I’ve been the same man for 3 years, and while I love him very deeply I continually manage to sabotaged the relationship. I’ve broken up with him 4 times and each time has been for a different reason. This is the longest relationship that I’ve ever had, and we entered into it with the assumption that both of us wanted a long-term relationship that would eventually lead to marriage. However, I find myself in an up and down cycle of being extremely fearful of commitment, and then terrified of being alone.
What I’m confused about is whether I just have a phobia of commitment, or if this man is just not the right one for me. I love him so much that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work.
I can’t possibly address this situation this complex in this format, however I can offer you some clarity.
First, I read that you’ve broken up with this man for four different reasons – I only see one! I see a fear of commitment and a fear of being alone, which is essentially the same thing.
Commitment-phobia manifests many ways. Sabotaging your relationships is certainly one of them.
I verified my impression with your chart. You’re an Aquarius with a stellium in the sign that includes Venus…and Jupiter no less. That’s textbook for commitment-phobia. You have a Libra moon, so while you may be freedom-loving, you don’t want to be alone.
As for the man, he looks to be a good match for you, astrologically. He’s stayed with you through all your hijinks for three years. I’d take this as a good sign as well. Last, you have a common goal – marriage.
These things are significant indications that you probably have a viable relationship here, and just ONE problem to solve! However, you’re the only one who can solve it and you’ll probably need some help. Start by educating yourself.
For that, I’d take a look at my class, Finding Love Using Astrology. The workshop costs less than an hour of therapy. It covers this issue in depth, in an intellectual way that you’ll be able to relate to.
Bottom line, this problem belongs to you. It exists independently of the partnership. If you leave the man, you’ll keep the problem, but you can resolve it if you choose to.
I say this with confidence. As a fellow hard-core commitment-phobic, who is now been happily partnered for almost ten years, I know my way around this issue. I hope this helps you cut to the chase.
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