Saturn in Aquarius and Toxic Relationships

poisonIn the last few years, particularly with Saturn in Capricorn, we saw a resurgence of boundaries. We no longer had the time to invest in relationships that did not serve us, and instead we labelled those relationships “toxic” and cut them off.  We’ve taken a hard line against codependence and have made sure that every person stood on their own two feet. As far as our culture has been concerned, no one owes anyone anything.

But as Saturn in Aquarius has brought us social distancing at the same time that Pluto in Capricorn brings real, honest hardship, we are learning the limitation of that approach. As it turns out, we need each other. When the going gets tough, we need someone to turn to help up keeps the lights on, both in our homes and in our hearts. We become slightly more tolerant of people’s quirks and cowlicks, and we see the value they provide. What looked toxic a few months ago now looks downright benign.

I think this is a trend that will continue with Saturn in Aquarius. People simply won’t be so easy to throw away. Here’s what I see happening:

Codependence -> Independence -> Interdependence

No boundaries -> Strict boundaries -> Flexible boundaries

Toxic relationships -> Cutting off relationships -> Healing relationships

Because when it comes down to it, what are we without other people? Our relationships define us and help us grow. And when times are hard, they sustain us.

What do you see happening with Saturn in Aquarius?

Consult with Midara.

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Saturn in Aquarius and Toxic Relationships — 35 Comments

  1. Grateful to you for this analysis, Midara. I’ve been rolling this over my tongue for months. Thich Nhat Hahn says we inter-are, mirroring Indigenous teachings which always emphasize our relatedness.

    I have Saturn in Aquarius natally (more gratitude for your recent answer to my question), and I’m tentatively – a bit shellshocked yet – testing the strength and give of this more solid feeling of our Universal social net.

  2. I don’t know that we should become more tolerant of toxic relationships.

    I do know that with the passage of Pluto in Capricorn I’d been thinking of how a man can’t live off bread alone. How much I suffered without belonging. I should concentrate on the mars part. My moon has progressed into Libra and I’m more interested in interdependence. Though Neptune is ripping my connnections away I think.

    With Saturn in Aquarius, all I know is we’re all suffering. We’re all feeling negative emotions and alienation.

  3. It’s funny how a part of grown up life is interdependence. And how you have to be independent to be able to do it. Like you need to be mature and support another person and have boundaries. Rather than suckle at their teat. Have to support them too. I don’t know that it’s completely easier than independence. It’s the Vedic householding phase.

  4. I think in life we move from

    Dependence in childhood to independence in young adulthood to interdependence in adulthood when you get married and shit

    Man 🙁 life is relentless

    At the same time, I want to believe that the image of adulthood is evolving.. and maybe an adult can be a joyous Fool who continuously expands their capability responsibly cause fuck the staid stereotypes (I have Saturn in Sagittarius and it’s taken a long time to discard living as a sad baby in a suit and living in the moment with less jealousy of the free)

    Aaanyway.. back to the question. I still don’t know what’s happening. Maybe I’m not farsighted enough to know. I do know that technologically things are just getting started. Also I think human stupidity is being highlighted and how were complicit in the damage to the planet. How much it will do fine without us.

  5. I like that you pulled the dependency factor into all of this toxicity.

    It’s a 3rd house thing for me. Acceptance of the way it is. I live in a gemini town in a gemini state. I have to slow down, stay aware, think before I get into things. The trappers are tricky.

    It doesn’t mean I support the tricksters, or believe the tricksters or go along with the trickstering. It means that I gain understanding of the individuals I interact with. Accept that is the way they are and act in accordance to protect myself from those maniacal games that can be so damaging.

    And I will be keeping my eye on helping and asking for help. I don’t want to give expecting that I am owed in return. And in turn I don’t want to be expected to go into slavery to the giver when I ask for help.

    And as far as joint ventures, I will do what I agree to, but also will need to judge if the other venturer(s) are capable of same. Personally, I am communing with the ground under my feet, and the physical sky above me, that is what sustains me.

  6. I think that with Saturn in Aquarius, we’re have to create hope and cultivate groups to nurture and survive. I have my Moon and Jupiter in Aquarius as well as a stellium in 11th house Leo with my natal Pluto and Saturn in Scorpio. This may be a defining moment for me, or a revelation.

  7. I thought this was a very poignant tribute to the times we are living with the virus effecting everyone. Life has slowed too. The simple pleasures are needed more and appreciated.

