Something has been dogging me over the last few months. I’ve not been able to resolve it. It’s done nothing but get worse! I finally drug out my chart to diagnose the problem.
As it turns out, Saturn in Aquarius is opposing my natal Uranus in Leo. Transiting Saturn and Uranus are squared off at this time which exacerbates the situation. I feel pressure to express my individual creativity. When I respond to the pressure, invariably I’m rejected?
One this happens to you, one million times, you get scared. Especially when your income relies on people accepting you. Next thing you know, you’re hamstrung and that’s where I’m at today. I’m going to offer details so I’m not misconstrued.
I have an unusual background. There is absolutely nothing I can do about this. Believe me, I’ve spent my life trying to merge with traffic. It’s like the Beverly Hillbillies moving to the city.
I’m often blindsided by assumptions people make about me. Sometimes I challenge them but usually I don’t. This is because I just don’t have the time. But it annoying.
I get tagged in various ways. I feel like an unfortunate Christmas tree, getting ugly ornaments applied to me, followed by strings of popcorn; finished with chunks of seaweed flung onto my branches. Am I’m supposed to stand there!
I try to ignore this as much as possible. I’m a Saturn Neptune type and a Venus Neptune type. I know how to transcend. But recently I’ve come to understand crazy-significant differences between me and most people that can be attributed to my personal life experience. I like these differences! If I have any gift at all, it’s probably tied to these oddities.
Unfortunately people tend to assign pathologies to a person like me. I know this and I’ve known it for decades. I’m not you, so what’s my diagnosis? Whatever you say it is; you can convince yourself! But I don’t think you’ll convince me because I live in my body and I surely know better!
Recently, I came across an “educated” explanation of the phenomena. Apparently when a person has an individual world view developed under the influence of non-typical conditions, people will pass moral judgment on them. People just don’t like, “tall poppies”, black sheep or really, oddities of any kind.
This is a great topic for Saturn vs Uranus in general. Crush the individual – yay! But Uranus in Leo brings creativity into the equation. There’s a lot of pressure to crush an individual’s creative product. Color in the lines or else! Keywords for search!
I’ve got to push back against this, clearly. In reality (Saturn) my unusual (Uranus) upbringing at the hands of my mega-Aquarian (Uranus) parents (Saturn), allows me to see things most people can’t. I’m also willing to share what I see – offering not just an outside perspective but an out-of-bounds view you can’t find anywhere else.
This reminds me of when someone asked me if I was an idiot savant.
Whatever I am, I have no way to go back in time to receive the typical curriculum that would allow me to better fit in. But put a chart in my hand and that thing talks to me, period.