Saturn In Libra: Comeuppance In Relationship

One thing that baffles me is how people can treat others horribly and then come back around and expect to be welcomed.  It’s got to be part of the whole entitlement thing.  Having grown up with the idea I was not entitled to anything, I have a real hard time trying to understand the mindset.

I grew up deprived and because of this, some think my perspective is skewed. I think it’s their perspective that is skewed. If you don’t study, then you flunk. If you don’t work, you get fired. If you treat people poorly, they’ll eventually not want anything to do with you.

Eventually your colors show and sensible people don’t throw good money after bad.  We haven’t been sensible for awhile but boy is this coming back into vogue, and with a vengeance.

A couple years ago I said that, I myself would come into vogue at this time and it is happening. What am I? Plain? Honest? Someone you can trust?

Yesterday, I met with a lawyer. I placed my hands on my cheeks and said, “I only have one face.  This is the only personality I have,” I added.  She stared but I felt good. Like, I’ve got some currency.

The last time Saturn was in Libra, I wouldn’t marry my husband so he married someone else. It doesn’t matter if I had compelling reasons. Eventually you run out of rope. I don’t think this is cruel. I think it’s reality.

Related – I made a short video on this topic: Does Treating Your Partner Lousy In One Relationship Affect The Next?

Who can relate? Where is your Saturn?

Related


Comments

Saturn In Libra: Comeuppance In Relationship — 54 Comments

  1. Yep, I can relate! This post supports what I have been feeling and thinking lately concerning my relationship with my husband. When I had my reading with you earlier this year, you said, if I remember correctly he was going to get a shock, up his A** and then some. I just did not realize it was going to come from me! Thanks Elsa!

  2. I can relate Elsa. I was told at a young age treat people how you want to be treated regardless of social background. Sadly my mother forgot to do the same with her children, and people began to see this. Lets hope Saturn in Libra helps her. Cos now I am in my Saturn Return and trying to make wrongs, right.

  3. I can absolutely relate – “eventually, you run out of rope.”

    IMHO, the Universe metes out justice with a terrifying precision. If you’ve set yourself up for lessons to be learned by not acting with integrity, well, then you’ve got some jolts and painful lessons ahead. If you’ve tried to act with integrity and done your best, well then, that comes back to you as well.

    To me, it’s a universal law and truth unto itself: what goes around does indeed come back around, in equal measure. No matter how mean or unfair someone’s actions seem to you, it’s best if you examine those actions to see if you are ‘meeting yourself,’ as Cayce wrote. You could be experiencing the teachings of your own former past actions, and the longer you look to place responsibility elsewhere, the longer you’re stuck there, unable to let go and move on.

    Best to own what’s yours, forgive yourself and others, learn something good from it, and keep going.

    If, on the other hand, after close examination of an event you find that you acted with integrity, you can close the books on the event with a clear mind and practice forgiveness for the hurts that were caused, for your own sake.

    Just my humble two pennies, FWIW.

  4. Absolutely. I thought of this when you mentioned exes in dumpsters. I have (Venus/8th) relationships that delve into truths and tough places and maybe unchartered waters but always with a high purpose and total mutual respect. Just about everything is safe if you go there with a sense of honor toward the other person. I feel this way about friendships, too. You’re obvously not always met with high intent, but if that’s what you put out there, incredibly often it’s what you get back. And it makes it so cut and dry to know which ones you keep and which ones you ditch.

    In long-term relationships, only once have I been met with a lower intent than the one I put out, only to realize that my presence there *was* much less pure than it had been in any other relationship. I was getting reflected back at me what I was giving — x1000 with a Pluto transit, but I needed that. I appreciate it now. It was an amazing lesson.

  5. “Eventually your colors show and sensible people don’t throw good money after bad.” -I love this. It’s so true and actually made me realize something about my relationship with my best friend. (We just had a big fight -coincidence?) I’m trying to figure out how Saturn is affecting her. She has Saturn in Cap in the 6th house. Is the 6th house the same as the Descendant because it’s also in Capricorn? Just wondering, I’m new at astrology. 🙂

  6. Everything in my experience says you are right on the money, Elsa. I’m baffled by the “entitlement” belief too.

    Saturn in the 9th, conj Pluto, trine Venus & sextile Moon.

