I’ve been hearing about Scorpios (and other Pluto types) cutting off friends, lovers and others, all over the place in the last few weeks. There are threads on the boards and I hear about it in consultations. I’ve done it myself in that the Astro Dispatch which I have kept alive with my energy years upon years, now just sits there.
If you have a source of energy in your life; someone who feeds you and enriches you, most definitely value them properly and give energy back. Because in most cases, when a Scorpio cuts you off, they’re not coming back and when the faucet you took for granted is cut off, it’s going to hurt.
Is anyone going through this now. Cutting or being cut? How do you feel?
Just happened. I “pulled the pin” and made sure there would be NO way the relationship would/could be salvaged. I realized what I was doing when I did it. I also believed it was right and best for both of us. That said, it’s still excruciatingly painful…
Maybe I should share a little of the astrology–I knew I had to break things off when Saturn/Mars was sitting on my t-square, conj Jupiter, opposing Mars, squaring Sun. Saturn also closing in on my Scorp asc. My sun is in Cancer, and I have always had a hard time letting go, but if a certain switch is flipped I annihilate things so they aren’t repairable.
I said I’m in pain. He’s in pain too. There was pain before. At least now there’s a chance to begin healing, at least that’s how I see it.
I’m getting close to it with a couple of friends. I actually told them to leave my house the other day. We were having a conversation, which degraded into the two of them going back and forth, telling me why I was wrong on a topic (surprisingly, not political), giving me no opportunity to answer before I was being hit with another round. It was like watching a ping pong match, one would go, then the next, and I kept trying to take the opportunity to answer what was just said, but not being allowed to. I explained to them why this was a problem, was told it was my fault I wasn’t having the chance to talk, and then they went back at it again. I calmly, kindly told them it was time to leave. You don’t get to come to my house, partake of my generosity, and then talk over me. They are already on shaky ground because of this type of behavior, and if they keep pushing, I’m going to have to push back
I cut someone out recently not because they didn’t appreciate me but because they were an inexplicable energy suck. I always felt tired around that person no matter how often they said “Thanks, I value you.”
It had to be done. Really sorry, she was a really nice and well intentioned person. I just couldn’t stay awake around her.
What if the energy suck is coming from your own stepchildren? I can’t even be motivated to work on my career because their needs are all encompassing and the dramas (many of which involve their mother who comes in and out of their lives) are killing me. Do I leave my husband and move back to my former hometown in order to get my life back? I’m barely hanging on.
Anna, it sounds like boundaries to me. Saturn in Libra.
I cut off a friendship many months ago with a man who decided he wanted a romance, and I made it very clear I was not interested. He pulled every high school trick in the book to try to get my attention (fake girlfriend, pressuring friends in common to tell me to “take him back,” etc.) The thing is, what he missed the most was not me, per se, but what I could do for him: help him with his career, listen endlessly to his woes, etc. When he pulled this foolishness, that was when I cut him off. Clean. I also told the friends we have in common not to mention him to me, or they will likewise be banished. I’m not a mean person, but no means no, especially since it takes a LONG time to get to the point where I say no.
Yes, it is a boundaries issue–Saturn in Libra is finishing its run through my first house. I’ve done far too much for them at my own expense these last few years. Now, it’s too late to draw the lines without them becoming very angry and resentful with me. I’m left feeling guilty and emotionally exhausted. I’m almost ready to leave my husband over his kids and the ongoing, never-ending family drama that is disrupting my life.
My story is almost exactly like smilinggirl’s: I just amputated an Aries who took what I offered for granted. Can’t do it any more; and while it’s been painful for me (can’t speak for him)I’m free.
I’m a Scorpio Sun, Cancer Asc.Leo moon
I’m finding that when I pull back now people are noticing and dare I say ‘caring’ in a way they haven’t in the past. It feels as if there is more respect and value coming my way so that its easier to apply boundaries and maybe maintain a relationship that I would previously have had to cut off. That or they stay away and make it easy for me to maintain the required distance. I’ve done a LOT of work to get here though (Saturn and then Mars in Virgo, my first house). Plenty more work to do, but I’m liking these positive signs…Saying no thanks to drama or poor treatment has certainly helped too. I call it ‘house rules’. High five to ruth.
Moon in Scorp, and Venus square Saturn. I’ll put everything I have into a relationship. But if there comes a point when I have no more to give, it’s like I become numb to the person. Once that happens there is no going back. I don’t spend any time or energy even thinking about them anymore. It sounds cold, but I think I give on the front end and there’s nothing remaining on the back end.
My Scorpio friend for whom I never hear from finally called ME for the first time last week which was amazing as she’s impossible to get a hold of and I haven’t heard from her in months.
