I have been working in my book to get it ready to publish. There are a lot of themes in it and one thing I noticed was my own withholding nature.
Scorpio is famous for withholding sex but I tend to withhold information. If I don’t like you or if I feel you’re some kind of jackass, I keep my mouth shut rather than say something to relieve your mind. That sounds bad but before you judge me, you probably should find out the level of jackass I am dealing with.
I thought this was interesting. It shows what I value for one thing. Information is power!
If you are an 8th house (or the equivalent) type, what energy do you most commonly withhold? What have others withheld from you?
I do that often, its habitual now. I thought it was because of my retro mercury? I did not think it was my scorpio moon in the eighth house? I know exactly what you are saying.
I’m an 8th house type and I withhold nothing. It’s not in my nature. I’m too open, too honest, too unable to keep my mouth shut. I’m insanely self-revealing and other than other people’s secrets, I’m an open book.
NN/vertex conjuunct in the 8th, pluto @ MC, scorp sun. i’d say if got some 8th house energy.
i withhold everything if i feel a person is undeserving. i will seal off all of my energy and treat that person like a block cement, ignoring them outright.. but i will sit right next to them while i do it.
Withhold? Hmm..I withhold Me…keep my distance from people, have had to do that when my job gave me a raised profile which attracts some odd characters, probably same as you, Elsa, the more people you connect with, the more likely it is that you won’t always be connecting with reasonable folk with something of value to share.
I take a long time to (weigh and balance, get to know) let anyone close, and when I make a friend, they are forever. 11th house ruler Saturn in Libra in 8th.
I think with the movement of talk shows etc in the 90s it seems that there’s this assumption that we should all be spilling our guts to anyone and everyone. No thanks. Why is privacy such a dirty word? I don’t see it as “withholding” energy but simply holding it and not passing it around for any Tom, Dick or Harry. (Oh, Sun square Pluto and 12t house Mars Scorpio).
This also works for people who have hurt you. They don’t “deserve” to know about you any further. So you withhold energy from them.
I can not think of any right now. As far as I know I share my energies to all those that are worthy. =)
With an 8th house Gem Sun and Taurus Merc, I think I can withhold my psychoanalysis of people…
Oh ya, I do that. My parents like to tell stories about how if someone crossed me or did something wrong, I’d forever ignore them, even when I was little. I guess a bit of passive-aggressive feline thing going on there 🙂
Withholding attention can really bug people 🙂
And as already mentioned above – I don’t feel the need to overshare, and at times feel like less of a woman because of it. We’re supposed to spill our guts, right? Not sure if that’s something I’m supposed to transcend or accept as “me”.
Scorp Rising/ Pluto in 12H / 3 personal planets in 8H
Intimacy. I withhold intimacy and have also had it withheld from me.
I’m sure there is more. But that is the first thing that pops into my mind.
An open book can withhold, too. By sharing too much too quickly you don’t respect the kind of sensible social boundaries that allow people to get close at a rate that feels safe for them.
I have a dear friend keeps people away with too much information. It creates a pressure early in her relationships that keeps her isolated, which is her mission, though she’s only starting to become aware of it.
Oh, I keep a lot of stuff on a “need to know” basis. Sometimes it feels like a lie of omission, which rankles some of my other aspects. But, I have my reasons for keeping quiet when I do. 😉
Enjoying reading everyone’s posts, as ever Elsa throws out little seeds of thoughts that stir personal introspection and potential for growth. Josi,that resonates ..Le Ciel, that too.. kr, I know of two Scorpio Sun gals who do that oversharing thing, really nice, but they just go in to new relationships with this massive openness and instant exclusivity..which scares the partners off, yes..it’s a shame and I hope they will evolve and move into happy balanced relationships
Definately withhold information if I don’t like you. Even withhold some from those closest to me. Don’t know why I do this, but it just feels safer. There is not one person on this earth that truly knows me, except for me.
