I am a young Scorpio struggling to overcome a painful and embarrassing problem. I am afraid of women. Granted, this problem has a great deal to do with my parents, my childhood, and upbringing. But I have the same urges as the typical Scorpio. I feel lust and desire just like anyone else does. Coupled with this is a desire to be on the dominant side, which is part of what scares me.
I am very afraid of being in an intimate situation with a woman because it would mean sacrificing what control I exert over myself. It would mean putting myself in a position where I would be vulnerable, and could be hurt. And I grow frustrated when I feel myself becoming aroused or excited by a woman, because it feels like I am failing myself and being weak. Is there something in my astrological make-up that helps explain this, or whats more, that can help me put an end to it? I am in my mid twenties, and I don’t want to still be a virgin past 30.
Yeah, you sound just like your chart. But here’s the thing. It’s just energy. You are just this ball of intense energy and at the moment this is what you do and how you live with yourself. But it only a way in a sea of alternatives so whatever you do, don’t give up hope. Because changing your life and the way you express yourself is completely within your capabilities if you opt to choose a new direction. But right now, you are not choosing a new direction.
For example when you feel an urge, rather than act on it in any way, you squelch and berate yourself over it – and as long as you continue to act in this manner it’s pretty clear that nothing will change. Which means that what happens is entirely up to you and it’s very important you register this fact. No one is going to do anything about this but you. No once CAN do anything about this buy you and this is important on two levels.
First, you see that you are in control of what happens to you and secondly you that your problem (if you opt to define it that way) is your responsibility. These are concepts compatible with your chart. So say the next time you have an urge your decide you are going to do something and that something can be anything (that is legal). For example… and this may piss you off, but I never talk down to Scorpio, so here is comes straight – what occurs to me is you find yourself a surrogate. And I may take some heat for this but I’ll tell you what.
I am trying to do as you ask. I am trying to help you put an end to this and when you’ve gone this long it seems a little stupid to me to say, “just ask the nice girl out”. You are clearly blocked.
And when I say “surrogate” I don’t necessarily mean for pay though I am not against that. What I mean is that you find a sex partner who knows what is going on with you and what you want and need so you can approach this with a degree of detachment which is another thing organic to you. You have an Aquarius Moon and you WANT a degree of detachment so I will just say this in plain language:
1. Your chart is very FIXED, meaning you don’t jump tracks all that easy. However, if you do jump tracks you will then be on a new one and if I were you I would opt to get on a track that has sex included because this other is not healthy.
2. You can move tracks, you only need make it your will and there are people out there who would be very interested in mixing it up with someone like you.
3. As for a method, be creative. Just as a man wants a crack at a virgin, there are scads of women who would be enormously intrigued with the opportunity to initiate you and most of them would also be happy to allow you to dominate.
Last, the embarrassment?
Well I’d let go of that completely. You have nothing to be embarrassed of because you have done nothing wrong.
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