I feel I have more energy for others again. My Pluto/sun oposition is separating and Saturn will be done with my 8th and 11th houses soon. Saturn in Scorpio will immediately sextile my Asc and trine my sun.
Conch, I’m a scorp moon and I know what you mean.
It’s like giving that person a block of marble and saying, “here it is, make of it what you will”. If they chip away at it too long, what I’ve offered, there won’t be anything left. when they realize it’s gone, it’s really gone.
Is there another way? I’d like to know.
Yes, I plugging the plug on associations that aren’t worth the energy to weed or water. Also saying “no” to questions that I don’t want to answer: that’s big for me.Over and over, I learn this one.
STORY of my life ~ this is always a well thought out decision, with much assessment and processing, and NEVER rash. Elsa you A L W A Y S nail it / I am absolutely ETERNALLY grateful…….
Totally doing this too and like S said, you nailed it, Elsa! 🙂 I was doing some journaling this morning and wrote, “I’m not going to be your training wheels or support poles anymore. You need to stand or fall on your own. I need my energy back.” I feel like filters are coming off and I’m seeing everything with new eyes. I’m tired of inequity and The Takers (as I’m now thinking of them). I understand it’s this way because I let it be and now I’m correcting that.
p.s. I’m not a Scorpio or Pluto type, but I’m doing it anyway!
Yes, I’m feeling withdrawn from aquaintances. Needing to be needed has switched to leave me be. Feel like I’m recharging batteries and getting a new life. Mercury Taurus 4th squares Pluto 7th near Moon in Leo. Pluto is grinding his way through my 12th house.
Weird backwards thing going on with me but I attribute this to Saturn in Libra having done it’s job. All/any cutting required was done during Saturn in Libra. Most of it early on so all the rest of that transit was healing from the amputations (I did the leaving, i’m the scorp).
But now, all my friends of all signs and I are crawling out of our caves of whatever and reconnecting. I’m not needing to cut anyone having weeded out those others already. Those remaining are reconnecting. So this feels good.
That said, my scorp moon neighbour is on a very short fuse with her whatever-stuff and i’m on a bit of alert for her blowing her stack soon in September. Windows are open thanks to cool weather so I’m hearing her frustrations every other day. I’m cool. I’m not feeding it. She needs to own her stuff and it’s not making her happy. I feel for her but won’t make that mistake twice so leaving her to it. Sticking with my good solid friends. All the frivolous and burdensome has been cut.
I want to bring up a contrary point, but one shadow side to Scorpio is that they can pretty selfish and not always in the good way. This is coming from one very imperfect Gemini so I hope I’m not coming off like I’m on a pedastal here, because I’m not perfect myself.
But I’ve seen the ‘bad’ Scorpio types, and they can be quite unfair in my opinion. Self-preservation because someone is sucking your energy or being an unpleasant person is one thing, but cutting someone off because you want to care only about yourself is another.
Not a Scorpio, I am cutting off one right now because she is very toxic. Perhaps when Saturn goes over her Scorpio stellium (6 planets) she will realize this and begin to heal herself.
My husband and I are doing this together. Consciously. We are both 8th house/Pluto/Scorpio types and we both have plenty of Libra. IE: it is hard for us to say “no” We have realized there are people in our lives who take and take and take which distracts us from what we need to be putting our energy into (our family, work, home, eachother). We are trying to be fair about it. Reinforcing boudaries, etc. But, a few have already made the cut.
We are finding great uses for the energy we have left over. And, I don’t see us accepting anyone that has been lopped off back into the fold without some serious reciprocation on their part.
Omg Elsa! Spot on as usual:)
Saturn Scorpio going to be passing over my stellium. I’ve cut friends and family. I’m literally alone besides my kids and partner.
I’ve had enough of the bs. I need my space also to sort my stuff out. I don’t have time for them and useless crap. I was busy wasting my time helping others when I should of been helping myself. I didn’t want to face that I was scared to fix my own life. Now is the time for me, myself and I. It’s going to benefit me and my family.
I pulled back majorly in several areas/relationships. Definitely doing the cutting, not being cut.
Elsa hit it again…
Yep, the faucet is turned off regarding two people. One has T-sq Moon/Pluto/Venus and the other is an Aries. Both are narcissistic and energy suckers. Ms. T-sq has ‘come back’ around throwing out bait however I’ve had enough.
(( Bottom line: If you want to feel small, unimportant and unheard, date a narcissist. ))
It’s all about her career and what I can do for her; our connection lacks the emotional intelligence my Pisces Sun and my Scorpio Moon requires.