  7. Saturn in Gemini in the 6th: Mastering communication as part of my daily routine.
    Might seem “mundane”, but it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. From e-mails to voice mails and one on one interactions. Especially in the workplace.

  8. Wowsy, wow, WOW!!! Love this post Elsa! I’ve been saying the same thing for years..I was brought up to be respectful to everyone (including your spouse), say please and thank you, and certainly don’t think everything is “all about me girlfriend” *snaps fingers in a Z formation*

    It gets tiring to deal with people with bad manners, or who think the world revolves around them (or their children) and has to tell the world about it – in disrespectful, poor language.

    I’m thinking the collective has “put up” with this behavior long enough and the behavior will either go out of favor (those folks get ignored), or some of us will start calling people out on their behavior…I have a co-worker (over 50 no less) who does this all the time, and I’m just about ready to pull the lid off her pot!

  9. Oops, forgot to mention Saturn in Aquarius in 3rd – communicate to the collective what you need to get the job done…quit whining your ass off about what you don’t have…

  10. Saturn Libra is transitting my First House, and will eventually transit the Second. My native Saturn is Third Housed Sagittarius.
    I like this transit.

    And, yes, it is about how they grew up.
    Frankly, anyone who believes themselves entitled to something they’re not was “spoiled rotten” in one key area or another. It’s the parents’ doing initially, though it becomes the guilty person’s doing if they refuse to learn those social lessons after grown.

  11. “One thing that baffles me is how people can treat others horribly and then come back around and expect to be welcomed. It’s got to be part of the whole entitlement thing. Having grown up with the idea I was not entitled to anything, I have a real hard time trying to understand the mindset”

    Amen to that, Elsa. I just got out of a bad DV marriage, poured my heart out to someone I considered a friend. She hugged me, consoled me, and assured me that my words would be kept in confidence. Two hours later, I receive an email (meant for another on her list) in which she mockingly described my situation and impending move and added the comment “Good riddance.”

    Yikes!

  12. Oh jeez, miss liz. That was the universe helping you out! I mean, you do find out eventually so the key is to act decisively when you do and spare yourself guilt, I’s say.

  13. @miss liz
    when i was initially dealing with my abusive relationship the worst betrayals came from female “friends” like you describe—i quickly learned that some of the most scathingly ignorant folks in regards to domestic violence are of the female persuasion

    elsa is right–the universe totally had your back

    great post, elsa

  14. Saturn in 7th house here too. Been rough at home – my husband thinks I have lost my mind but enough is enough.

    Lori

  15. Yes I can. Saturn in the 5th. My ex is one of those – behaves appallingly, over and over, and just expects you to carry on being his friend. (Sag, huh) Needless to say, with the 5th house involved, I have total responsibility for the child. But hell, at least there is one parent who can be trusted.

  16. This all sound reeallly familiar to a situation i just got out of.

    I think the day of or day after Saturn went into Libra, i let a former best friend of mine know that her behavor towards me was NOT cool. For the past year i’ve basically been shoved aside in favor of her other friends and her lifestyle. We talked A LOT less than we used to. Sometimes we’d exchange maybe a few sentences over a week or two. She also lied to me, kept something hugely important from me (for what sounded like at least two years, she was very vague about how long), and never really updated me on what was going on in her life unless i asked (and given it involved getting kicked out and moving back home, you’d think she’d tell me). For the past year i’ve been excusing her behavior and chalking it up to how hectic her life has been, but the final slap-in-the-face came when a week or so ago she listed her best friends. Her actions made it pretty damn clear that she didn’t value our friendship or me that much, but she kept saying the opposite and i believed her. But that was the final straw, she made it pretty damn clear how exactly she feels. When i called her out on it, she tried saying that she meant to list me (yeah, sure, she definitely forgot who her best friends are), and then it seemed like she was saying my disappointment and frustration was MY fault. Like i was supposed to be more understanding of her problems and how her life has gone downhill, and like i was supposed to be okay with her treating me like shit, yet somehow managing to treat her other friends well. I think she really did expect me to just be okay with the way she was treating me and always be there for her. And yes, i won’t just drop a friend over nothing (Cancer/Capricorn/Taurus), but i also know when enough is enough, and enough was a looooong time ago.

