I carry a heavy secret these days. I continue to confide in Mr. and Mrs. Frick & Frack, along with a few others, because they “don’t run their mouth”, as Mrs. Frick likes to say. There are a lot of other people pressing me for information. I’ve clammed up tight.
I like a lot of the people who are trying to get me to talk. I like some of them a lot. But I’m still not going to confide in them because they just can’t help themselves – they gossip. It’s a gossip network. It’s an entire culture. “Well, I heard this…”
“X told me, Y…”
“I’m not supposed to say anything but…”
There is no way I would introduce personal information into someone involved in a circle like this, unless I deliberately wanted to use the leaky mouth to disseminate information.
It’s a true struggle. I don’t want to lose connection to people I have built relationships with but I just can’t share anything with them. I’m wondering if I might TELL them why this is. I have never done anything like this in my life. I wonder what would happen.
“I’d love to talk to you. I would like to hear your opinion. But I can’t talk to you(s), because you can’t keep a confidence… er, you gossip all the time.”
It seems if I say something like that, I will wind up losing the friend(s) anyway. The truth hurts!
This is all part of my moving back towards the fringe of life. I’d rather not leave a trail of hurt and confused bodies behind but I just don’t know how to avoid it. I CAN’T AFFORD to have people blabbing, see? It would be like some bad game of telephone running through a community and I would have to deal with it.
Consequently, I can’t explain beyond saying I have some personal issues to deal with. Then people think I can resolve them in a week or two, when I cannot. It’s just going to be left hanging there…for months, most likely. Maybe a year?
I wonder, if you’re a blabber, how you feel, reading this. I am not judging you. I don’t want anyone to feel bad. It’s none of my business how others run their lives. But do you realize people can’t talk to you? They avoid you speaking to you? They use you, when they want information spread, indirectly?
I suspect you do know all this but I’m curious enough to ask anyway.
I’m thinking of several (real life) people when I say, they are exceptional friends in many ways. But I just don’t think they have the capacity to keep their mouth shut for more than 24-48 hours, even if asked, directly. Why is this?