Am I A Selfish Masochist?

Dear Elsa,

My relationship with my husband has been such an emotional roller coaster. Over the past three years, we’ve disagreed constantly. The turmoil in our relationship has spilled over into every other aspect of our lives: kids, friends, family, jobs, etc. But we’re determined to stay together.

My question is will we ever be at peace with each other… or are we just selfish masochists?

Wondering,
Wife at War

Dear Wife,

There is no way I am going to call you a “selfish masochist”, although I’m definitely impressed with the term. Will you ever be at peace in your marriage? I don’t think so. You didn’t send your husband’s data so I don’t know what his story is, but your chart shows extreme challenges in partnership, exactly as you describe.

So no, there’s no cavalry coming. You will have to do a truly enormous amount of work to function well in partnership with anyone. I’m sorry! But I don’t think you will find peace for you without dedicated effort.

That said, an astrologer could take this apart for you. Elucidate the situation. A therapist could help as well. I’d recommend both. If you decide to take a hard look at yourself, you may just become fascinated. Good luck.

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