Space In Relationship – Letting Friendship Breathe

Today I talked to my friend, cf perez. I’ve not talked to her much for a a couple months because she (re)met a man and began to fall in love. There are some people who fall in love with their friend in tow but others who fare better if they’re allowed to be swept up into the new relationship unfettered and cf is of this ilk, I’d say.

In whatever case I took my energy (and burdens) completely off her so she would be freer to bond with the man which is exactly what happened. She’s very happy, the relationship came up out of nowhere but she and the man (a Capricorn) are both committed and she sounds great on the other side of this void.

The void was significant because while our friendship spans a number of years and we have had periods of both frequent and infrequent contact, we have talked 4-5 times a week if not daily over the last year or two so when this connection shut down, I noticed.

I noticed but I thought it was right in both directions. Having Uranus in the 7th, I think friendships (and other relationships) can benefit from having space from time to time so while she had some falling in love to do, I thought it was just as well I separate my thinking from hers… move outside her influence and see where I wound up on my own volition.

Reconnecting today, it was apparent that we’d both made major strides. Our hearts and minds are still connected, but she is over there now ——>

And I am here —————–>

I really appreciate this kind of relationship as it can be sustained.

Do you let your loved ones breathe?



Space In Relationship – Letting Friendship Breathe — 14 Comments

  1. Oh yeah. One of my best friends actually travels around the country with various Renaissance festivals. At first, it was hard to understand how to sustain a relationship that way. But now I just let her do her thing, call her every once in a while, and make sure to hang out if she’s nearby. It’s really nice to know that it’s possible to have that much space and still maintain a deep connection.

  2. I just went through this exact sort of thing. My oldest friend, who I’d had nearly daily contact with for 2 years, went through some life changes, as did I. When we stopped communicating frequently I had to ask myself why I felt so calm about it, when perhaps I should be worried I was losing my friend. We still haven’t talked very often lately, but with how intense our friendship got, I think it needed to cool down a little and enter back into a more neutral territory. We still think of each other as close friends anyway. My two cents, plus I also have a 7th house Uranus.

  3. Yes, I am not demanding of anyones time, let alone my friends. I’m very close to a lot of my girlfriends, but I don’t like hanging out with any of them too much…
    This is the case with all of my relationships (husband, parents, etc). I just need space.
    Venus in the 11th 🙂

  4. Sometimes? *lol* I have Pluto bound up in all that shit, so there are times that I want to be in deep and expect everyone to be right there with me. But I also have an Aquarian Moon and am fine with letting others have their own time when they need it, especially because I do realize that at times I can be too intense to handle in anything but small doses.

  5. Hi darling,

    Actually, Richard and I are “senior citizens” now, though we originally met and nearly married in 1983-84. We were ages 33 (moi) and 42 (him), and now we are 57 and 66. I met him before he became a character actor on the 1984-89 tv hit, “Night Court,” playing “Bull” the bailiff.

    My mother had died about six months before he had asked me to marry him; I couldn’t “go into the light” the brilliance that an actor’s life takes on when participating in that immense popularity… I wanted to shrink into a dimly lit place where I could thread my thoughts one after the other…

    Then four years ago, it turned out his marriage was failing… he just wanted to connect, “I’ve been thinking about you for years.”

    Last October, when the Uranus/Saturn opposition was in progress, it was directly aspecting my Mercury (ascendant double-gemini ruler) at 19 Taurus. It was turmoil! (Like everyone else!) But he wanted to stay a few days and we talked, walked, talked and kissed, tasted wines in Wine Country, and kissed some more.

    I had a sextile of progressed Venus to my Venus in Taurus… and she delivered.

    We are living together and it is a beautiful, happy, late-in-life love story… with LOTS of space.



  6. Aww, that is so an adorable story of love.

    I have certain friends, one in particular, where we simply don’t talk for months, and sometimes years. But, we are always connected and when we do talk it is completely natural. I find it comforting to have that type of relationship.

  7. Great story! I loved that television show. I hope your life together continues to unfold in the romantic way it has thus far.

    What Pisces said describes perhaps the majority of my friendships throughout my life.

  8. Thanks, cf, for giving us the scoop – and here’s some warm wishes, congrats and cheers on the finding (and re-finding) of love – good for you!

    I have an empty 7th in Taurus, but I have been blessed with a few very good and very old friendships that are like yours with cf, Elsa. We may only talk once a year, or even less, but man we can pick things up like we just sat in my dusty livingroom and had coffee this morning and I love that – no matter what’s going on the connection is still there and we just pick up where we left off – one of my favorite things.

    And Bull was my favorite on that show! What a trip that he shows up in this love story – I think this is my favorite Valentine’s Day story of all!

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