    Interestingly, me and her had already had two previous talks about where our friendship was going, and both times she told me she still loves me, cares about the friendship, would do better, etc. And she did, but then she quickly fell back into her old behavior. I’m pretty certain those talks happened when Saturn was in Libra before, and i was about to have another one (her third and last chance), but then she made it pretty clear that she doesn’t feel the same about me as i did about her, and so it was time to just cut her loose and skip the heartache that was bound to happen if i kept being “best friends” with her. I’ve already had enough of the mistreatment and none of it was worth it. Yes, i know she’s been having a rough time with things, but that didn’t make the way she was treating me hurt any less.

  17. Who can relate? Where is your Saturn?

    Saturn/Aries/6th. I’ve always been polite (in person) and I always try to be helpful (everywhere). In short I’ve tried to be a good person (with faults for sure) my entire life, and yet, I have Libra and I am not sure. So I am hoping not to be destroyed by this transit, and I hope that instead the transit will buoy me up.

    As for entitlement, I’m sure I’m like everyone else and believed I was entitled to something I wasn’t actually entitled to when I was young, but in the end, no one is entitled to anything, life is not fair, and lots of good people get screwed. Saturn shows this, I think.

    max
    [‘I’ll bet I’m being influenced by Uranus and the moon today.’]

  18. also for those above who feel “guilt” when karma is dealt, especially when its good for you but not so for others, just a question, “is it guilt you are feeling?” quite often we mistakenly think its fuilt when in fact it is simply feeling humble by the awesome univeral energy =)

  19. These comments from so called enlightened women appall me. You dont drop friends and run away from problems..everything IN your life is there for you to learn from not run from. Figure out the lesson being offered and make a decision based on instinct not emotion. Everything will come back to people good or bad so being treated like crap dont other me..i just laugh. But to each is own i guess just throwin my 2 cents in..no disrespect intended

  20. Hi! Transit Saturn in 11th (or 5th if you consider the solar system). At this time I am not arguing or cutting off people anymore. I have done this with whoever I had to, I think. I ve become much more closed to myself and prefer not going out at all than meeting people that have proven their true identity. I ‘m afraid it’s like I ve given up on people -totally disillusioned. (natal Saturn in 12th-Scorpio rising)

    (I am a bit confused: Is this part of this Saturn transit? Am I the one being punished for poor behavior now? Is this meant to go on through the whole transit?)

    Great topic Elsa!

  21. the gal at work I was having so much trouble with came up against someone with much more seniority and boy, did she mess with the wrong gal. She ended up being pulled in the back and talked to about her attitude.

    She’s playing the victim card but not many of us are fooled. We’re all aware of her tattling and gossip and buying the boss lunch etc…

    I’m glad I didn’t do anything to cause this. I just sat back and watched and she hung herself in her own rope. It seemed to take forever but really it’s only been a bit over a year.

  22. I absolutely relate.

    My saturn is literally on top of my venus (or vice versa, depending 😉 in cancer, in 5. I have a cap moon too…I’m just not prone to dealing with wishy washy bs.
    I grew up with parents who were very clear about the message that “an asshole carrying a million dollars and an asshole carrying garbage are one and the same. An asshole is an asshole. Never forget that.”
    And I never have.
    You absolutely reap what you sow, and for good reason.

  23. Sorry, What does where your saturn is have to do with saturn in libra? *scratches head*

    Mine is in the 9th, saquare uranus & pluto, opposition venus, trine moon and jupiter. Being treated like shit by people seems to be my lot in life. I don’t even get upset anymore. Its not negative thinking its just keeping expectations low makes the pain slightly less.

