I’ve been dating this Scorpio for almost a year and a half, and I love him so much. I’ve tried to move on but it’s so hard when you don’t want anybody else. But he just won’t grow up.
We’ve both betrayed each other in the past, but he’s taking this really hard, and he’s beginning to pull away like he did in the beginning of our relationship. When I look into his eyes I want to believe that he still loves me, but he says he doesn’t know if he can forgive me. Can you suggest anything that could help us get past our past mistakes, and help us move into the future.
Yes, I have suggestions but I don’t think you’ll like them. But you asked, so here they come:
First, I am suspect of anyone who suggests their partner â€˜will not grow up” when they report they have displayed the exact same behavior their partner has.
Second, I suspect anyone who claims to love someone BUT. You love him if only he will conform to your dictates, which of course is not love at all. You don’t want anyone else, however he is not okay the way he is.
Now I am sorry but with this kind of attitude not only is this relationship going to fail but so will the next, the next and the next and the next. And I am not trying to say this guy is innocent. Thing is, you asked how you could get past your mistakes and the fact is you can only get by your own mistakes. And based on what you’ve written your boyfriend is on the fence as to whether he wants to salvage the relationship at all which is another problem for you to face.
You cannot control him. You want to get by your mistakes; he wants someone he can trust. He does not trust you and he does not know if he ever will and if you respected him and if you were mature yourself ,you would give him the time and space to figure this out. As it is, you sound like a General… albeit a nice one with velvet gloves.
But control is control and control is not love, is it?
If you want the man back, look in the mirror. You have a seventh house packed with Libra and you would be well advised to take your energy off him completely and work on your own issues around being a good partner. Frankly, anything less and I don’t think you have much hope.
a year and a half isn’t all that long to start racking up “betrayals” on both sides. also sounds like sag’s betrayal was most recent, whereas perhaps she feels he should excuse hers because she theoretically excused his (after returning the favor via payback, perhaps).
you can’t make someone forgive you, or “grow up” whatever your version is, or do anything else. you can’t date someone’s potential.
either he does or he doesn’t want to continue and that’s his decision to make. but i’ve never seen a worthwhile relationship suffer from the participants focusing energy on improving themselves and their own perspective, respecting the right of their partner to draw their own conclusions. that’s where i’d direct my energy, personally.
one persons growth should be their own doing. Not because you think they should. I suggest backing off all together, working on yourself and finding someone that is health not someone that betrays you and then you betray….if that someone turns out to be this same person then great.
Lucy with a Y – that is a funny admission but is it because he can’t trust or because she can’t be trusted??
How would you respond if you were reunited with a Scorpio (after 22 years) who claims he hired a private investigator to find you but the investigator had no success? The thing is I had a funny feeling the last week of October 2009 and sent a birthday card to my ex’s mother’s house. I left me Yahoo email and he emailed me on November 2.