I recently grew aware of how bad I was behaving, and I’ve been told some aspects of my charts do explain some. But I need advice to “cool it down” since to me I’m just a bubbly easy going girl and it’s all these other people that keep on telling me I’m actually awfully aggressive. But I don’t do it on purpose. I don’t even notice I’m acting this way so I have no idea how to get better. I’ve lost a lot of my friends over the last year, people tell me I’m getting even worse I don’t know why or how, I really need all the advice I can get!
I feel for you in your situation, because I’ve experienced this myself. I will never forget the day someone, who routinely talked to multi-millionaire business leaders, told me that he was scared to death to get on the phone with me.
At the time, I didn’t know what he was talking about. I’m Italian, I swear, I’m from a loud family. All these things were normal to me.
After this man told me how difficult I was, I asked others if they agreed with him. They did, universally. I thought what you thought – how can I fix something I can’t see?
The whole world is rarely wrong so I forced myself to try to work on this. I tried to talk slower, listen more and swear less.
Over time, I learned how words can cut like a knife. I also learned that it’s not necessary or desirable to be obnoxious.
As for your chart, you’re a double Sagittarius, with a 9th house Aries Moon. You have Mercury in Sagittarius and Mars in Virgo square Jupiter in Sagittarius.
With a chart like this, challenging people with aggressive speech, and pushing your beliefs would come naturally. It’s no wonder you’re not aware of this. Here’s another story:
Years ago, I wrote on a large astrology mailing list. This was before everyone had a digital camera so no one knew what anyone looked like. Eventually, we figured out how to get our pictures online. I sent mine to be scanned and posted.
I chose a pretty picture. It was super-feminine, to the point of being demure. I was Libra’d out, wearing a dress with an off-the-shoulder neckline!
People could not believe it. Numerous people told me they had assumed, by my writing, that I looked like a Mack Truck. I was as shocked as they were.
You and are are just a bit too amped up get along with the masses. We can either stream-roll everyone and everything in our path…or we can back off the throttle and have some friends.
After working on this for fifteen years, I’ve learned to be in a room and not command it. I don’t enjoy this, by the way. Constantly having to STFU does not come natural to me, and I doubt it ever will.
But I do keep my friends now. And there are other benefits to being conscious of how you come across…
This way of being is not a curse! It’s a gift and a curse.
For example, I started tending bar when I was fifteen years old. I just got behind the bar, the very first day, and took over. Knowing you have this kind of ability is a positive. If I walk into a crisis situation and I want to take over, I can!
Think about it. There has been a shooting and you’re right there. This is when you want to call up your BIG voice.
“YOU! Call 911! IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE? WE NEED A TOURNIQUET OVER HERE! SIR, USE YOUR BELT..!”
So there’s the ticket. Gain understanding, get control of yourself and ultimately use your ability when necessary or otherwise appropriate.
Have you ever stumbled on one of your blind spots? Were you able to address it?
Have a question? Ask here – please include your city or country. This keeps things interesting!