    • I agree, Sharon. With every human being affected by an unseen factor I’m facing a reversal. For years (before The Virus) I wore a mask because of the illness I live with; it protected me from ‘others.’ The mask many are wearing now as well as me wearing one is to protect others from me. It’s a subtle but powerful collective shift. Inter-dependency.
      Perhaps, before we re-enter The Age of Aquarius, new norms and solid ground is what we’ll all need/create. I’m doing my deep work and am churned up. (Think that’s Uranus in Taurus’s bit).

  8. The problem is that we have been too tolerant of the behavior of the pedophile elite and all of their perversion and sickness. It only manifests in the world when we do not take care of the internal sickness. You get the government you deserve and we have it. I disagree that we will become more tolerant or even that we should. I believe there is a cosmic separation happening and that those on us on a higher frequency are going to leave behind those who are not. It’s not New Age. It’s Old Age. The original people must leave this place so the other races can battle it out for supremacy. We don’t have a dog in this fight. The time for KumBahYah is over. The time for separation is now!!!! Hail Amen.

    • I agree, we’ve put up with the deranged for too long, and this is what they’ve achieved: they’ve almost destroyed the world.
      I’m glad I’ve cut all toxic people from my life, being stuck with toxic in lockdown would be a disaster. A thousands times better alone than with a monster.

      • Thanks for the comment about it being the time to stop the deranged vaccinators and other idiot savants, before they destroy humanity with their evil vaccines. They created Corona viruses to scare people into getting vaccited.

        • They the deranged money gluttons and their Dr Faucets/idiot savants, created Corona viruses scare, in order to sell their enslaver micro chips laden drugs and vaccines. They trick governments into scaring people to beg for their enslaver vaccines. Doctors in the U.S.A. exposed how they were told to report every sickness and death as Corona virus in order to create the pandemic scare and lockdown

  9. I don’t know what’s going to happen…. But I see Saturn as energy creating distance, do the calculations and make up his mind these days. I have had him travel my 12th house in capricorn, first squaring off my Moon (bye, mom!), then sextiling my Scorpio Planets (hey powerful!) And last but not least finish off a square to my Saturn/Pluto conjunction in Libra, 9th house (bye misconceptions and unhealthy beliefs that undo me in relationships)

    Taking responsibility and being personally responsible for myself or others is a big theme in my life right now. I have a unhealthy habit of taking on too much responsibility due to a childhood with a mother who was sad and angry – who didn’t take responsibility for her kids to protect them from a very bad relationship to my dad.
    I ‘overdid’ things to make mom happy. And that comes back to bite me in the ass now.

    My mother dumped me in February 2019, asking me not to call anymore, so I think I see Saturn as a great force of liberation for myself and toxic relationships. Even if that means I am more or less alone in life.
    It’s still better than be under somebody’s thumb and overdo for fear of being left.

    The hardest thing to do is walk away when you love someone and leave them alone.

    • For some reason I recall you having more than one cancer planet. I might be wrong.

      These transits sound really tough and heartbreaking. For whatever reason… they got me thinking.

      It’s funny how the cancerian part of people always leaves a mom scar. How often people with cancer planets can’t stop talking about her. Even if they’re big adults.

      I think they see a lot of things in that dynamic. Mothers and daughters, dependents and those that care. And sometimes they can’t understand why people wouldn’t care for others in small ways like a mother would. And sometimes they can’t be bothered to care about people who aren’t their dependents.

      They say that cancerian people eventually have to sever contact with their mother to make their own home. And to mother themselves correctly. Sometimes that can look like being responsible only for yourself. But you’re learning a new definition of nurture and to love yourself and feel safe in a healthier way. And to reject the baggage of your mother. I could be wrong.

    • I hear you Kri. In my Saturn Return Im learning that enabling can poison the person you think your helping. A sort of paralyzing poison. It numbs them into inaction. Its not intentional. But it not right to enable someone to the point they lose the opportunity of gaining the pride and confidence of achieving things on their own.
      And it can be an addictive bit of selfishness too because it can give a sense of worth and satisfaction to the person helping no matter how truly kind hearted they are. And perhaps deflects the uncomfortable work they should be doing on themselves.
      Its been an eyeopener so far, my Saturn in Aquarius return…and I am ridiculously grateful

  10. I think the first thing people craved and what drove them crazy is their freedom. Freedom to leave the house and go outside. I guess that’s a Saturn in Aquarius thing.. realizing how important freedom is, what kind of freedom, and how to defend it.