I put a lot of energy up front and nothing left now. bye-bye
Feeling restored and more whole, btw.
Ive cut all my old friends, best thing for me – just freed me from the constraints. Ive also been able to stick up for myself around family and lend a listening ear to someone worthy.
Currently working out whether to slice a relationship/friendship/i-don’t-know-what. The gemini just stresses me out and so far not trustworthy. Im no angel either, ive spiralled into obsessive drama queen never wanna grow up type and im changing that attitude. Its just so hard to communicate and get on the same page.
With Saturn in Libra more and more people are learning about where they lack boundaries, and where they need to be set. It’s a tough lesson, that’s for sure. Once the boundaries are in place though, then we get to see who does and who doesn’t respect them. Then as Saturn goes into Scorpio, I can see more easily cutting out the people who don’t respect the boundaries. It seems silly to cut out people when you haven’t even properly set your boundaries, cause how are they supposed to know where they are? Saturn is all about taking personal responsibility, and that means we don’t get to blame others for not reading our minds.
Welcome. barb. 🙂 That’s a great point.
Gemini’s are the worst – Sorry. At first they are just do entertaining, so willing to go along with everything – why not? They never pay for anything – no money, ever! It’s been 16+ years for me Libra Asc./1st decanate Scorpio in 1st house, and my “man” end degrees Taurus/mostly Gemini in the 1st house. I’ve lived with the lies, selfishness, cheapness extraodiniere, Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit. I’ve had it. God forbid he should get a job. As I pay for EVERYTHING. SHAME ON ME!!!
Actually, I have found that Saturn in Libra, especially since it’s close to leaving the sign and passed over my natal MC has given me the strength to shut men down who try to mate poach. I’m so sick of it and won’t put up with the bulls*^#! anymore from them. It’s been a problem for many, many years and I think I’ve finally learned how to deal with it. One recently tried to dump his emotional baggage on me and I told him I didn’t want to hear it, that I’m not at all available, and I’m not responsible for the way he feels. Thank you Saturn in Libra!!!!
It’s been both, for me. A ‘friend’ recently told me that she thought she should have the business my partner does. That she was intended for that. Really? News to me. Wonder why she didn’t tell me that 2 years ago. Then she emailed me and told me that she found my partner ‘scary.’
I was very tempted to email back ‘I can see why a man like my partner would be scary, seeing yours is drunk and comatose every night and has no backbone to speak of.’
I didn’t, by the way. I let her amputate me because I am the big bad wolf.
I was also amputated because another friend couldn’t cope with my depression. She was going through her Saturn Return in Libra…I didn’t fight it either. Even though she credits me for getting back into therapy and changing her life for the better.
I don’t know if I’ve amputated. Probably. I have plenty of Uranus (and it’s in my 11th) and I just make myself scarce from time to time.
*her returning to therapy
I just found out I am Scorpio rising. Yikes! Totally cut off my boyfriend of 8 1/2 years, a month ago. I knew what I was doing when I did it. I have cut out plenty of people who just plain did nothing for me. Have no problem doing it either. If it is not a 2 way street I am just not interested.I am too busy, my time is too precious to share with someone who doesn’t value me. Great Post Elsa! I love all the comments, they really resonate.
@Barb – I totally agree!
When Saturn started out in Libra, I discovered that I didn’t really need to amputate, that I needed learn to discern where it was best for me to invest my energies. Balance was the name of the game for me, and boundary setting has been the key.
At least in my case, I wasn’t surrounded by energy suckers, I was simply tossing my energy around willy-nilly and then wondering why I felt so depleted. One very effective way I’ve found to help me from falling into the same old pattern is to not ‘offer’ up my support and to wait until ‘asked’. Also, realizing that very often ‘helping’ is sometimes done best by not ‘helping’.
As a result, I’ve tons more energy, I take time for myself, and I don’t invest myself without an invitation (boundaries). Oh, and one of the hardest lessons was learning to ‘receive energy’ as well as give it. (balance)
Thanks Elsa for your ability to understand the Scorpio energy so well, I can’t tell you how much of a support it’s been to me and how comforting it is to be ‘seen’ without judgement. 😉
I seem to have the reverse going on with a Scorpio sun and an Aquarius sun trying to reconnect.
I do have my sun progressed in Scorpio and I’m not really trusting this effort.
I have a biased feeling on Saturn in Scorpio. Most people have made decision for future stability with the knowledge and wisdom they hold in them in terms of relationships. If you can see the other side of love and beauty in each person I don’t know if I want to term it as dark side ,but something is predominantly existing and that entity will be out for display. Saturn in Scorpio will just begin and set the theme for next 28 years. Its not what’s your age Is but in calendar years. I am looking at max divorce. Max incompetence who you thought was competent. I don’t like to say more. I had a eerie feeling on 6th of September. Just way to day this “Have you ever seen your dreams burning down in front of your own eye”? Applies to lot of people ask thy self. You shall yield it.
