in our mind[energy]constant state of exchange
    its wicked windy here,gonna go pump up my mood and later
    magically turn them into pies

  38. As a natal Scorpio Pluto on the 1st house and Scorpio Saturn/Pluto on 2nd house…I learned almost after 30 years of being a cutting board to everyone’s Narcissim, scapegoating, emotional abuse, betrayal, fragile ego, insecurity, delusion, guilt trips and denial. I VALUE the knives that have been constantly thrown at me and my family. I unconsciously kept a lot of knives in storage without knowing and recently for the past 3 years, ive been throwing them all back now to it’s original owners. They were never my knives in the first place and I didn’t like bleeding from wounds I didn’t deserve. I use the knives to cut people out of my life and keep it around to make sure they don’t come back. If I had 30 years of abuse, then I would have 30 knives to use. I don’t feel bad because I didn’t ask for these knives and they don’t belong to me. Powerful. Healing. Transforming.

  39. Well, I went through every post in this little set and it is exactly, exactly calibrated to where I am and very very profound. In fact, the only reason I am here and not playing music is tiredness.

    There is a lot to say on this, including a not so positive point that Bob Dylans ‘positively fourth street’s’ is thought to be about Phil Ochs and was assumed as Phil Ochs before it became socially incorrect to say so… Ah, the pull of Saturns lair. For me though I always listened to it as being about a group.

    ‘When you know as well as me, you’d rather see me paralyzed. Why don’t you just come out once and scream it!’

    … You know the types that are being nice to you in speaking terms but in behaviour are undermining you.

    Also, I use a technique often myself that is apparently so powerful it was used by some survivors in concentration camps with positive effects which is visualisation. I am constructing memory palaces and many different rooms/ programs of different things. I can literally go for a jog in the forest. I can go there when I am forced into a situation I can’t withdraw from. Like a bad work day.

    There are a lot of different directions to go with this comment. It could start off a books worth of information. But one point I think is relevant is Tai Lung from Kung Fu Panda. I know it’s an animation but I analysed Tai Lungs fighting style to see how he manages to take down most of the other characters so easily and I like how he attacks, the opponent counters and he has already prepared and uses the counter to further his attack; mostly the opponents counter helps him more than them. In general, negative people do not prepare for the counter because they are stuck in the adrenaline high of taking someones energy. But this technique, although sometimes unavoidable, is not without cost. You are essentially allowing your opponent a free attack before you make your move.

    There are a lot of other songs which describe a dark situation, such as Hoziers ‘take me to church’ about gossips, Metallica’s ‘Nothing else matters’ with many covers – ‘… Never careful what they do.’ The Delgados ‘I fought the Angels’ about BEING the gossip and losing all her friends.

  40. I guess I’m just not good at transforming people’s energy into my own at all; when they lash at me, I simply stand there and take it to the face. And it kills me from inside, and takes time for me to recover.
    I experience this despite having a packed Scorpio-ruled 8th house (Sun/Mercury and Jupiter/Pluto). I guess part of the problem is my Taurus Moon, as well as that my Jupiter/Pluto is the center of a T-square with Mars and Saturn. I feel that I can’t stand up for myself, instead simply remain quite and try to outlast the problem (perhaps that’s where my Moon-Saturn sextile comes into play?).
    Nevertheless, when someone stabs me, I bleed, until I die or someone comes around and bandage me. I have rarely recovered on my own,and when I do, someone is always around, and when they leave, the mending wound is reopened, bleeding.

  41. Interesting how relevant this is today. We’re all moving through ‘something’. Our world is definitely going through deep change. Bullying is rampant. Knives are semi-automatics. I get what Elsa means about someone transferring their energy to us. It takes me down, for a while. Cancer Sun/Moon, but then I alchemize the situation. There’s the Scorpio. Elsa does it quickly, in the moment. It can take me years. But I am a hell of lot stronger for it. I personally have no need to throw it back, but the energy is there, stored. Eventually someone will attempt to ‘knife’ me and they’ll look into my eyes where it’s all stored and they’ll back away wondering what just happened.

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