“She Hates Me…”

stoolI was talking to a gal, who told me  that person in life hates her. I know the story pretty well. I objected to her opinion.

“I don’t think she hates you,” I said. “I never got that impression.”

“She doesn’t?”

“I don’t think so. Hate? I don’t think she feels hate for you at all.”


“Really.  You never do anything to her. You’re really nice to be around. I think she thinks you are a stool, and you’re mistaking this for hate.”

“A stool?”

“Yeah. Like a footstool. An ottoman. Something you lay your clothes on…you know. You take off your coat and want to put it somewhere, so you put it on the stool. Not an ottoman – that’s too big.  A stool, okay?”

“I get it.”

“Yeah, whatever she wants to get rid of, she puts it on you.  You’re handy. You know now you can kick a stool and prop a door open with it?”


“Well that’s what she does. A stool is useful. You don’t hate it.” I hesitated. “It’s better then being treated like a toilet, okay?”

She laughed.

Where do you lay your coat, when you don’t want to be bothered with it? Is there a person who serves as a stool in your life?

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“She Hates Me…” — 17 Comments

  1. My virgo rising always hangs it up in the proper place and I do it with honor and yes, my clothes are color coded… until my gemini moon comes into the room and throws it all about the place.. so I’m kind of a meticulous slob..but that’s probably not what you meant.

    I would LIKE to have a stool/person to throw things on – or at…then there is this daughter who I’m ready to strangle right now.. oh maybe that’s what you were looking for.

  2. YES! The only thing is, I won’t let her do it! We fight every few months and I always win. I’m just tired of the routine. I’m Aries/ Taurus Rising/Scorpio Moon; she’s Aquarius. You’d think after years of doing this and never winning that she’d get a clue wouldn’t you? Now I walk around with a chip on my shoulder, always ready with my dukes up. That’s not my true personality but I never know when she’s going to start up again.

  3. no, I couldnt treat someone like that. And, I wouldnt want to be treated that way either. that’s just using someone for your personal needs. not right.

  4. No stool – used to have one, my first boyfriend. I hated doing that when I realised what I was doing.
    Now I am a stool for a few people, recently for my crazy ass housemate, who is basically giving me all the passive aggression that she has within her because her life is confused at the moment (not that mine is any better but I just don’t do that to people anymore)

  5. I think the boards are my stool. When I can’t carry any more, or get to hot, I strip it off into a post on the boards. But I’m going to think on this more be sure I’m not using someone as my stool, not even to prop a door open.

  6. What a great image, metaphor to be a stool (and not a toilet) is something worth knowing in the daily experience of a human in training:) Thanks for such a practical and funny view.
    @ltg: I like how you see the boards as your stool.

  7. I get the impression that a “stool” is someone that is (from a birdseye perspective) which is what most people do when looking in from the outside, is that they are “invisible” to the other person. They aren’t hated, or loved, but more about just “there”…..which is almost as bad as being hated. But, at least you won’t get the brunt of the intense emotion, if for example, you’re not into that. Being invisible is and can be a good thing.

  8. No stool here either. People in my life get angry at me when ‘ I’ crack and break down.

    I forget sometimes and freak. Had a bad reaction to a deep tooth cleaning and panicked. Called the emergency number cuz me body was going numb on one side. I was a frantic patient. The dentist still holds a grudge against me for that and makes snyde comments like I am gonna sue him or something. I just was scared and cried help because I didn’t understand what was happening and needed counsel. So much for that.

    • That’s horrible, notch. I am sorry. I hope you find a kinder dentist. Many of them nowadays are sensitive to people with dental anxiety <3

      • He is such a rockin mechanic with the teeth. And I love his hygienist. So I stick with him. I made a comment to the hygienist last time about him and I think she cleared it with him. Will see. The strange thing is that he is now offering money off work if patients refer new cliets. If biz is hurtin maybe I’m not the only one who was getting the snarl??? He does good work.

  9. My boyfriend and I are immensely passive aggressive and we tend to project/vent at and on each other. Its become a more obvious problem since we’ve moved in together. We’re both kinda reclusive by nature so we have few other “stools” to use. We’re very good at bottling our emotions and watching them burst all over the place. We have a lot of scorpio between us so this hot drama is pretty normal, but obviously not ideal… and something we’re getting progressively better at resolving.

  10. I’m a stool sometimes, because that happens when you offer therapy or help of any kind. But I try to not stay in that role and be assertive. Power struggles sometimes ensue. No one is going to throw something on me when I’m ready to rip it up.

  11. There are 2 kinds of men and women. They both give and give that’s when they become public toilet.
    Everyone does their job and woots… and some return and some never to return. But you still take shit! It’s time to make changes for better or worse move else where or find a small country where familiarity breeds compassion.

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