  24. “Sorry, What does where your saturn is have to do with saturn in libra? *scratches head*”

    I asked about natal saturn because it is associated with deprivation, karma and the like.

  25. wow as i was reading that, i was thinking about your previous post about the ex’s coming back from their graves to haunt, which right now mine is more of an energy, or a longing. i wonder if maybe he is feeling the pull sometimes as well, because it is quite intense and strong on my end. we used to live together as roommates, and i believe were falling hard for each other, truthfully, because we never slept together.. haven’t spoken to him since the spring, but as i was reading this, i thought of how i had my chance to be with him, but i sort of let it slip by thanks to timing. and now, i just found out yesterday he has committed to a girl that he once compared to me as- he could never have the kind of stimulating connection with her as he does with me. and then suddenly, i read over your statement about your boyfriend marrying someone else because you wouldn’t marry him. I know I hurt him in some bizarre & intricate way, and inadvertently so. Sometimes we get so consumed with our own confusion, we don’t realize what is right in front of us, or happening around us. I miss him dearly, and I was not accepted back into his life after that. And, it is definitely “coming back with a vengeance”

  26. Thanks elsa. I am certain I was a horrible person in a past life……too bad I don’t remember. The chart I have in this current life might break me if things in the Venus, Saturn, Pluto T sqaure arena remain the same.

  27. “One thing that baffles me is how people can treat others horribly and then come back around and expect to be welcomed.”

    this is why i love this quote:
    I don’t believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at. ~Maya Angelou

  28. Saturn critical in the 4th, conjunct IC, opposing MC, Square to the Moon in Scorpio first house. Why would I even dream of being entitled to anything? Everything comes at a price, which is always a little out of my league. If I get one thing, I lose two. As it happens, my Saturn IC line runs longitudinally through my country, meaning there’s no way in hell I could ever get away from this effect within our borders.

  29. Saturn is on my sun. I’ve pretty much lost most of my relationships, except with my son and my brother. This year I’ve made one or two actual friends.

    There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wake up and wish something really bad would happen to my ex. It has to. People can’t just get away with shit — I’ve got Cap rising and I sure as hell never did.

  30. I think the adage “If you’ve always been honest because you believe honesty to be the best policy then your honesty has always been corrupt” applies here.

    Being cordial and civil are one thing, but if you act towards someone like you care when you don’t just because you think you should, well eventually your colors will show. And for whom? And for what? I ended up with thyroid disease due to having used my will to so thoroughly suppress my desire.

    I have Pluto in Virgo 2H, trine Saturn in Capricorn 6H, trine Sun 10H.

  31. I promise you Elsa. You have a ton of common sense! And as they say its totally not common. Unfortunately – I used to know a lot of peeps like this.

  32. Saturn in Cancer H11.

    Friends (and lovers) are tremendously important to me as my relationships with everyone in my family were always so fraught.
    I’ve always had serious problems with both Cancer / family related stuff, and with friends suddenly turning on me. They never explain why!

    On the other hand I’m very tolerant, especially with the men in my life, but even I can get exasperated an finally ‘take the lid off the pan’ (great expression!)

    I truly hope Saturn in Libra teaches The Man something, after all his years of selfishness and his sense that his charm entitles him to be endlessly forgiven. Though I fear he’s impervious… even to Saturn!

  33. My ex has Saturn Aries 3rd. Mine is Saturn Venus Asc Aquarius 12th.

    I will never understand how he’d treat people like total shit, but then actually expect them to still like him. He thought everyone wanted to have sex with him (Scorpio Sun conj 10th House Cusp). Even after he’d be fired, or people would throw him away, he’d still walk around talking about how they are suffering without him, and really want him back! LOL – I can’t write this without laughing.

    * twirls fingers around head in cuckoo sign *

    He would have me read his cards, then if something good was set to happen, he’d sit on his ass and expect it to fall in his lap.

    When his Karma finally hits him back in the ass, it’s gonna be like an A-Bomb.