@Maria *****Needing to be needed has switched to leave me be***** this has been the theme over the last 6 months for me.
@Kit I feel the same way. I have my own mess to clean up. I just can’t be strung out over someone elses baloney anymore. A friend of mine has been beating the same dead horse since 2004. She called the other night and the first couple of things she said made her appear concerned for me….until ~ YEP here we go again. She started in on it …the husband that cheated in 03 and 04 and the neverending conversation about him… I changed the subject 4 times saying ‘no one knows why he is like he is’…thinking I could get her off my therapy couch arrrggg….she wouldn’t budge so I had to exit claiming exhaustion from a busy day so I could escape a two hour conversation about a jackass we have had to discuss for 8 years. 8 years is enough. I do love her kind heart but I will not talk about this anymore. I would never amputate her for loving deeply and being unable to move past it. I just can’t hold her up anymore. She is too heavy and my arms are shaking….I have my own Saturn stellium show getting ready to play out on stage one. I have to buckle down now!
Mother, Father, Mother in law, a sister, These are either addicts or mean people ~bye, I will never look back or speak to them again. We have no reason to communicate. They see it as I have abandoned them and I am selfish so I’ve heard. If you only knew the years of dirty mud with these folks. I just can’t do it anymore and sustain any sort of mental stability.
I am not cutting anyone off, But, I haven’t been to one of my regular haunts in over a month.
I’m the pluto type and it feels really good to have the extra energy back (as opposed to leaking out of all the ‘extra’ faucets),
Double Scorpio fiancee running away from us, because childhood problems remain. I’m a Capricorn, I understand duty and solitude, what I cannot fathom is running away. Hell hath no fury…
Amir and Patricia, I have Scorpio rising and Saturn has been transiting my 12th house, very close to my ascendant…I have just broke it off with my boyfriend of six years. I have felt an overwhelming urge to cut things and people out of my life in order to concentrate on becoming the person I want to be and to honor my truth.
My sister and my Mom both have Scorpio rising at 6 deg., I’m at 3 deg., we have all been slicing and dicing all over the place. We all feel very good about our decesions although the path is very painful in some cases. But the clarity has been pretty amazing overall. I can’t wait til Saturn moves on. A very long two years indeed.
I’m cutting off my soon-to-be mother in law as best as I can seeing our stuck family position. She’s a Scorpio and I’ve got Scorpio moon. She recently proved to me that she doesn’t respond maturely to open, honest communication. Okay, lady… bullshit you want, bullshit you’re gonna get. Also expect to be dodged at every opportunity possible. It’s really too bad… I’ve gotten a lot of advice from people here about how if you deal with Scorpios with integrity, you’ll get it back in spades. Well, I tried that and it didn’t work. We’re not going to be friends. Instead, she will be someone who I “put up with.” It would have been easier and more pleasant the other way around, but if this is what she wants, this is what she gets.
“Shadesofblack,” I know what you mean when you ask, “is there any other way?”. I’ve tried to have an “intellectual” conversation with myself about why I can’t get that old feeling back. I’ve even tried to make myself try to get the feeling back. But it turns out to be even more repulsive. Sounds like you have been there too!
I”m sorry Bananas:(
Um…are you getting married???? 8) 🙂
Forgive me I’m young so I’m having an epiphany through osmosis. My moon is aquarius Capricorn sun Virgo rising. I don’t exactly sugarcoat things….ever,
What smiling girl said. But really not new for me. I am a double Scorpio with Mars, Neptune in Scorpio plus Pluto my MC. I have amputated many all my life. And I have lost many just by the nature of my chart. Saturn is conj. my Jupiter in Libra. I am getting a distilled taste of what it is like to have boundaries and why they are necessary.
I have a pluto moon (aries moon opp pluto libra) I RARELY cut people completely off – but there is one person I have recently come into contact that I will CUT out and if he tries to talks to me in person I will be sure to Make it clear that I don’t want anything to do with him….if that has to be in public, even better. more people need to know that he’s toxic and not genuine. Claws are currently being sharpened. WOw, it feels good to release the anger! Great lesson 🙂
It’s so darn hard to keep up with everything. Could be that exact neptune sextile to pluto in my chart. Neptune is conjuncting my IC. Seeming like all I can do is go where my brain and body take me.
So I would have to say, I’m not really disconnecting or cutting off, I just can’t get there at the moment.