    Then people missed the open world. Specifically, nature. I found that if people went out in nature once a day, a bit far, they could trick themselves into thinking they had freedom. They needed nature more than other people. Sometimes the people in the house were the ones driving them crazy. Exercise helped us keep sane and trick all of us into thinking that if we were running in place we were going somewhere.

    Then people needed people. It is what we thought we missed the most. But really the craziness we felt, the sleeplessness, the emotion, was due to lack of freedom. As well as the many nameless mental issues and fear and fragility. It’s nuts.

    Then only then after that some people needed delicious food and stuff. Or whatever things they crave.

  11. Yesterday I was poking a snail in the shell and wondering if animals ever feel happiness. Or do they just do what evolution meant them to do. It’s a foolish question. I think human self awareness breeds happiness and unhappiness. And I thought of that quote from the Bible about how the lilies of the field never work. There is a happiness to creation. But is the created thing happy?

    (Mercury is touching my Uranus today 😀 and your posts always get me talking anyway..)

  12. Btw the snail I poked, I didn’t hurt it and I was only checking if it was alive. Then I blocked some people from stepping on it. I watched it walk.

  13. I guess freedom is always theoretical for me and other people. In this situation, it is being made tangible. How crazy we are.

  14. I live with someone who has Saturn in Aquarius. It will be interesting to see what happens during his Saturn return.

  15. This is an interesting perspective on Saturn in Aquarius and if it is how it is manifesting then what will be the manifestation of Saturn retrograding into Capricorn?

    A point I think is important is that, for me, it all happened quite precisely as Saturn hit Pluto. Like it feels as though all the toxicity that needs to have a solution of boundaries was in the Pluto.

    I had to break with three people. One I had known for 18 years, another for 19 years and one I had known for 26 years. All within a month of each other.

    We’ll see how things go. The one I have known for 18 years was a rather big and very revealing incident (of the past) but I am now on better terms with that person. It’s early days. The other two I am continually angry about how I was treated, and the two of them are nowhere near seeing themselves as anything less than morally correct (even superior) in the situation. They consider behaviours I consider quite unpleasant to be morally correct. So it doesn’t seem to me at this point that relationship will figure itself out.

    Answering SPECIFICALLY to the last question I see that the government, especially in the US will do something to vastly change the way society runs. I think they are shooting for a kind of coming together of society, although the specifics of the laws invoked would be too long, but as a small example, Trump has half nationalised the Federal Reserve.

    Which is a reality I would prefer. I don’t really need to have communication with people that have been condescending and/ or morally superior. Simply fix the economy and I’ll go out and find my own friends with more time and money on my hands to do that.

    • I think you should look to Venus Retrograde relating to why t hey are nowhere near seeing themselves as anything less than morally correct or even superior in the situation. I’m experiencing something similar to the breaks in friendship and discovered Venus Retrograde as having more meaning… food for thought. Hugs and love to you!

    • That’s what Damien Echols said and that’s what I used to believe.. but normal people just seem to be losing it in solitary

  16. I’ve cut out more toxic people from my life than ever, under this transit. I have zero tolerance for people who are lost in their addictions & harmful behavior. Have drawn sharp, clear boundaries & I’m overjoyed that I am who I am, at this moment. On the other hand (double Libra), I’m supporting & encouraging of the people that are sincerely trying to level up. I simply have no energy or space for b.s. — most especially mine own. Am intensely working on myself at this time, so my standards apply to everyone.

  17. I was just reading an article about the effects of this quarantine on university students.. I agree with this and can’t see an upside

    “Socrates first complained that children “love chatter in the place of exercise” more than 2,000 years ago, and little has changed since then. The young adult brain is typically more dependent on social interaction than a fully matured adult’s. “The importance of peers has been a hallmark of adolescence for thousands of years,” says Dr Amy Orben, a research fellow at the University of Cambridge’s cognition and brain sciences unit. “What we have seen in studies is that this period involves a strengthening of social ties and a reconfiguration of social networks. Young people are finding their place in a maturing social world.” ‘

    • ‘Sisk explains that young people feel stress more acutely than adults: tests on lab rats find that adolescent rats struggle to turn off their stress response as quickly as adult rats do.

      own – and wait for the world to reopen. Coronavirus is more than just an existential fear: it has also put the brakes on reaction, rebellion, or the generational search for answers. It has forced young adults to return to their families, and accelerated the destruction of existing models of work

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