I feel sick to my stomach today, waiting for Saturn to turn direct. Some things feel lost forever, though I admit that’s a bit dramatic (Leo). And I don’t really know, truth (Jupiter) be told.
The past is certainly gone. But I thought the same of my husband, thirty years ago. He came back with a vengeance.
I do feel this is a day to settle things, internally or otherwise. I feel grateful for my gains and even more grateful that the things that are bad, aren’t worse. I don’t fear (Saturn) the future (Sagittarius).
You?
I don’t know. I haven’t been feeling like myself this past week. I’ve been weeping all over the place and that’s just not like me, to suddenly catch myself in mid conversation and start crying.
I want another child but know I will never have one. I just can’t. My husband has too many health problems. My youngest, the Scorpio would never forgive me. We can’t afford it and where we live now has zero room; we are packed to the gills, even with all the purging we have done.
I have no idea where I want to be. I wish I could go back to Florida, but I can’t. I’m not supposed to go back I don’t think.
Maybe you are right Elsa; maybe some things I feel like I have lost right now will come back to me.
Saturn in Scorpio was in my first house; now Saturn will be going to my second. My Neptune and Moon are there, with my Moon being closer to Capricorn.
We’ll see how this goes.
Saturn in Scorpio falls in my 12th house, so it’s rather a dour and lonely time of reading books and trying to remedy things — and “frenemies” have been particularly hurtful over the past 2-1/2 years…so yes, I’m consolidating my losses, too! I’ve also had the recent loss of a career of 27+ years which ended in June (when I take into account the years I spent in night school that would be about 30 years). But thankfully, I have something more interesting in the works, and the old career hardly pays anything these days (with the advent of voice recognition and outsourcing to India, etc.), so it wasn’t a total shock, but more like viewing a funeral, with all due respects (Sun in 8th house now). But I haven’t been in mourning — in fact, more like rejoicing after being released from the drudgery and low pay and unrealistic expectations. Go me! https://youtu.be/BlJXW_DplYQ
“…some things feel lost forever.” Really resonating with that today!
Saturn is going through my 7th house and I’ve been feeling anger and bitter resentment about the way people have treated me over the past months. I have no more interest in dating or parties/meeting new people in general. I feel resigned and just “done” in so many ways. I know ultimately this is to be a springboard for my personal growth and empowerment, but today I just want to sit back and acknowledge these intense feelings, because I’m going to need to draw on them a lot going forward. “Consolidate” them…that’s a good way of putting it.
“The past is certainly gone”, this is the way I feel it right now. Thanks for the words, Elsa.
finally making progress on the job search. a bunch of things all starting to turn at once (multiple second interviews in the next few weeks.) something might turn up. (cautiously optimistic.) in the meanwhile, in my frustration at getting nowhere with the job hunt led to me to apply (and get accepted) to a PhD program… an idea I’m starting to actually get attached to.
someday i should stop going to school, though, right? (OK, I have a 9th house gemini jupiter on the midheaven. so maybe not, one way or another…) this degree would help me get the jobs i want. follow the calling, so to speak. and give me an opportunity to work on the specific kind of application in want to get hired for as part of a dissertation. but i’m giving myself a deadline for finishing, and if it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, or if i can’t get decent consulting work in the meanwhile (it’s amazing how differently people talk to you when you call yourself a PhD student rather than a Master’s grad!) i’ll have to redirect. i refuse to still be in college when my son heads off. I need to pay for his school!
so, i don’t know what i’m doing in a month. i’ve signed up for a bunch of classes, but if i get offered an awesome job i should probably just take it. unless there’s a way i could do both. i might have negotiation room.
(i have a job. i’ve known i needed to find something better since November. which is when i started looking for a new one….)
this is the sort of thing i’m chewing on. hopefully Saturn direct will help me orient on a clear path forward.
oh, all this saturn retrogradey thing has occurred opposite my jupiter…
I feel the same way, it’s a great day to settle up and then work towards a bright future :).
Angie
The future is all I got- but I have the chance to get what I want finally, after years of that being an impossibility.
Ben venga, futuro! 🙂
Nope, not afraid. I’m free (or soon about to be free) of all of the troublesome energy I’ve dealt with the past few years, plus Jupiter’s moving toward my Moon. I haven’t felt this good, and relatively unburdened, since January 2011! 🙂
I found out today that I have arthritis so dealing with it and making daily changes is my new normal. Saturn is transiting my 6th house.
I’ve been getting signs from the universe to move forward….fast! “You’ve waited long enough, time to move on.”
Well, okay then, universe. 🙂
It’s good to be going forward. Soon, I’ll be out of the basement. Into a new life, as the old one has served a timely and educational purpose. As it has been bitter/sweet. The old me will die the honorable death of new environments and circumstance. I welcome the Blinding Eye. I’m ready. But, most importantly, at my age I am conscious of the process and it’s meaning.
It is not yet a time to come to shore. That is for Saturn in Capricorn. It is time to become inflamed. Old Man – inspire me. Please, warm my heart, once again.
Beatifully said Chad!
I hope the new phase will bring you good stuff, and more of that precious knowledge & wisdom.
It’s good to be going forward. Soon, I’ll be out of the basement. Into a new life, as the old one has served a timely and educational purpose. As it has been bitter/sweet. The old me will die the honorable death of new environments and circumstance. I welcome the Blinding Eye. I’m ready. But, most importantly, at my age I am conscious of the process and it’s meaning.
It is not yet a time to come to shore. That is for Saturn in Capricorn. It is time to become inflamed. Old Man – inspire me. Please, warm my heart, once again.
I’m ready for Saturn to get off of my Taurus moon. The opposition wasn’t as bad as the first time around but this time has been harsh in other ways. The first time around was absolutely brutal but I was younger and had much less life experience to reflect upon. This time it’s just been difficult but not unmanageable.
I feel just the same. Thank you for your writing Elsa, it never fails to give new insight.
I’ve started putting the apartment back in order. Hubby’s back home (yay!) with some pain relief that actually WORKS. *\o/*
It’s time to roll, people. LOL. Let’s go.
That’s awesome:)
I’m Capricorn sun 10 degrees and Virgo rising at 14.5 degrees…any thoughts on how Saturn direct in Scorpio and Jupiter into Virgo will impact me? My husband and I have been separated in two locations for two years. I’ve moved closer to resolve our situation and also for a job search…will the other shoe drop and I’ll realize I’m in the wrong place or is there a method to my madness?
Thx!
I’m pretty sad today thinking about the things that I lost or are a lost cause during the Saturn in Scorpio transit. I know this last part of the transit is going to be a make or break time for some relationships in my life.
I feel like this transit has gotten rid of everything I enjoyed in my life and left me with very little, emotionally and financially. The past will always be a part of me, but I know I have to move on. Even if things are left unresolved.
Maybe, like with your husband, its left for another day, you never know.
I always count my blessings. I know things could be so much worse. I’m looking forward to the future and hope the Saturn in Sadge is as good as the first time I had it 30 years ago. It gave me a new direction in life.
Thanks for the reference. Yes, that is how I’ve felt – that I’ve “lost” everything that was…my husband happens to be Scorpio, so with Saturn in his sign and Pluto in mine we’ve had a doozy of a time! We had our home, our marriage, our families, and now none of that exists or is in our lives the same way…but, I am a big believer in regeneration and rebirth, and I feel that coming about in my life. There has been fear, but more so anticipation, particularly when Saturn moved into Sadge, but this last go-around in Scorp may just do our relationship in or revive us in a whole new way. I just don’t know…
I hope Saturn in Sadge is good for you!
This Cappy is very, very happy that Saturn is moving forward again. 🙂 One last push through Scorpio muck!
I just had a very enlightening experience with that libra man. He’s abusive. He left me on the side of the road because the restaurant I chose for us to eat at had bad service. I am grateful that I saw his potential for just plain cruelty before it got worse and I got even more invested. I do feel like I lost something though. Time maybe? I don’t know. Something is damaged inside of me though. Hopefully not forever.
((((Libra noir))))
Better now than later!
That’s what I was thinking! I had a child with the last abusive asshole. I’m less invested with this one so I guess there’s some growth:) I’m so glad it’s done. Relief.
Years ago, my Libra husband left me on the side of the road because he thought I was flirting with the waiter. This marriage did not end well. You deserve a hell of a lot better than that. Please stick with your decision to end it forever with this guy. PLEASE??
Don’t worry belle. I’ve been down this road with another libra and I’m not doing it again. This is something that my ex ex libra would totally do. Oddly enough new libra dumped me because I was flirting with his friend. I was so scared of old libra I didn’t even talk to anyone when he was around. I’m not doing it again. I’ve worked too hard for my sense of peace to give it away for a paranoid (but gorgeous) and demented guy.
He doesn’t sound like a keeper — I think I would throw him back from wherever he came! Sorry, it sounds like you lost your dignity, but that happens to me, too. It’s just awkward and annoying to spend time with people who don’t appreciate you. I have a tendency to be codependent and the definition for that is when others can voice their opinions/likes/dislikes but you can’t. In a relationship, they matter, but you don’t. The only thing to do is just “cut them off.” Yes, it hurts and it’s painful, but not near the pain of letting the relationship continue!! I regret for all the times I allowed users to use me and wish I had learned all this when I was younger and could have saved myself a lot of misery, but now I’d rather just be by myself if I have to choose between the two. I love myself whether or not anyone loves me…and I know God loves me so…I don’t care about the rest. ~
Thanks Buffy:) everything you said was true. I thought I’d outgrown my attraction to guys like this. Being alone sounds like heaven to me right now.
You’re welcome Libra noir. Also, with Venus retrograde until Sept. 6, I believe it affects us Libras more than the other signs and it shows us the often ugly truth about relationships. We Libras want the one on one, don’t we, but on the other hand, I’m trying to get better about letting some things fall by the wayside when they just don’t fit until something better takes its place! 🙂
Ya this venus retrograde was pretty hellacious.
Holy crap! I want to punch him in the face for doing that to you! That kind of thing is an all-to potential scenario that runs through my mind. I’m so glad you’re rid of him.
Thanks Allie:)
Libra noir, I just want to say a few more things. I know u probably feel hurt, rejected, and angry, but try not to give too much energy to this relationship. Becoz #1 – You can’t make it right, as u know relationships take 2 people and even if u got him back, unless he’s willing to treat u right, it probably still would be a hot mess (maybe it’s better to just walk away from the “train wreck” than trying to fix it — and that’s sooo hard for me, becoz with my Virgo MC I want to fix things). And #2 is your energy — A friend once told me something like this “Don’t give energy to negative things.” Shirley MacLaine said “Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” ~ http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-or-difficult-people/
And finally, self-care is important no matter how others treat you! Are you looking after yourself? When u feel the energy drain from u, it’s best just to walk away than stand there and fight IMHO. I saw this on Twitter today…”There are 2 ways to be. One is at war with reality and the other is at peace.” I just try to let the feeling wash thru me like a wave that rises and falls and then surrender it to my Higher Power (Pisces IC).
More than anything I feel relieved. Kind of traumatized but I know how to work through things. Going to drink a detoxifying juice today. I am absolutely done with this nightmare. I’m giving no energy to it whatsoever. I told him he’s dead to me and he is. There’s no way I’m going to accept this kind of thing in my life. Im lonely and need love but this isn’t love. I’m not that desperate. Thanks for the link and support Buffy.
First ((((((((((((Libra noir)))))))))))) omg…. I want to throat punch him!! Leaving a woman on the side of a road because of nonsense. Give me his phone number, I have had it with Mmmm efffers!!!!!
Saturn is going direct. Oh, goody…. I am hanging on the cross. There is nothing left. Go ahead asshole, just kill me and get it over with. I got nothing left to fight with. (I could muster up something for that ass that left Libra noir on the side of the road though)
I cant do it. Period. That is all…….
Ooo! Can you see me and soup marching up on his ass!
Thanks soup:) I should point out that my car was five or so blocks away from this incident. So it wasn’t like a muddy ditch or something. Nonetheless it was scary and disturbing and just mean. I’m so glad it’s over!
Sorry you had to go through that, Libra noir.
Thanks Lawrence:)
I ran into my ex-fiance tonight after five years of actively avoiding anyplace he might be. The fight-or-flight instinct kicked in, but I decided to make nice and just say, “Hey, it’s good to see you. I hope you are well.” And he responded in kind.
It doesn’t seem to matter to me now that there was a restraining order on him involved back then or any other BS that he pulled when he was hurting. He’s remarried and has gained a lot of weight. 🙂 I don’t want to carry this grudge anymore. And for the first time in quite a while, I no longer view him as a threat. Let us run into each other at random. I no longer feel panic.
“I do feel this is a day to settle things, internally or otherwise.” Spot on.
However, Saturn in Scorpio took out a lot of my family and dear, old friends: 14, to be exact. Death, death, death. Cancer, cancer, cancer, with the occasional murder, car accident, suicide or murder/suicide. I feel strong, but I can’t help wondering who’s going to be taken out between now and the time he leaves Scorpio again. Maybe even me. Can’t worry about it – just have to keep looking toward the future and being the best possible me I can be.
Someone on Facebook had a complete and total emotional breakdown! Not clinical, I don’t think they’re mentally ill but the pressure just broke, and that was that!
I didn’t delete but was concerned. Sounded like she was holding all this back for years, like Saturn in Libra and Scorpio years.
Being as I have five mutable planets, and I still remember thirty years ago and how the Saturn in Sag turned out. I am panicked about this upcoming transit! It was the first time that I really lost people that I loved. I was 15 in 1985 when my great grandmother passed away and I was 17 when my step dad passed away in 1987. He was my dad and it was as if my entire world was destroyed when this happened. It was from then on that I tuned in to Death and within the next few years, Dad’s parents and sibling died. Devastating! When Saturn was in Gemini, on my Moon, my mother in law died. These are not my favorite transits. Definitely not looking forward to the next several years.
Cosmicbeast, I also am dealing with bitterness and resentment. 7th house Saturn transit also. A friend told me about, Brad Yates EFT videos on YouTube. There is one for resentment, it’s 13 minutes and 13 seconds long and I have been doing it daily. Just wanted to share in case you might be interested in trying it.
Thanks, I’ll look into it.
The future is upon me, that I am getting. I don’t know about settled. Strange ideas are formulating. They are probably not so strange, just strange to me. Sometimes I think, where did the past go. I can’t correlate with it most of the time. I heard thing on tv from a chef of all people, but then again cooking shows are the rage it seems. He journeyed somewhere for new experience and said something like, it’s a dream, some of it makes sense, some of it doesn’t, but it will leave me with something. I’m just not sure about much anymore, and I am indeed more comfortable with that now. Life just keeps rolling out.
I agree with Colleen, happy Cappy here too, glad to moving out of scorpio muck. It’s been a fight all the way (and still is with venus being Rx, and square Saturn and with conjuncting my neptune) but I can see reality and there’s a beautiful work offer just ahead with the people I love to work with once I finally see off those who’ve created hell all the way and are not going away easily or nicely. Saturn in scorp has been tough, relentless and butt-kicking but has really sorted out the wheat from the chaff. Roll on Saturn in Sag…..
Yes, the past is definiteley gone. Although it’s an on-going process from the day we are born, some periods feel more like turning points than others.
Thank you Elsa for your perspective – it helps.
Saturn spent the last 2 yrs in my 1st house – hoo boy, I’m really feeling it. Now into my 2nd, gotta straighten out some stuff in that area. Right now squaring my n Sun. Feel sad, feel afraid, but have to move on.
I’m not saying there’s no choice, but the alternatives are even worse!!!
The past couple of days it’s sunk in for me, really sunk in, that things are simply not going back to the way they were a couple of years ago. ST has had several chronic conditions pop up, and many of those were diagnosed within the last year. Last night he told me he was “broken”. :'( He meant physically, but yeah, his body just won’t be the same, going forward. Even with the new pain relief, he’s still having breakthrough pain. All we can do is move forward with what ailments he has and accept that this is part of our future.
I’ve just spent the past hour re-reading the transcript from Elsa and Satori’s Saturn in Scorpio Workshop. The depth of informaton chocked into those 40+ pages helped then; and now, it makes EVEN MORE SENSE. Reflecting and applying the discipline of learning what and how to exchange energy is so vital for me now.
Saturn is direct in my 11th House, after cleaning me of all the old precepts of Career and Reputation (10th) over the past two years. The transcript is PRACTICAL MAGIC applied. That original investment (energy $) pays off again. Thanks E & S.
The link to it is here: https://www.elsaelsa.com/product/saturn-in-scorpio_transcript/