Why Am I Always The Scapegoat?

Rene Girard points out that one only need be slightly more attractive than the rest of the group to become their scapegoat. It’s not comforting!

A lot of people who consider themselves a scapegoat. “I’m always the scapegoat,” they say. But if you live long enough you see that who a society (or a family) persecutes will change over time.

This is why Girard’s observation is so disturbing.  He suggests that you may be a hair’s breadth away from being the scapegoat yourself.
You may also be spared by a narrow margin.

The latter suggests that avoiding being scapegoated may be fairly easy to do.

If this is the case, then what does it say about people who wear the scapegoat label throughout their entire life?

Are you a scapegoat? Who is the scapegoat of the zodiac?

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Comments

Why Am I Always The Scapegoat? — 80 Comments

  1. I am. What it boils down to is that I am a weirdo (Uranus in first) and therefore I’m the most obvious target/not “one of us.” I have Chiron on an angle too–house of enemies, I guess. Whee.

    There always has to be a target to abuse and I’m the best one for the job. Too different, so I’m hated.

    • Sounds familiar! Uranus in first, Chiron on my descendant (conjunction sun, Venus, and north node). Add to it a Scorpio Mars conjunction Saturn in the 12th (willing and able to hold more than my fair share of responsibility) opposite moon and Mercury (must serve, able to rationalize my emotions and can be manipulated into taking extra responsibility). Pluto in the 11th makes me stand out in groups, for good or ill.

      I am the family scapegoat and have moved halfway across the country to escape. It has been a battle since I finally stood up to my older sister, the golden child if you will, and cut off communication until she apologizes (still waiting 10 years later). My parents blame my younger sibling’s alcoholism on me for not speaking to my sister and thus ripping the family apart. Meanwhile, the older one lies, runs up credit card debt that my parents pay off, and steals from the younger one.

      I just want to be left alone and learned long ago not to accept anything from my parents because there are strings attached. A wedding was impossible so I eloped, and have not heard anything from my parents except a text to blame me again for my younger sibling landing in the hospital a month later. My mom is telling others that she is happy for me to save face, but I don’t know what else she is saying bc several extended family members have turned cold on me.

      It’s a really sad situation and kind of a taboo subject in public. While I feel badly for everyone else who finds themselves in this situation, I am thankful to hear and learn from how you all deal with it. Personally, I married the strongest man I have ever met, morally and otherwise, who helps me tremendously with standing up to my family and helping me understand the dysfunction is not my fault.

  2. I was/am the scapegoat of my family of origin, and oddly enough (not really as we seek out what we “know”) became the scapegoat of my family of marriage. Once I saw what was/had been happening, and realized there was no changing it as I have no allies, I jumped off the merry-go-round. Adios crazy eff’ers!! Scary as hell, lonely as hell at times, but oooh is my life so much better, calmer, and sensible. I am Cap Sun, Aquarius ASC, with Mars and Chiron in Pisces.

  3. I think the one who ends up the scapegoat is the one whos willing to take responsibility.

    Alan Watts tells this story and how people pass the buck and the line goes all the way back to satan in the garden of eden. He stayed silent when God asked him about it. Everyone else had an excuse. Now, good and evil aside, thats a great archetype for a scapegoat. We need someone to blame.

    Thats Pluto. Whoever is capable and willing of holding that shadow. The same case is happening as when I commented above several years ago. Same person. They messed up big time. But somehow Im still the bad guy for not just allowing someone who hurt me and threatened the safety of me and my son, and scapegoated me then, back into my life. Its a really baffling situation to be in. Just like before, Im not going to accept the role. Im not going to internalize it.

  4. Nope I’m highly Plutonic, I’m never the scapegoat, I choose and point out the scapegoats myself hahaha! (evil laughter! :p)

  5. I’m a scape-ricorn goat! – (sorry, I know not funny),seriously I don’t think Capricorn is the scapegoat of the zodiac, something perhaps with Libra (people-pleasing and helpful and irritating charm and diplomacy?- I have stellium in Libra including Mars….can you believe trying to be good to others – smiling and being positive – is a reason to be scapegoated…) or possibly Pisces, I have moon saturn vesta conjunct in 12th house, soft touch? empathy? I think perhaps anyone can be scapegoated for some reason or another, others feel challenged and threatened and target you – do your thing for the right reasons and if scapegoated, be proud of it.

    • I’m told that asteroid dejanira amd moon in 12th also play into the feeling of being a perpetual, unintentional victim. Both of which I have… Always got blamed for things I didn’t do, even if it was obvious that I did actually do my part to maintain status quo.

  6. 12th house mars and neptune conjunction with a sun and mercury conjunction in the 8th. Scorpio midheaven. My life, unfortunately.

  7. My dad was the scapegoat in his family and passed that down to me. I haven’t been willing to be in the position for years now, but it took a lot of modifying my own behavior and that was really hard! It still is sometimes. I have to be so super quiet so as not to provoke him. I have to let him think he’s so right, etc. But it keeps the peace and that helps my mom. My family is broken enough anyway, without the extra turmoil, and the turmoil is not worth it. (If it were, that would be different.)

    I think scapegoats often have a victim mentality. I had it for a little while. Why me? etc.

    Not sure who the scapegoat of the zodiac is, but it’s an interesting question!

  8. I think anybody who attracts attention, consciously or unconsciously might end up being a scapegoat. People only need a visible person to download their anger/frustaration/envy etc. onto them.
    Those flying below the radar usually don’t attract this.
    Then again, even a lowly worm can be a scapegoat, but perhaps you never hear them complaining – they’re quashed before that can happen.
    I guess it takes being on the “right side” or the “wrong side”, which is completely subjective.
    I don’t feel like a scapegoat, but don’t know why. Probably low visibilty.
    I think the scapegoat of the zodiac is Capricorn. They are so hard on everyone that it probably attracts aggressive reactions. Luckily, they are intouchable.

  9. Scorpio is often the scapeies…. My Scorpio planets are opposite Chiron. My Neptune is quincunx it too.

    My Chiron is conjuct fixed star Algol. If you read about the Medusa myth, you have the theme for my eternal wound… Medusa was originally a beautiful virgin in a temple until Aremis/Diana became jealous of her beauty and dignity.

    So yes, it is very possible that the pretty girl becomes the victim. I was the pretty one in my family, and now….? My mother does not want me in her life. My uncle (her brother) and his wife does not speak to me either.

    My Mother’s Saturn is conjuct my planets in Scorpio. There is no mercy, she can be so cold and judging and without much warmth. She has Virgo rising and Chiron in the 5th, and of all things, her Chiron is almost conjuct my Ascendant. Ouch!

    Moreover, my Mars is on the cusp of my 12th house. I am stoic, when I get angry, and have trouble defending myself. But as fishes does, I swim away. Don’t let them see my anger. I did with my mom, until she got tired of me and dumped me.

    I once read there are 7 types of roles in a dysfunctional family, and the scapegoat is only one of them. But actually I think there are several types of scapegoats.

    There is the proud, loud and fighting one. The one that doesn’t keep her/his mouth shut about the shitty shady stuff and gets ostracized. (That’s me)

    Then there is the silent/victimey one who is not good at defending oneself. Who does not understand why and seems helpless/drowning.

    Then there is the stoic one with ‘too much power’ – often the typical Scorpio rising who does not (on the surface) seem to bother and almost relishes in the other family members’ uncomfortable-ness when he/she is around. The one with the magnetic/powerful vibe.

    I think I will take on the last type of I am to be with the family again one day. The one who will regard the others with almost no attention. At least, that’s what I hope to do….

  10. I have been the family scapegoat since I was born – 69 years old this month and still the scapegoat, still the black sheep. It will never change. Finally learned to write family and many past friends off. If you read this and see yourself, do it sooner than I did. Double Libra, cardinal T-square, cadent houses, lots of 12th house.

    What people need to realize is that human nature requires that people have a need look down on other people. Many many people – too many – need a scapegoat and they hold on to it for dear life. Really the only thing you can do is walk away. That has been my experience. You can’t change them. Don’t even try.

  11. I think lots of 12th house is a problem with scapegoating. Also, heavy cardinal T-squares or Grand Cross. Maybe even Mutable which would make people kind of wishy-washy or changeable. I think “fixed” people tend to scapegoat others more than “mutable” or “cardinal” people do. Also, I think Libra and Pisces get a bad rap a lot of the time.

  12. All you have to be is different to be a scapegoat – the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

    Try being unattractive and see what happens, and of the two I would rather be attractive than not.

    As Quentin Crisp said its better to be part of the majority.

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