  34. @Rachael, wow! I’m impressed with your awareness of how you recognized the manifestation of creating a thyroid dis-ease in your body. Thanks for sharing that.

    It is a lesson to never ever suppress your will power for the sake of “whom or what.”

    What a lesson for me, especially with natal saturn in Aries 7th house. The last two years I suppressed my feelings for the sake of “whom and what,” which caused me sadness and depression.

    But my saturn lessons have been tough in order for me to utilize the forceful, dominant, forward thrusting male Aries and couterbalance with lady libra to bring balance back to myself so I can let others know what I will or will not tolerate.

    New people are showing up in my life right now so I know the universe is testing me to see how well I will relate to saturn in Libra. No more being treated badly. Aries will let u have it, and Lady Libra will bask in the beautiful glow of balance.

  35. Elsa, I’ve read a lot of your posts. You are very vague in your writing and I don’t understand you. Where is your neptune? Do you have planets in pisces?

  36. I love your words Elsa and I am glad you’re back in vogue! I am pretty disappointed with Saturn/ Capricorns, actually not disappointed more like bruised. I have always admired them for their hard work, since I don’t take anything for granted either but they never liked me back, they always end up with wealthier, more beautiful people that are taking things for granted and offer status. So, I work hard and that’s about it, after all it’s all I am good at. Aren’t serious, hard-working people supposed to like other serious, hard-working people?

  37. “Aren’t serious, hard-working people supposed to like other serious, hard-working people?”

    @als Good question! I do but I think some people may rather be cheered or soothed so I can understand it either way.

  38. “Who can relate? Where is your Saturn?”

    My Saturn is Libra 1st house. From what I understand, it has to do with relationships? And 1st house is the house of my identity? Do I have that right? Saturn being the taskmaster has sure raked me over the coals where relationships are concerned. How should I handle this placement?

    Also, I have so much empathy with your post, you don’t even know. *hugs*

  39. Saturn in Cap, 6th house, trine Pluto in 2nd, square Venus in 3rd, sextile Neptune in 4th (and also exactly quincunx my ascendant).

    Tr. Pluto has been on my natal Saturn all year. A former friend who is in my department at work was off on medical leave last year for several months. We haven’t been friends for over two years due to her actions at a time when I was feeling pretty bad over my father’s first birthday since his death. When she came back from medical leave just before Christmas last year, she was welcomed back by a lot of people, but I didn’t say a word to her. And, because of that, she’s been badmouthing me all year to her buddies and scheming to get me fired. It’s all so petty and high schoolish to me. Some people do see through this and are smart enough to consider the source, but it makes it hard to go to work some days. :\

    Why on earth would she feel entitled to be welcomed back by me?

    Another thing about Saturn in Libra… it is transiting my 4th, and my urge is to simplify at home by getting rid of some belongings, and make things more aesthetically appealing. It makes me feel off-balance to have my “sanctuary” cluttered.

  40. It isn’t necessary to guillotine friendships, however sometimes one has to set (very clear) boundaries. If another transgresses in a way that is destructive then I do believe it is perfectly honorable to take time out. Also, sometimes people are in the midst of work, projects, deadlines, etc. and have to drop out until obligations are met. It doesn’t come from any lack of love, but considering how many people get caught up in the very human loop of squabbles and dramas, sometimes it’s the healthiest thing to reset the focus (and the relationship).

  41. Saturn (virgo- 11th house) square venus (sag- 3rd house), moon in capricorn, with forgiveness courtesy of venus exactly trine pluto. Here’s what I’ve learned in my ripe older age: First, if you build it yourself and follow the laws of the universe, no one can take it (your confidence) away. Second, the wonderful thing about Saturn is we never need concern ourselves with thoughts of revenge.

  42. Thanx Elsa now I understand myself even better :), I am also this way, any mistreatment —-> your out,it is also a great way of making “enemies” LOL and getting a reputation as someone unforgiving and resentful …go fugure … i think to myself i am way better off without you (the person in question)around me!

    7th house Saturn & Cappy Rising

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *