I started working on the introduction for my Saturn in Sagittarius workshop. Writing these things always scares the crap out of me. Will I be able to perform as promised? I promise on faith.
I get on here and say I am going to produce something worthy…before I have produced anything at all. I sound confident, but really, I just believe. I believe (Sagittarius) I have done it before and I believe I can do it again. So I make this claim and start selling a product (Saturn) that does not exist (Neptune).
Invariably this is followed by a period of doubt. Not crippling doubt, but DOUBT the same. I talk to people, concerned about falling flat on my face. I bet this sounds familiar to a lot of you!
But eventually, I have to face my fear. I tell myself to sit down and start writing. Quit wondering if you’re going to fail. Find out! Sit down with your fingers and see if you know what to say…
And I do know what to say. The words come. The first paragraph comes and I realize the introduction is in the bad. Even if I may work on it for a week or two, I know I have it.
So I get it going and then go write back being concerned. What chart should I use?
Think about it. I am not using charts of my choosing, charts I can control, charts of celebrities who won’t be in the class, able to talk back and/or refute what I say. It’s ballsy, yanno? And it worries me everytime.
Not so much that the person will be upset, but that I will miss the boat somehow and not pull the class together in a way that’s cohesive by the time I wrap up. Because I do this the same way I tell a story. I just start telling the story and by some magic, the story starts telling itself. My job at that point is to just be true to what (literally) comes through me.
This is why my workshops are the way they are. Lively, deep, daring, unpredictable and effective. It’s because I’m willing to take a risk will all the hope I can muster that I don’t hit the ground hard – SPLAT!
Who can relate?