Oh information might be one thing
I withhold my real self from almost everyone. Only a select few get to know all of me.
I withhold helpful information/analysis, my ability to see how something is going to play out which would save you pain/consequences, generosity/nice gifts, affection, and letting you off the hook. Oh and social lubrication- I let an uncomfortable situation sit there without intervention to make you squirm publicly/interpersonally.
And all this, when called for, is completely fair so I have no qualms about doing it. I am tolerant to a fault so it is deserved.
I was an open book until I realized it was not in my best interests and often drove others to unnatural acts. It is much more fun to unfold with another. It is the area where I am working to exercise free will. I do have a choice. How the heck can I give everyone everything they demand?
PS Scorpio rising just couldn’t have sex with everyone who came knocking, now could she? Weird thing is I’m not even good looking.
I have mars in scorpio in the 8th house. I withhold my plans of action. I have a capricorn moon, and a pisces rising. My saturn is also in house 8 Scorpio. It takes me a long time to come to a decision, I ferret out all the options, I play both sides of my decisions privately, I take a long time to act. I am private with this process, I am private with my plans. People really don’t see what’s going on under the surface. This translates into withholding. I ponder, ponder, ponder, and then when I do act people are surprised cause they don’t see how I internalized all this. Some of you might be laughing and say “OH daisy” your funny, your always asking “What if questions around here” but they are vague and subjective without specific subject content, cause I am working it out internally. When I do move, it is whip like, I just try really, really, hard not to sting anyone. Amputate sometimes, sting not if I can help it.
Since I am a born smotherer who is trying to not inflict herself upon others so much, I hold back emotion. I don’t tell stuff to people I don’t like either.
I also second the “people who have hurt you” thing.
Edit to add~Pain I try to withhold pain. Not the 6th house suffer kind of pain, but raw bleeding pain. It sucks everyone knows that, so why dish it out. I will not cause raw, bleeding pain in your life, I will not cause you pain by being your burden. So I withhold it or again amputate it. It hurts . . .cut it off, cut it out. In medicine you do sacrifice a limb to save a life that we why we amputate.
I’ve got pluto in aspect to most of my planets, and this resonates. I can withhold pretty much whatever I deem necessary except responsiblity or change (pluto is not in aspect to saturn as well as uranus). But mostly for me it’s communication, mess with me and you’ll be cut off. Pluto resides in virgo & my 3rd house. As for what’s withheld from me, I really don’t know?
8th House Leo Sun and 8th House Cancer Mercury
I have a tendency to hold back what people want to hear. My biggest pet peeve is a person who hints at what they want instead of asking upfront, so as a rule of thumb I don’t deliver until bluntly asked. I appreciate tactful honesty.
with my leo stellium and my scorpio rising, i shut my light off like “nobody’s home!” only the people i warm up to get to see me beam.
@Le Ciel du Scorpion,
“This also works for people who have hurt you. They don’t “deserve” to know about you any further. So you withhold energy from them.”
This is what I commonly withhold. With Virgo/Pluto
Neptune/Scorpio, I must learn to not resist like this not good from me– it creates isolation. Lately, I’ve been feeling totally isolated from others.
I have Mars and Saturn(withholding action) in the 8th House conj Pluto in the 7th (all in Leo). This stellium aspects my Scorpio Stellium in the 10th making withholding a big verb in my life. I’m private about the depth of my choices, yet the Mercury-Chiron-Sun character (that Scorpio stellium) makes me want to express the thinking/healing/transformation going on.
I use the access to the collective conscious and blogging to maintain a kind of hybred withholding: public yet (you/they) are not living with me or my neighbor. I withhold my soul because it’s not mine to give … I’ve had to learn that. Learning to love the 8th House is probably one of the greatest gifts I’ve given (and continue to give) myself.
I too withold information, primarily. I have a stellium in Capricorn in the 8th House, which includes Mercury, my chart ruler, and also Venus, Mars & the Sun. I guess this is how I explain to myself that information is one of the principal ways I withold, but I also will withold affection (Venus), energy (Sun) & taking action (Mars). But NEVER sex!
Packed 8th house with pluto conjucnt my venus and sun. Honestly if im hurt by you or find out you are not so good for me, I begin to withhold sharing myself at all with you and the interests i love eg: music or books or just sharing. Mostly Im too hurt to give you anything. I have libra so I’ll be polite,respectable but I dont go out of my way to give the person energy anymore. This is completely hard especially at the moment when I’ve had to cut people, who I’ve realised dont value you me. You probably wont get the sunny, fun affectionate a apart of me. You just get me being cordial. Some say this is harsh or cold but most of the time I do it for my own protection
I withhold my advantage/edge over another.
My eighth house IS Scorpio.
Natally, I have nothing there in the eighth.
Neptune next door in Libra, though, in my seventh house. There’s a world of hurt for you.
LOL…wow Elsa, you always pull some of the BEST topics out for us to discuss. I’ve never even considered this angle of my 8th house!
Pluto in the 8th in Libra, with Venus knocking on the door in Virgo 7th house. I withold building a relationship with that person. The typical cold shoulder. They become non-existant to me on as many levels as possible. I won’t vouch for them or offer support in any way. My ex was a Scorpio and he most definitely witheld sex from our relationship, so in the end I ended the partnership – witholding it permanently.
Venus & Mars in the 8th — in Virgo
*cue Halloween music*
I withhold attention and communication.. sometimes to the point where others give up.
THen I realize when I win, I lose. lol
l might withhold myself, my speach when hurt, but with scorpio 3rd and aries 8th l can’t do it for long!it will come out what ever l feel! l don’t like poeple withholding anything it drives me mad!
My First Great Love has a Scorpio Moon. He’s always been very good at withholding when he’s upset or offended with anyone (and with a Leo stellium…)
He would withhold sex when he wanted to punish me – and my Black Moon Lilith is conjunct his Moon, so this told on us both, somewhat 😉
When he REALLY wanted to punish me, for sending him out into the world to find himself, he withheld the love he still felt, and kept that up for years and years
Forgot to add, I’m pretty sure the Scorp Moon is in House 8
And he also has Sun exactly conjunct Pluto, by less than a degree
I have Pluto in Virgo in the 8th house with ruler, Mercury in 12 in Cap. I have a very very long fuse, but when it is done, it is OVER. I do not go back, I do not make up. When I am done with a person who has wronged me too many times and who isn’t willing or able to change this and right it, I am out and they literally never hear from me again–and I mean immediate family members. I have cut off two completely for over five years now. It is like they are dead to me. I feel it is a very self-protective measure, that these people do not have good intentions and thoughts towards me, they don’t support me but rather criticize and belittle. So, when that fuse goes, nice, sweet, always-there, always willing to listen ME is GONE. I think it must shock them, the 180. But it is permanent.
I can relate to pixiedusts post. If I’ve been fucked over, I will not give you any of my insights. I will do nothing to help you in any way. I basically won’t give you the time of day. I’ve been told that I seem like I’m vindictive etc. but that’s honestly the worst I’ve ever done to someone. Ignore them. I’m always confused when people think this is so cruel. This is the nicest thing I can do and still not fall into a pit of despair. I guess I could take more abuse. It seems like plenty of people would be happy with that scenario. People are happy to let plutonians carry the shadow. When we are simply protecting ourselves were suddenly considered ruthlessly cruel.
Oh, I’m a libra sun conj Pluto and mc. And moon, mercury,mars and Uranus in Scorpio.
I withhold emotion. Scorpio Moon in the 7th, t-squared by Uranus opposite Chiron. If you try to piss me off I will look at you like you’ve got 3 heads and give you the stink eye. Reacting to you is like losing to me. This seems to work very well because people go NUTS when I won’t react. Makes me great in a crisis, and a formidable enemy. You’ll never know how I feel about *anything* if I don’t like you.