The empty-nest-thing hit me like a brick. Once it happened, it was easy to understand why. I’d spent twenty years driving kids to school – now what? I didn’t see the shock of this coming, even though my husband had warned me. Among other places, I mentioned this here: Empty Nest – How Do You Moms Deal With This?
Now I am working with single mothers whose children are headed out the door. I feel so much compassion for them. Invariably the moon or the 4th house is involved. Often it’s both.
Generally it’s a Saturn or Pluto transit. Often it’s both.
I was married when this hit me, but I still felt this incredible loss and loneliness. I was so used to being someone’s mother…it really forces you figure out who you are going to be once your kids fly the coop.
I’m posting this so that single mothers who have lived through this might be able to offer advice or give ideas to women who are headed into the experience at this time. Because, dang. I just want to say to them, “Come to my house so you don’t have to be alone”.
What do you think?
Thank you! My eldest will be leaving home next year and I’m already in a full blown panic. When he was born I never knew how much I could love and the thought of him leaving home, me, seems like it’s going to leave a gaping hole in my heart. It’s comforting to know Im not the only one 🙂
This one will slip on like a cashmere sweater, easy peasy
You got this sissy, there will be such a beautiful peace
You feel and hear and see; the day offers so much
Deep breaths,time disappears, so remind yourself
Of the things listing during your life
“Oh when I find time I am going to…”doors open
Mine are still young but I know this will creep up over time. Sending one to school for an entire day is an adjustment. I still have 2 with me for now. I can’t say I’m looking forward to the empty nest one day, and letting them out into the world. I want to smother them with protection. But that’s not really a mother’s job. I hope I can raise them well so that when they do go, they’ll be ready even if I’m not. And they better visit me!!!
My Progressed Moon had just ingressed into my 12H when my youngest left for college. Talk about isolating!
Remember between the ages of 18 – 21, Tr Jupiter, Tr Saturn, and Tr Uranus will square their positions in the natal chart. A young person will feel compelled to escape from their home and parental “restrictions.”
Definitely feeling this more each day. I know it’ll be hard. Already three years out experiencing the prelude. Son has been talking about college since 5th grade. He’s very independent but still around. Know when he leaves I’ll be unfettered for a time.
Most pressing concern now is the whole learning to drive thing. Two weeks before graduation two friends died in car crash, so driving is a high anxiety stressor. He will be an excellent driver, but I worry about the other idiots on the road.
As with all stage I adapt and figure it out. But dreading it. Makes me try to enjoy the moments now and not let them slip by as fast.
Thank you very much for talking about this, I’m touched by your compassion — no one wanted to hear about it when I was going through it. I had to deal with it in 2015. Bereft is the only word to describe how I felt. I don’t have any other family, so I felt like I suddenly didn’t have anyone. My son & I are very close & we get along very well; we both have Mercury in Libra, so we can talk & talk & talk — in fact, he’s my favorite person to talk to. I had a particularly hard time, due to the isolating circumstances in my life at the time. If I had any advice to offer, it’s this: Prepare yourself, at least a year before — go out and take dancing lessons, whatever, just get something new going in your life. It won’t replace the relationship that one has with their child, but it’s essential to meet new people & strike out on a new path oneself.
A year of prep at a minimum!!